Hey there, I have never been able to have an orgasm during sex before, but rather feel satisfied with the act itself. Ironically, all I would care about when I would play with myself was getting a bunch of orgasms in. Now, having tried denial(although I haven’t been able to edge recently really[I keep accidentally cumming]), it is awesome and makes me playtime more fun and difficult. Even talked to my boy about it and we may be adding it to our play. Love your blog!

Thank you! It’s definitely worth adding in, and can I suggest if he’s up for it, try it for BOTH of you, even if it’s playing in the morning, neither of you cumming, and then delighting in how horny and attentive it makes you both all day until you both, or he, cums that evening. It’ll win him over AND give him a better understanding of WHY this crazy idea is so hot.

Not cumming during sex is very common, if we’re talking about the actual fucking part. Only about 30% of women report that being enough to make them cum, and yes, despite not cumming it can be very satisfying. 

BUT, if we put aside the denial part for a bit and see ‘sex’ as more than just the penetration, then you should be cumming as part of the experience. My personal rule when we aren’t practising denial, is pretty much always ‘she cums first’. My wife will have usually had 2-3 orgasms before I even put my cock in her. It makes her happy, horny and feeling very connected, and also means she’s more likely to actually cum from being fucked (as long as you’ve kept up the pace and don’t let her slip off the ‘orgasmic plateau’ as it’s called.

So as well as exploring denial, which obviously is great, I do encourage you both to try that too, Whether it’s with his fingers, mouth or toys, try you cumming first when you’re making love, it’s as positive experience as bringing edging and denial to the bedroom in my opinion. 

James