Tag : female-orgasm-denial

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The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon…
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Apparently, this remarkable poem became widely known a couple of decades back but it’s the first time I’ve read it, and I love it.

When someone asks me to help them explore edging and orgasm denial it’s often the start of an extraordinary journey, one which ends up opening them up to address all kinds of things in their lives, both things they want to be, and things they want to leave behind. Edging, and the openness and power it brings, often make that journey easier. 

As much fun as falling down the rabbit hole is what’s most exciting is it can lead you to Wonderland. There’s nothing I love more than to help someone find their Wonderland.

Consider yourself invited.



Like & reblog..


Let’s play

Okay, so Master has decided that

For every reblog of this post I get an extra day of orgasm denial.

For every comment I must slap wherever the comment instructs, if it doesn’t say, I slap my pussy.

For every like this post gets I must tease myself for an hour. (This means feather light and slowly touching my clit, I can play with my tits, and no pentration) if that day isn’t a denial day, I may orgasm once that day by master.

If this goes on long enough and it amuses master, he may start getting me to write a denial diary

Okay, I haven’t reblogged one of these in a while. Let’s see what happens…

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Aren’t they lovely, princess. Happy birthday! Each one is an orgasm you can have this year. A gift from me.
Oh and baby, here’s my other gift. Yes, just a little pin.
I want you to pop every orgasm you don’t want to have. But edge first, baby. I want you watch you thinking about how much you like to please me before you start popping them.
Good girl.

Hey James! So I have a really weird question. I’m really into the idea of denial and usually edge myself, but I want to try it with my boyfriend. The problem is I can’t orgasm. I can do it myself, but I’ve never been able to during activities with someone else. I’ve been faking it forever. So, my question is, is it even denial if I don’t/can’t orgasm anyway? Because, I feel like I could never have the full experience :/

Hi anon,

You’ve got a few options here. If you can cum by yourself but just not with a partner then it’s usually a case of practising being more relaxed with them, communicating about where you’re at, and teaching them what works for you.

Being more relaxed can be as simple as having a drink or two before you get it on, alcohol is an extraordinarily effective emotional lubricant (not more than that though, you barely want to be tipsy, let alone anything more). It is also of course about just feeling comfortable, sexy and horny – all of which can be helped by edging yourself beforehand. 

In terms of communication the simplest one is ‘playing a game’ where they have to try to keep you on the edge. well that’s what you tell them anyway. It’s actually about them learning to make you cum, but we don’t tell them that. Use a scale of one to ten where ten is cumming, and have them rub, lick and vibe you as you tell them what number you’re on. The game is to keep you at nine for as long as possible, but also, to finally cum, for now at least.

And then in terms of teaching, it’s about showing them what works, using their hands, mouths, and toys. Do NOT expect to cum from being fucked. Only about 30% of women ever do, and if you make that your goal right now you’ll be disappointed. Get cumming from the above sorted and then you can move onto that.

HAVING SAID ALL THAT, you might decide you prefer the fucked up denial slut path. Because it absolutely IS edging and denial if you can’t cum anyway. You’ll have just the same impact of getting horny and needy and all the benefits we know flow from that.

Just you make it a determined choice. You fake it, on purpose, because it drives you so crazy to be pretending to cum just so you are denied. You channel your lust and desperation into their orgasms. You choose to be denied.

And not just by them. No more cumming by your own hand either.

Make it a choice, be denied. And watch what happens…

I know which I’d pick for you.


hi James, quick question. do you think aiming for a month is too much for my first time edging? should i cut it down to a week? also, im edging myself, any tips on how to get myself to stop just on the edge? I’ve tried edging a few times but always mess up and allow mysterious an orgasm. thanks!

Yeah, it’s a bit overambitious. The trouble is you’re setting yourself up for failure whereas you want your first forays into the wonderful world of edging to be a success.

A week is even a stretch. I’d normally suggest you build up by doing it overnight, as waking up super horny and edging again is great fun. And maybe extend that to a third day, but then celebrate it, and cum, hard!

THEN go again and push beyond those three days, that’s where some really interesting things start to kick in like the ‘denial high’ and well, a growing addiction to the joys of edging. If you can do that for a week, I’m so proud of you. Cum, again, it’ll most likely feel insanely good.

Then you might want to try for a month. But people, this isn’t a competition. Well okay sometimes it is and that’s hot as fuck but MOST of the time this is about you finding what works for you. And that might be just edging during the day and cumming in the evening, it might be Sunday is CumDay, or it might be a whole year of nothing but wet desperation.

And for many, it’s all those and more. Variety is the spice of edging.

Let us know how you get on.