So I’ve managed to keep edging for the entire length of January, no matter how shit it was and last week when I had the time to slow down it finally hit me how horny and desperate I was. I contemplated all week about sending James a message, wanting a ruin but also not wanting to bother him.

On Friday evening, I finally caved and shot him a message. Of course I should’ve known there’d be consequences. Not that I mind those really, he’s quite good at fucking with my mind. Now if I wanted a ruin, I’d have to use my own posts against myself. I had to pick one caption I wrote that aroused me the most and that would be one of the three that would serve as inspiration for my tasks so I could earn my ruin.

I edged scrolling through my blog until I found the one I’m always hesitant about admitting I’m into. Bimbofication. And I realized when I was edging to it why it got to me so. It’s the humiliation that I feel is paired with that kink. I feel easily humiliated but I love it so much. I think it links a lot of my kinks together.

So my first task was three hours of edging listening to bimbo hypnosis audio files. Something I did first thing Saturday morning. I dolled myself up and got started. It was so much fun to listen to. Not having to worry about a thing but to edge. Lots of the audios were about being good blowjob dolls and since I was craving cock already it got me excited enough to edge along, trying to deepthroat one of my smaller toys. I’m still not pretty good at it and should train more often but it was wonderful for my mindset.

Next task was a little more tricky, from a post James picked. One I always find hot writing but never have the guts to try. I had to this time. The girl edging with roommates around. Now, I don’t have roommates. I still live with my family. So I snuck off to the bathroom to give myself three hard edges fucking myself while straddling the tub. I had to bite back my moans, careful of the sounds I made, careful of who was close but it was so hot and had me trembling. I was aching for an actual orgasm so bad and so desperate when I had to remove the toy after my third edge. Even more because I knew what my third task was.

All the times I write about girls being denied to cum until they’ve reached a goal. Now he made me into one. I couldn’t ruin until I’d taken that entire toy balls deep into my ass. Now this dildo is insane. I’ve wanted to try anal with it but it is super girthy. But I wanted to ruin so bad. So I warmed myself up and with plenty of lube I worked up until I could take the tip of the toy. Working it inside of me took quite some time and my pussy was so empty and dripping from being denied. I’d so hoped to clench around that toy, not realizing I would, but it would be in my ass instead. Now what happens next makes me so so frustrated. I was so aroused, humiliated and pleased with myself that it only took two strokes. Two strokes! I didn’t even get to touch my clit properly.

I worked so hard to get that toy inside of me and feeling it move inside of my ass pushed me over the edge. I stopped moving and felt my orgasm die down in horrible clenches around the thick toy and it wasn’t long before it started to become unbearable and I had to remove it. I was still so horny. I wanted another ruin. A full orgasm. I had my pleasure and I’m so desperate. Again.


Good girl, Lizzy.
It’s only going to get worse.

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