Hi! So this isn’t really related to denial but… I thought you may be a good person to ask. I’ve been seeing this girl (I too am a girl) and things are getting to the point where sex is a possibility and I want to make it good for her if it happens because I’ve never been with a girl before. Any tips?
Posted on: July 29, 2019 /
HI Anon, thanks for asking this, it’s an honour to be asked.
You have two routes you can go down with this in my opinion. You can go for the spontaneous route, and that has its merits, well according to Hollywood anyway. Spontaneous with some planning is how I’d suggest that, making it special, romantic, thinking about what you say and want to do. But remembering, that’s effectively a fantasy when you’re just making it up by yourself. Just be prepared for any plans you make to completely fall apart as soon as you get into things, and then you won’t be surprised. Nonetheless, thinking about it in advance and building an ideal scenario is good.
My preferred approach though, even if it doesn’t feel quite as romantic, is you talk about it first, and plan together. Firstly, consent is always hot, and being open about where you would like to go with her, and giving her a chance to tell you what she’s thinking is a beautiful thing.
The hardest part is starting that conversation, but it can be as simple as finding a nice time to say, ‘So I had something I wanted to ask you, come and sit with me.’ And then tell her how much you’re enjoying this with her, encourage her, and then explain you’re thinking a lot about what it would be like to take things further, is she thinking about that too?’
I assume she knows you haven’t done this with a girl before but if not, this is the time to share that, it’s important she knows.
This is just a very safe way to be asking that question of what happens next, without her feeling too threatened, and it leads to a type of conversation that’s really helpful. Because as hot as consent is…
…tease is even hotter.
Assuming she’s being positive about everything so far, this is where you just start to plant hot little ideas in her head. You snuggle up close, and whisper in her ear, ‘Do you want to know the kind of things I think about?’ She will, trust me.
- I think about how you’ll feel, my hands on you, exploring
- I think about the noises you’ll make, when I kiss you, and touch you
- I imagine… how you’d taste. here…
- you get the idea – all things are created twice, get her imagining it, enjoying it, relishing the prospect
It’d be really tempting, and easy, to just go for it at this point. And you know what, if that happens, fine – that’s great. But, I cannot overstate how hot the anticipation of this is for you both.
If you have the self control and agree you both want to try that, but also, as your first time, you want to make it ‘special’ then planning to try it, a week or two later will give you both time to truly delight in what’s coming. The wait really will make it all the sweeter. Both of you can think about what to wear to look as sexy as fuck for the other one, you can prepare the room and make it all romantic and gorgeous, and even maybe have a little date first, a meal in or out, before you go for it.
In terms of tips for the actual sex, keep it really simple. I wouldn’t worry about all the scissoring and tribbing and acrobatics yet. Start standing, or kneeling on the bed, and make out. Take your time with it, exploring with hands but mostly just slowly undressing each other until you’re both totally naked. Then more kissing, but this time, everywhere. Explore, kiss, taste, touch. Drive each other crazy. Take turns in the lead. Then back up to making out, lying facing each other, playing with the other person’s nipples and clit. Keep talking about what feels good, how it’s making you feel.
Explore fingering each other, middle two fingers with your palm pressing the clit is a good move. Also if comfortable try getting your fingers to the other’s g-spot. It’s almost impossible to reach your own but that extra angle you can get means you can reach each others (God’s a tease).
Then take turns going down on each other, this might be the first time either of you cum and that’s great, but it’s just the START. You should be expecting a few orgasms each through the evening.
If you want the best tips on that you can read my mega guide over on bdsmlr:
It was one of the most popular posts I ever wrote over on here till Tumblr went all Victorian on us.
Probably the most adventurous thing I’d suggest trying is a 69, often easier on your sides. But no pressure on that one, but it is fun if you fit.
Then last of all, back to making out, masturbating each other, and see if you can both cum at the same time. Boom, there’s your finale.
Obviously as a denial blog I also encourage you to try just edging in preparation for it, and if you think she might like that, tell her she could try too.
I hope that’s helpful. I’m not a lesbian but I do have a lifetime of experience making love to my wife so I know at least half of what I’m talking about.
And seriously, read the Cunnilingus guide, it’s fucking gold.