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Hi James, I have a question about ruins, and since you are my biggest source when it comes to these subjects, I’ll try to ask you. I can’t make ruins work. When I ruin an orgasm it’s just as bad as one can expect, the problem however is that I don’t seem to be able to go back to that horny state, at all. Sometimes it takes me a day or two to get back even the smallest feeling of lust, and thats quite shitty. Do I ruin to often? Or are ruins just not my thing? I can’t be the only one can I?

Okay, well it may be, as you say, ruins just aren’t your thing. It’s worth […]

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I wanted to ask about ruined orgasms. I wasn’t sure what made it different than edging. And then Saturday, when I was supposed to be edging, I slipped over. I froze and tried to pull back my orgasm, but it was too late. I get it now. The completely unsatisfying “release” (I don’t think it can really even be called release) was so not even worth the punishment, and certainly not worth starting over at day one of no orgasms. Thank you for your blog, it’s very educational (and arousing).

You’re so welcome, Belle. And that was just an accidental ruin. You can do them […]

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I just wanted to thank you for running this blog. It helped me a lot with building self-acceptance, as well as broadening my sexual horizons. And, due to experimenting with denial (which I first encountered here) for a few weeks, today I’ve been able to have first vaginal orgasm in my life. I hope you will continue to bring me inspiration with every new post :) (sorry for my english, it’s not my native language)

That is fabulous, well done you!!! (English is great btw).  You’re lucky you discovered vaginal […]