I love your blog! It keeps me company late at night ;) I just never manage to edge though. The thing is, self denial doesn’t really work for me. My whole kink centers around being told what to do, being made to do stuff and being controlled. Edging and denial factors heavily there, but self denial doesn’t. I don’t have a significant other currently, so no help from there. What do you recommend? Is there maybe some good audio I could listen to, that would give me that “controlled” feeling?

I honestly think you’re fine! If self denial genuinely doesn’t work for you then don’t stress about it! It’s perfectly acceptable to get off on the idea and not actually do it.

I genuinely think there is a level of arousal and intensity that you’ll find through denial, self or otherwise, that you just can’t access if you keep on orgasming though. That whole ‘denial high’ thing is only possible through actually doing it for a while.

So I’m always going to encourage you to keep trying, as long as you’re having fun doing it! See if you can manage a whole day with just edges. If you like that, try three (that’s the sweetspot).

But if you do try, or even if you fail at the first hurdle, don’t worry about it! it’s perfectly good to just get off to the fantasy, it’s not the best, denial is best, but it’s damn good, so have fun and quit worrying about it!