Yesterday was intense…I don’t even know where to start writing it up. But I know it’ll help me process things happening in my denial. And since a big thing happened…well, read until the end 😉
I love mindfucks in denial, they’re one of the hottest things in that kink for me. But to have it happen to myself was so overwhelming it made me cry. A deep ugly cry, until Sir reassured me it was okay. He was proud of how I’d done. Even if I was undoubtedly an emotional mess, those words grounded me again. They silenced all the doubt in my head in an instant and made it all okay. I’d be okay.
To start from the beginning, I’d made him proud and earned an orgasm!
It always makes me happy to know I did well. Even if it’s just to hear ‘good girl’. It makes me grin at my phone and eager to push myself. To do even better.
I spend all day thinking about how amazing finally cumming would be like. I soaked my panties in a matter of hours. I’d get an orgasm. Scratch that, I apparently deserved as many as I liked?! Why are you being so nice? For a moment I wondered what he had up his sleeve. If the number of times I came would be weeks in denial, or similar.
But no, after a hell lot of teasing and edging, he said I did well and was allowed to cum. Hard. And I did. I hit such a hard edge, I’m still not sure what happened…but the moment I hit the edge, I pulled back my hand and ruined the orgasm. Much to his delight. It made me cry, I couldn’t believe it. My own body doesn’t respond to my wishes anymore. Instead, it does what he wants.
I always enjoyed mindfucks in orgasm denial, but to have it happen to myself was unbelievable. It made me cry, scream and horny all over again. It made me realize my orgasms really don’t belong to myself anymore and it makes me squirm. Both with excitement and nervousness. God knows what else he can trick my body into doing…
But I know whatever it will be, it’s something that’ll please him. And that’s all that matters and makes me happy.
