Hi sweetie,

Sadly the answer is, very, very carefully. There are a hoard of complete assholes who just pretend to be doms and masters because they see submissive women as easy targets.

Certainly you can explore online forums like fetlife but just be super careful. Take anything anyone says with a pinch of salt. I’ve written lots of advice on it in the past so have a look through the blog.

As this blog has grown it’s become something I’m really passionate about. The number of stories I hear of women like you being completely fucked over emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically by selfish wannabe-dom abusers, because that’s what they are, makes my blood boil.

The best advice I can give, although it’s not what many want to hear, and it’s still not easy, is to find yourself a good, mature, loving boy/girlfriend. They won’t be that dom of your fantasies, but what you are looking for is potential.

It’ll take time and effort but with the right person you can have all that, and have discovered it together, which is all the more exciting.

I know though, I know you want it NOW. Oh consumerism, how you’ve ruined us.

The last few months I’ve been working on some exciting projects that I think will help, both with the whole process of teaching someone the skills you’re looking for, but also for keeping you going in the meantime with some things that will figuratively, and literally, fill those holes that make you ache.

More details coming very soon (as in, the next post…)

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