Could you or your followers explain ruined orgasms? My partner and I are beginning to get into denial and I’d like her to try ruining her orgasm for me, but neither of us is too sure how that works. Does she need to just stop once she feels herself beginning to cum or is there something else to it?

Hi anon,

That’s the basic principle, yes. A ruined orgasm is one where you take yourself past the point of no return (PONR) but as soon as you do you stop all stimulation, and get the complete mindfuck of feeling what should have been amazing just explode into nothingness. Kinda like a reverse big bang.

The experience can be very variable, both for the same person and between what happens with different people. Some can stop like that and it still feel pretty good, others, it’s like the bottom falls out of their world.

The consistent benefits are

• It is wonderfully masochistic without having to inflict pain, instead it’s the taking of pleasure, and it’s really fucking hot indulging sadistic and masochistic desires with this
• You can make it worse by repeating them, three or four ruins will reduce most people to a quivering blob of unsated desire
• the biggest benefit though, is that for many, it does nothing to satisfy your sex drive. It’ll wipe it out for 20-30 minutes, but after that, it’ll hit you again like a train, sometimes even worse than before. Fuck yeah

There’s two key ways to add to it, one is adding penetration – it’s far more impactful for most women to not only stop stimulating their clit but also to have a toy or cock pulled out of them just as they begin to climax. Your pussy literally clenches on nothing and it makes it much worse.

The other is to build up to it, I love getting women to ‘practise’ ruining, doing a countdown when they are close, making them edge and fuck then pull out, not when they’ve gone past the PONR but just before it, so they get all amped up for it, it extends the torment beautifully.

Lastly, my ongoing mindfuck with ruins, is making her choose them. If she’s earned an orgasm, just as she’s about to have it, put the choice before her, ‘I could let you cum baby, but you know, if you’d prefer it, I could ruin it? What would you like, princess?’

So, fucking, evil.

A common goal when teaching someone denial, long term, is to take a woman to the point where a ruin is all she hopes for. That her orgasms are so rare that when she can’t take being denied any more, she begs for a ruin by default. It’s so fucked up, and so hot.

‘A cum is a ruin and a ruin is a cum’ is a mantra she might be repeating over and over, just to fuck with her. Only deep dark masochists need apply for that one!