Tag : denial

First time accidental denial

I had never ever tried denial, I had only read about it on your blog and I was very curious but never got around to doing it. Today while I was masturbating, I was talking to a guy and I couldn’t orgasm. I could feel it, it was RIGHT THERE. But I couldn’t orgasm and the feeling was so overwhelming I couldn’t get up for 5 minutes. It’s been half an hour since this happened and I’m still reeling from that sensation. And I’m dripping wet, but too sensitive to touch and this feeling is maddening

Maddening, and oh so addictive.

It seems like you’re a natural. Have you been listening to some audios, if not, you should…

I’d start with this


Then maybe this


Oh and then definitely this old classic.


Let’s see how you’re doing by the end of the weekend.

Good girl(s don’t cum)

1 Year Denial Anniversary.


1 year. One full year of denial. It sounds so crazy and so surreal, but what’s actually crazy is that it is, in fact entirely and completely real. Today marks one full year without a single orgasm. 

In hindsight it looks so easy, it feels so smooth. But then i remember all of the times i’ve cried over the idea of an orgasm, and all of the times i squirmed and screamed wishing i could just let myself go over the edge. I think of all of the times i was so close, so close i could almost feel it, but instead i close my legs and feel my whole body ache for a single second of pleasure. 

It’s been this intensely paradoxical journey of extreme ups and downs, of extreme pleasure and extreme desperation. I can’t count all of the times i’ve been on the edge. I can’t count all of the times i’ve been afraid to even touch myself in fear of not being able to control myself. 

I can’t forget the days where i had to edge with a paintbrush, the days where i was so sensitive i could cry from just the seam of my jeans pressing against me. 

I can’t forget the days where i felt like i would explode if i didn’t get to the edge right there and then. I can’t forget how insane i would go for just one edge. Just one. 

I can’t forget the days i spent on no touch and i can’t forget the days i spent edging my tiny defenseless body over and over again, not willing to let go of the finite amount of pleasure my body could possibly feel. 

But here i am, one full year later, denied and dripping. Fulfilled in so many ways, and so empty in others. I can’t think of all of the days i’ve spent edging my brains out and wondering when i’ll finally cum. 

To the naive girl who started this journey one year ago, i’d like to say, happy anniversary. You had no idea what you had coming.  

Happy Anniversary indeed.

Sounds to me like it’s just the beginning…

Suffering for pleasure




Some days are just the worst. The days that my arousal gets the better of me and makes me so fucking needy. Those are the days I suffer. But it’s suffering I greatly enjoy.

Let me put it this way. My brain rarely ever shuts down. I’m constantly overthinking, second-guessing and self-doubting. I’m very critical of everything I do and say. And any day like that is suffering. True suffering.

So I’m glad to have denial. I’m blessed it can turn my brain off for just a second and that I can be turned into this pathetic, dripping, desperate fucktoy with just a few words. The right words that allow me to stop thinking and just focus on feeling for once. Because that’s something I’ve been told over and over again. I think too much. I feel too little.

But denial is all feeling for me. Feeling desperate. Feeling needy. Feeling safe. It fills my head with all these feelings of arousal and excitement that there’s no place for anything else.

And God, am I happy on a day like this to be a denialslut.


I haven’t realized until now that since im doing denial, instead of overthinking everything my thoughts are revolving much more about having something between my legs. 🙈

Exactly this 🙂 Or on how I can get something between my legs.

Beautifully expressed as usual by Lizzy.

That ability to ‘switch your brain off’ is such an important part of denial for so many.


Juno Journal, Day 10

Yesterday I had the most WILD day of denial I’ve ever experienced, I swear to god!!

I’ve done various shorter periods of denial, always with the caveat that I just ruin an accidental orgasms. That way it reduces the stress on myself to be perfect, but when you’re not trying your hardest to avoid ruins, they happen a lot, lol! And I find arousal builds so much slower when I have ruins early in my denial period (later it tends to make it worse, but even with a ruin, I still have to wait a while before it comes back.)

Anyway, I’m pushing myself to ruin as little as possible for Juno, and it’s been amazing! I’ve gotten bolder and bolder with exhibitionist side, figuring out sneaky ways to edge in my office.

I work for a magazine and sometimes have to read review copies of books, so yesterday I put on headphones while “reading” a book 😉😉 and put on dirty talking audios. I also suck my 7 inch gspot vibe in my purse and found a position in my seat where I could sit with it inside, stuffing and filling me PERFECTLY, it was just divine having my pussy filled to the max sitting at my desk, clenching involuntarily against it whenever I moved just right.

I worked the afternoon away like that, stuffed and happy, until the office started to empty out. Then I turned the vibrator so it was upside down so it would hit me in the same spots as doggy style, and rocked my hips in my chair, rubbing it against my gspot and bottoming out. I almost shoved the entire thing inside me, including the handle! I was practically whimpering by then, and when I reached into my leggings, I could feel my wetness spread all over my thighs and dripping back over my ass.

After walking around the office (still stuffed 😈😈🍆) to make sure I was alone, I went back to my office where I worked the rabbit part of the gspot vibe in between my cheeks so it rested on my hole (which was twitching) and turned on both settings of vibration.

After 45 minutes edging like that, I was desperate for more anal stimulation (my gspot was as sensitive as my clit at this point) because I was too desperate to stop for a break … I just needed more, I had to have more

I went to the private bathroom with my anal plug I’d also brought in my purse, and worked it in using the juices that dripped back there (there was more than enough, I was soaked!!!). I’m telling you when that plug slid home my eyes crossed, it felt so good, I edged one last time with the vibe in to, and fucking squinted! At that point I just wanted to get on my hands and knees and work the plug in and out of my hole

By this time, I had to get home, but I left the plug in, and just walking to the car, I could feel myself dripping, my legs slipping together and soaking my leggings. I was so desperate and worked up, I knew i had to ruin or I’d never be able to concentrate on cooking dinner. But i made a rule that if they’re on purpose, I’m only allowed anal ruins, So I sat at my vanity and rocked my princess plug so it rubbed exactly the right spots, and my brain completely melted

I rocked back and forth, faster and faster, completely driven by animalistic need, feeling like I was getting closer and closer, but not close enough! It was a frustrating, I started whining and calling out, begging, panting… it was insane, I wanted it to go on forever

the sound of myself panting and whimpering, plus adding in an edging mantra (I’m your pretty little whore 😶😶😶it’s my favorite), I started tipping over the edge and froze stock still while the contractions rippled through me

I was fucking destroyed, I wanted to cry!!! My pussy was still begging for more, even with the ruin, but I had to get some stuff done… anyway, that’s the story of how I figured out how to get fucked all afternoon and had my second ever anal ruin! I love Juno!

That’s all I have to say about that.

Day 14 – my inner slut comes out


My day started boring. My morning edge becomes routin and gets me really wet almost instantly. For me, it’s a good way to start the day, but I maybe need to spice things up… 

Anyways I did in total skyped 6 hours for uni projects – FML. It better get’s an straight A.

After the first skype session my mind (or my pussy) wanted to doll me up. So, I did makeup (usually don’t), wearing heels, a skirt and a tight top to go grocery shopping. Actually, I was showing off myself. I bend off a few times, so you could see my (wet) panty … I even smiled to some men. That’s so not me! Later back home I realized what I have done … I was flirting with strangers. I want attention, badly. I’m getting needy, cock-hungryy (or maybe only orgasm-hungry). Am I getting slutty?! I don’t know. I just can say that if someone would have talked to me, I would blow him off … at least I think that. Lucky it hasn’t happen. 

Later on I had the other skype call and at the end I had to apply toothpaste on my clit during the call aand I wasn’t allowed to touch. That was a hard one. The burn got intense … 

Gonna edge again later on – but I’m not sure how yet. I’m tired and kinda only wanna sleep. Right now, it doesn’t feel like I need to edge … the semester will end soon and I think that’s pure stress. Normally, I don’t do anything at time which has to do with sex. No masturbating, no sex. Nothing. Luckily it’s just a period. So, yeah that’s for today. I know it’s not fancy at all… Will be better next week, I promise! 

I love the impact it’s having on you, well done for trying all that, it’s fabulous!

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I tried orgasm denial with my girlfriend but she just slapped me and got irritated….lesson learned, til next time I’ll ask her about it before I try 😄😄😄

Safe, sane and CONSENSUAL you muppet. It can’t be consensual unless you’ve talked about it…

It’s not that hard either, just make it a game. Do it together. ‘Let’s see how long we can go without cumming, I bet you break first’ boom, job done, made it fun, no slaps.


JuNO 2018 journal 3

Omg my god. So the 7th was my turning point.

That night I listened to a bunch of hypnosis, two of them being cal’s curse and constant aching need curse, because I like to be mean to myself. So for those that don’t know cal’s curse makes it so I can’t cum with out permission I automatically ruin any and all orgasm I have. And constant aching need curse, curses me to constantly achingly need sex so I am super fucking horny.

I was so horny I woke up in the middle of the night and edged a bunch and even ruined twice, they were the worst.

And then the best thing happen on the 8th. A fellow denial slut who is also under cal’s curse came to me begging to cum. And you know what Tumblr? I am a mean mean bitch because I said no. And it made me so horny when she begged so much and called me mean. It got me so hot that then it was my turn to beg to cum, nothing made me so horny as when she turn that no right back on me. So for the past two days we have been telling each no and taunting each other.

I spent most of Friday edging so much that I broke my vibrator wand, it kind of works if I hold it just right – this has lead to another 2 ruins.

Today (9th) has been a little calmer, I am still super fucking horny and my denial buddy has been awesome.

Edges: 29

Orgasms:10 (remember this includes ruins)

I think now I need to calm down more and work on making edge part of my every life. And maybe pull back on even ruined orgasms.

Loving the hot, mean, cooperation!

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Research JuNo


As mentioned before I want to collect Data from this month (at least of mine) to get some information about what denial does to me. Right now my table looks like this:

I will track the days and the edges. Also how hard it was for me to stop and my wanting to cum. I will try to get this into a number from 0 to 3. Where 0 is the lowest and 3 the highest. But maybe I have to adjust the range…  Further I want to collect where and which toy Im using.

I’m loving the scientific approach!


Day One of JuNO 2018 for me!

I technically started last night, and probably edged for waaaay too long before going to bed. But I woke up at my regular time this morning and just lay in bed for a minute. Without even realizing it, I began thinking of stuff. And a few minutes later (I hope it was a few minutes later) I realized I was humping. I guess it wasn’t really humping cus it wasn’t against anything, but I was just, like, jerking my hips into the air. And I hadn’t even noticed i was doing it! I was like “…..What?” And I slipped my hand down and felt, and I was completely wet! No touching, no tumblr; just laying in bed and thinking for a minute got me soaked. I heard someone say that when you do continuous denial, you’re able to get wet easier. If this is the first day, I don’t know how I’m gonna last this month. But I’m excited 😝💖

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My Sir started rolling two D6 after each of my orgasms and they decide how many weeks I have to edge with no release. He rolled a 10 so my next cum would be July 3rd,but I’ve earned a few days off here and there so my next orgasm (as of right now) will be June 23rd. He also rolls a D4 each time to decide how many edges a day I get. Right now that number is 3 and im on no touch after theyre done. For juNO ive started sleeping with a dildo in my pussy to keep me horny all night long. Happy juNO.

Oh, Denial for RPG players, woo hoo!

Bow down before the Random Number Generator

Actually using chance for denial is really great, and this is a lovely example of how to do it, so thanks OP!