Does sex addiction really exist?

HOLY CRAP – my beloved BBC just accurately described and defined ‘edging’.

We are going MAINSTREAM, my lovely denial sluts. A BBC radio programme on tonight leads with an example of female orgasm denial – wow!

“It starts slowly. You get aroused. And then you just watch and simultaneously you switch on your equipment. All your senses are stimulated, watching something so exciting. Your mind goes elsewhere. You know it’s not going to stop until you press the button. You know you’re in control of it, of every aspect of your pleasure, and it gives you orgasms you just can’t have with another human being – and certainly not a man.

"The whole process of masturbating and coming will take you a maximum of five to 10 minutes but you pull back because you don’t want to exit this state you are in, which is basically like being intoxicated.”

Okay, yes it’s an article about sex addiction – but this is important stuff. As I often say, if edging or denial, or any kink, is being detrimental to your friendships, studies or works then you need to reevaluate. 

The great thing about edging, and why it’s not so easily an ‘addiction’ is there is rarely any kind of withdrawal when you end it, unlike most addictions. In fact, it tends to end with an orgasm and so you never really get into the withdrawal element key to so many true addictions. 

Nonetheless, it’s always good to mix things up, take a break from things, and just make sure it’s a healthy, balanced part of your sex life. We want healthy, happy, sex positive mental states here people, right?

My experience is that it’s almost always a positive thing if done in moderation, building self-confidence, sexual confidence and well being. 

But if you’re struggling with it and especially with feelings of shame over it then we can help with that too. So message me for advice, or simply try taking a break, see how it works for you. We’re always here when you want to try it again. There’s lots of helpful links on the BBC page too!

James