Archive for : July, 2019

James I just had to tell you this, I’m not normally a big denial slut. I’ll generally just get a hard edge or two before cumming hard but today I took some rx amphetamines and I’ve been masturbating and on the edge for over an hour, I’ve got a vibe in my pussy and another on my clit and I can’t cum no matter how hard I try. It’s so fucking infuriating and intoxicating. I can’t stop.

Well isn’t that interesting. I didn’t know they had that effect. Do you think the doctor does. Do you think they could just guess what kind of girl you were and wrote out that prescription imagining you edging your brains out.

Pop on some hypno such as Neural Net’s delicious Edge Puppet and of course Cal’s Curse and perhaps by the time your prescription is done your brain will be hard wired to not cum any more.

Wouldn’t that be lovely.

Be careful what you wish for.


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Can the Lush vibrator be used for just clit stimulation or does it have to be inserted?

It certainly can! It works really nicely just slipped into tight panties between your pussy lips. (sponsored post)

I’ve had the chance to use one recently and been very impressed. It’s worked much better than the we-vibe we used before. The new Lush 2 has the power button on the little bit that sticks out, which is far more sensible than having to pull the damn thing out to turn it off. (Anyone want to guess if a guy designed that first one…)


Does it make me a whore if I had more dick in my pussy than I have fingers?

Not unless you got paid, then yes, technically, it does. Although we prefer to use ‘sex worker’ round these parts.

If you’re talking about whether having sex with lots of people makes you a slut or whore or whatever people want to call it, I don’t think so. Personally, I’m a huge fan of committed, loving, sexy monogamy but that’s easy for me to say, I got very lucky, very early. 

Now if we’re talking about more dick in your pussy at the same time. Again, not a whore but hot damn it means you’re blessed with a very stretchy vagina. You probably have a promising career in porn. Which ironically is where you do get paid for sex, but aren’t a whore.

Go figure!

Hi! So this isn’t really related to denial but… I thought you may be a good person to ask. I’ve been seeing this girl (I too am a girl) and things are getting to the point where sex is a possibility and I want to make it good for her if it happens because I’ve never been with a girl before. Any tips?

HI Anon, thanks for asking this, it’s an honour to be asked.

You have two routes you can go down with this in my opinion. You can go for the spontaneous route, and that has its merits, well according to Hollywood anyway. Spontaneous with some planning is how I’d suggest that, making it special, romantic, thinking about what you say and want to do. But remembering, that’s effectively a fantasy when you’re just making it up by yourself. Just be prepared for any plans you make to completely fall apart as soon as you get into things, and then you won’t be surprised. Nonetheless, thinking about it in advance and building an ideal scenario is good.

My preferred approach though, even if it doesn’t feel quite as romantic, is you talk about it first, and plan together. Firstly, consent is always hot, and being open about where you would like to go with her, and giving her a chance to tell you what she’s thinking is a beautiful thing.

The hardest part is starting that conversation, but it can be as simple as finding a nice time to say, ‘So I had something I wanted to ask you, come and sit with me.’ And then tell her how much you’re enjoying this with her, encourage her, and then explain you’re thinking a lot about what it would be like to take things further, is she thinking about that too?’

I assume she knows you haven’t done this with a girl before but if not, this is the time to share that, it’s important she knows.

This is just a very safe way to be asking that question of what happens next, without her feeling too threatened, and it leads to a type of conversation that’s really helpful. Because as hot as consent is…

…tease is even hotter.

Assuming she’s being positive about everything so far, this is where you just start to plant hot little ideas in her head. You snuggle up close, and whisper in her ear, ‘Do you want to know the kind of things I think about?’ She will, trust me.

  • I think about how you’ll feel, my hands on you, exploring
  • I think about the noises you’ll make, when I kiss you, and touch you
  • I imagine… how you’d taste. here… 
  • you get the idea – all things are created twice, get her imagining it, enjoying it, relishing the prospect

It’d be really tempting, and easy, to just go for it at this point. And you know what, if that happens, fine – that’s great. But, I cannot overstate how hot the anticipation of this is for you both.

If you have the self control and agree you both want to try that, but also, as your first time, you want to make it ‘special’ then planning to try it, a week or two later will give you both time to truly delight in what’s coming. The wait really will make it all the sweeter. Both of you can think about what to wear to look as sexy as fuck for the other one, you can prepare the room and make it all romantic and gorgeous, and even maybe have a little date first, a meal in or out, before you go for it.

In terms of tips for the actual sex, keep it really simple. I wouldn’t worry about all the scissoring and tribbing and acrobatics yet. Start standing, or kneeling on the bed, and make out. Take your time with it, exploring with hands but mostly just slowly undressing each other until you’re both totally naked. Then more kissing, but this time, everywhere. Explore, kiss, taste, touch. Drive each other crazy. Take turns in the lead. Then back up to making out, lying facing each other, playing with the other person’s nipples and clit. Keep talking about what feels good, how it’s making you feel. 

Explore fingering each other, middle two fingers with your palm pressing the clit is a good move. Also if comfortable try getting your fingers to the other’s g-spot. It’s almost impossible to reach your own but that extra angle you can get means you can reach each others (God’s a tease).

Then take turns going down on each other, this might be the first time either of you cum and that’s great, but it’s just the START. You should be expecting a few orgasms each through the evening. 

If you want the best tips on that you can read my mega guide over on bdsmlr:

It was one of the most popular posts I ever wrote over on here till Tumblr went all Victorian on us.

Probably the most adventurous thing I’d suggest trying is a 69, often easier on your sides. But no pressure on that one, but it is fun if you fit.

Then last of all, back to making out, masturbating each other, and see if you can both cum at the same time. Boom, there’s your finale.

Obviously as a denial blog I also encourage you to try just edging in preparation for it, and if you think she might like that, tell her she could try too.

I hope that’s helpful. I’m not a lesbian but I do have a lifetime of experience making love to my wife so I know at least half of what I’m talking about.

And seriously, read the Cunnilingus guide, it’s fucking gold.

Only answer if anon 🌸 I’ve been having so many fantasies about me and my best friend helping each other reach a g spot orgasm. I want to get drunk with her, and finger the shit out of her til she squirts. She’s a virgin, and has never had a boyfriend, straight, but she’s messed with a girl once. I guess I’m just asking if you think it would be a good idea? Or how could I bring it up? I don’t want a romantic relationship, she’s my best friend and I’m so comfortable with her💕 tia

It can work, but the way you’re suggesting is a bad idea. Do not get drunk to kick things off, you need to TALK in the first place. 

The hardest part is kicking the conversation off I find, but if you’re just hanging out, being cozy with each other, a well tried classic is ‘oh my god I’m so fucking horny’, she’ll ask why, you say something about the fact you’ve been edging, she asks what’s that and you simply tell her about it. Which might then lead to reading this blog (pick out some ones you think they might like in advance perhaps and reblog them to another one of your own).

Just be real, talk to her about masturbation, what you do, what she might do. Have fun talking about it, she’s your best friend. If she’s being cool with it and getting into it, you could move it to talking about fantasies, share some each, maybe with some wine at this point, tipsy is okay once she’s clearly into the conversation, just to relax you both. Drunk is not.

Then, if your intuition says to try it, you drop in you’ve even fantasised about her sometimes. She will likely go crazy with curiosity, so make her work for it. Get her to admit if she’s thought about being with a girl, or you, or to tell you more about what she did that time.

Preface you actually sharing your fantasy with a real discussion about you being worried that it could mess things up. ‘Even saying it might make things weird, don’t you think?’ Make her think about if that’s true or not too. She’ll want to know anyway.

And then dig out the denial buddies ideas on here, see if she thinks it’s hot, and suggest you try it, but here’s a good trick. time limit it. ‘Want to try this for a week and see how it makes us?’

So yeah, it is obviously a risk but do it sensitively, and be really aware of how she’s reacting, not pushing her outside her comfort zone, and you might just discover she’d love it too. As long as your friendship is strong and honest enough for her to say she doesn’t want to, and you both be cool with that, then the upside is way bigger than the potential downside.

Let us know how you get on.


She waited outside the room, trying to maintain her arousal, to make sure she was right in the zone for what was about to happen. She didn’t know the details, they were a secret part of the process. But she did know that only a chosen few passed the trials she was about to endure. Perhaps one in five of the Novices like her.

She was scared. She wanted it so much. To be like the full members of the Order of St Margaret the Chaste. To dedicate her life to chastity and self-denial.

She understood, for the first time in a year, she’d be orgasming in that room. She’d heard the previous novice, and the one before her. But they’d failed. Perhaps they weren’t supposed to climax. She’d been told she would. Was it a test?

Either way, if she passed she knew one thing for certain. It would be the final orgasm before her vows. And so, her final one ever.

God help her.

Part 1/3 Hi James. I was sexting this guy I know last night and he wanted me to finger myself. I’ve done this before with one finger, and tried it with two, but the latter still hurts. Anyway, I really wanted to but I’m on my period so I told him it was a no-go. He was totally understanding, but then made a comment about how if he was here in person that wouldn’t faze him or stop him from playing with me in the slightest. 😳

I’ve grown up in a brown household where not only is sex taboo to talk about, but periods are even considered so gross that women are sometimes shunned from dinner tables for having them. So I was both shocked and flattered to know it didn’t bother him at all. But since I grew up that way, it’s hard for me to think of anyone going near that area, that time of moth, without it feeling a little uncomfortable and weird.

My question is: Where do you stand on this, and what are some ways I could embrace this? It’s actually a huge turn on for me that someone wouldn’t see that as a barrier of any sort. And now I’m wondering what would happen if I did manage to find a real life partner with the same open-minded attitude. Thanks!

What a great, and important question. 

Periods are a pain in the arse. And that’s coming from someone whose full extent of impact is that I’ll get a blow job or fuck my wife in the arse when she’s on hers. I know, male fucking entitlement right.

So, as to your question, there are a few things I can suggest. Firstly is the shower is your best friend here. Practically, if we do have period sex that’s almost always where we have it. Because it’s perfect. You get those cute pink trails down her legs as I fuck her and finally it mixes with cum. Yummy, almost artistic. 

So that’s where I’d start, edging and finger fucking yourself in the shower. Personally, I’d also try the bath, I have no qualms about sitting in hot, soapy bloody water but I’m sure others will.

Another twist lots of denial sluts enjoy is actually using it as a time you can’t touch. Or even only being allowed anal play during your period is an idea that many I’ve suggested it to find to be arousing. That last day of it, where you have to do a wipe test and if there’s the slightest hint of pink you’ve got another day’s no touch. Oh what erotic torture it is.

Really though, just kicking the stupid idea that it’s some kind of curse out of your headspace and being completely matter of fact about it will be an amazing breakthrough. Some find edging helps with their periods, others find emotionally and physically it makes it harder. Figure out what’s the case for you. Whichever is okay.

It is also my solemn duty to tell you about Moon Cups and their ilk because EVERY SINGLE TIME I post about periods I get lots of messages telling me I forgot. My wife has used them for years and for many they’re quite a gamechanger, so check them out.

I hope that helps,


PS Don’t wait for some sexting dude to tell you to finger yourself. Get horny, get some lube and get exploring. It’s your body, Have fun figuring out what it likes.

Hey James! So your blog has brought a new kink to light in my life. I’ve been trying to find a way to tell my husband, also named James, that I want to experiment with denial, but the letter you have written aren’t quite right for me. Also, last night we had sex and he’s been pulling out lately because I’m trying not to get pregnant and I don’t trust my BC, so when he came he pulled out, but I was right on the edge and its been driving me crazy allllll day! Sincerely dripping, Nat

Hey Nat,

So, you’ve kind of supplied your own answer here.

‘James honey, I need to tell you something. When you pulled out last night I was just about to cum. I was so close, but then I didn’t and… god maybe I shouldn’t tell you this but, it’s made me SO horny today. Seriously, all day, it’s like I’m on a high. Fuck, the things I want to do to you. I looked it up, it’s called edging or orgasms denial Apparently it’s really popular. Do you think, maybe, we should see what happens if you keep not letting me cum?’

Finish it off by begging to go down on him. And just go that bit further than you normally would. Swallow when you would have spat, get your tits out, edge yourself as you do it, suck his balls. Whatever. Just plant in his head, ‘Holy fuck, if Nat’s like this after a day what’s she going to be like after a week?’

That’ll work. Although, guys are idiots. Never underestimate this. It may take a few repeats of this until he links not letting you cum to how horny and wild you get. But give him time, he’ll get there.

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i just wanted to let you know that thanks to your blog I’m trying edging for the first time after being interested for a while. I’m on day 3 and I woke up from a sex dream with my panties soaked through. gonna try to do 5 edges today instead of the 3 I did the last two days and see if I can keep this up for 2 weeks because I’m loving it so far!

That is awesome! I’m so proud of you.

Sleep naked.

It’s sexy, good for you and saves on the washing.