Alrighty then. I’ve been pondering about this one for a while now. I’m just gonna blurp it out. I don’t get humiliated easy. Feeling ashamed is not a thing in my kinklife. I don’t mind being called a bitch, slut, whore, fucktoy, cocksleeve, dripping set of holes, depraved wonton insecure stupid excuse for a human being. If I play with you, sure, call me all that. I don’t give a fuck. Or even better, I’m gonna enjoy it. 😛 I don’t feel weird when I crawl, bend over, have to expose myself, beg, watch other women around my playpartner or share my desperateness online (obviously).
But denial made me do something I did find deeply humiliating. A while back I wanted permission for my orgasm so badly I asked for it. I figured I’d just get a “No”. But I didn’t. I got a dare. One out of my comfort zone. And… well… I did it.
It wasn’t easy either! I was so tormented about whether to do it or not. I was edging the entire time, going back and forth in my mind. And when I finally decided to do it… I couldnt! It took me even more time to actually be able to come.
Straight after I came I was so distraught. Whyyy? Why did I do this thing? I had a tiny panic, just with my hands in my head, unable to believe I did this. So ashamed. So wonderfully challenged and mindboggled, blushing and horny… so so horny. It’s not the fact that I asked for permission. It’s the thing I did to get it.
If I wanted I could look back at the thing I did. But I don’t want to. The kink it’s connected to is something I’m getting into more bit by bit. It has been involved with quite some edges and a handful of orgasms since. But besides the person who made me do the thing, no one really knows. It’s mine. It’s a secret. Sssh.
What isn’t a secret, or not anymore now, is that humiliation is a lovely kink I finally got to explore. ^^ Huzzah! 😛
This is great, I love the mind fuck that’s going on here, and that WLB was brave enough to try it. You know what, you can always play things safe, but if you’re doing this with someone you trust, and the thought of doing something humiliating or degrading even remotely excites you – talk to them about it, and try getting them to interrogate you while you’re right on the edge…get them to ask you what you secretly imagine being made to do. And then, try it!
