How many blog entires am I going to write about USPS? I tried not to get my hopes up. I knew that it probably wasn’t going to get here today…Yet I spent all day thinking about permission to use that vibe. The devastation when I opened that mailbox and saw nothing but some junk. Oh my god. I went back up to my room and just started sobbing. I made the mistake of going back and checking how long I’ve been denied. 20 days you’ve kept me denied. If you want to get technical, I really haven’t cum in 23-25 days, but I guess I should have been smart enough to cum over and over again before I sent that email. AND TOMORROW IS FUCKING SUNDAY. T_T
I think I’m slowly slipping from burning rage to extreme sadness. I spent all day thinking about how great that vibe would feel.. How cute those stockings would look, how full I would feel with that dildo. Finally being able to come. But no, USPS is full of dream-crushers.
A weird ‘thing’ happened though. When I realized I wasn’t going to be cumming for at LEAST another 2 days (Let’s be real, it’s probably more like 5) I just wanted you to be really mean to me. Tell me to spank myself, whip myself again, scrub my kitchen with a toothbrush. Edge myself over and over again until I’m screaming and begging to stop, then still hear you say, ‘no.’ Forced to wear those bow clips until tears start falling onto my bare chest. You get the idea. I don’t even want to question it. I don’t want to ask what I’m doing with ___ or how long I have to wear ___. I just want to shut up and take it, like a good girl. Weird. New feeling. Not sure why it’s brought on by feeling so frustrated…But it is. I feel like it’s worth noting that I REALLY want to lash out in order to be punished, but since you told me not to, I won’t.
I wish there was more to add here, but there really isn’t. I definitely crossed a line from horny and excited to just frustrated. I’m usually impatient waiting for packages (Let’s be honest…Who isn’t..) but the fact that I can’t cum until it gets here. Fucking torture. In a grand sense, I suppose it’s my fault for living in the US. Also, I’m pretty sure if I had never bought anything (and therefore would not be waiting for anything) you would have let me cum by now. So, fuck me.
Oh wait, you were going to let me cum, but I said deny me! Ah, I forgot about that. What an idiot, lol.
Alright, time to go sulk and expose far too much of myself to Omegle boys. Oh, yeah, I didn’t practice any piano today, and I’m not going to tomorrow either. I hate playing when people are here. I feel like it’s an annoyance, so I avoid it. 😀
UPDATE: I just can’t wait until tomorrow to write about this. I actually got on Omegle and did it. I didn’t really think I was going to, BUT I DID. Story time. So, I made sure that my face wasn’t in frame, and my room is so dark that all you could see was well…Me. Skipped through a lot (I’ve never seen so many girls on that site) until I finally found some normal looking guy. Conversation started out pretty normally. I was EXTREMELY nervous, but I guess some guys find that cute and endearing. After about 15 minutes of talking, he asked to see my face, so I told him it was tits or nothing. He very kindly asked me to unzip my jacket. I did, and once I did, I swear to god, it was like I was a different person. Of course he was already informed that he was at no point to touch his cock, so there he was just smiling. After a while, I stood up…He seemed to REALLY like my ass. I told him to take his cock out, once again reminding him that he was NOT to jerk off at any point. Rock hard. (What a boost to the self esteem, eh?) He wasn’t really giving in, so I had to vamp it up a little and really start playing with myself. Left my panties on, though. After another 5 minutes of this, he tried to touch his dick, I ‘yelled’ at him, and about 45 seconds later he gave in and left. IT WAS SO SATISFYING. The entire thing was so strange, though. I felt so confident, as opposed to my general shyness. I mean, this was my first time doing ANYTHING like this with a stranger, and having someone comply so quickly and easily really changed my attitude. I MAY have praised him for behaving so well…Then made a comment about how badly he wanted to touch his cock. All of the things you say to me really became useful. The entire thing was just so hot…A total stranger. And just in case this should ever come up, it’s easier to cam with them because I don’t care what they think about me…I care what you think about me. So yeah. Fun stuff. Taking a break – Maybe I’ll try it again later. Thanks for the idea. 🙂