Tag : instructions

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The body pulled up into her as she crouched the way he instructed. It only pulled the toy deeper into her, she could feel it, nestled right against that most delicate, sensitive spot inside.
Oh fuck, this was going to be crazy.
‘No moving, hands stay where they are, legs stay spread. Not a word unless it’s yellow or red, is that clear my love?’
She nodded, heart pounding.
And he pulled out his phone, and stroked his thumb up the screen, and it began, low, deep vibrations, inside her. She had to bite her lip to stay quiet.
‘That’s level one, of ten, my love. This is going to be so much fun!’

Hi James. I’m pretty new to edging and decided to set myself a challenge. I go back to uni next weekend and I thought I would try to edge until then and if I manage to not come, I can play with my vibrator and come on Sunday. How many times do you think I should edge until then?

That’s a great goal. A week’s a pretty long time if you’re just starting out but it sounds like you’ve tried some before. So yes, let’s DO THIS.

Three edges a day please, one before you get up, one during the day, and one last thing at night – so the usual pattern.

If you go over by accident you ruin the orgasm AND you have to make up ALL the edges you’ve done to that point before you’re allowed to cum.

Let us know how you get on!


I wanted to ask because I didn’t know you could ruin an orgasm for a girl, i mean i’ve seen it done to guys. How does one do that exactly to girls?? P.S. Major kudos to your blog. inspired me to do 20 days of denial with my Sir, and he’s enjoying it


What a great question, and thanks so much for the encouragement! 

So, ruined orgasms… they are a really interesting tool in our denial box of tricks. With guys they are very easy to manage, and the results are much more predictable (he starts ejaculating, you stop rubbing, he dies inside…) WIth girls it’s MUCH less predictable. It can sometimes have little effect and be nearly as good as a normal orgasm, other times it can leave you emotionally distraught and in tears, and it can also make you want to kill someone, which is quite amusing. This doesn’t only vary from woman to woman, but from time to time, but I’ll describe how I recommend doing it from a denial perspective, i.e. to not let you stop being horny but to give you just a taste of an orgasm but none of the fulfilment of it. 

How to ruin a woman’s orgasm

Ideally you want to be ruining a vaginal or g-spot orgasm, as it’s a far more impactful, as you’ll see. If you can’t cum that way, don’t worry, but try to combine clitoral stimulation with penetration to give you a similar effect.

The hornier you are, the better, in my experience, so doing this after a period of edging and denial is perfect. A ruined orgasm is all about the mind fuck, and so be prepared for it to hit you quite hard emotionally too.

Keep reading

An early post of mine on how to ruin an orgasm.

Be careful what you wish for.

Sir, I’m addicted to my vibrator and nightly ruins. I know you’ve given advice on this before (I have read this blog top to bottom) but I have very little self-discipline. I always give in to using it, even though I’ve tried some of your suggestions, as I’m impatient and anything else seems to take forever. I burn through batteries, and edge with my vibrator on full blast and no shame…even having housemates. Any thoughts on how to control myself?

  1. Start using rechargeable batteries (seriously)
  2. Set a timer, maybe five minutes, and start using the vibe, but when it goes off, put down the vibe, no matter if you’re not close yet, and use just fingers for a few minutes
  3. Pick up the vibe again, timer back on, and repeat, keep doing that pattern until you’re pretty close – so you could cum if you went a bit faster and harder, and at that point, you’re not allowed the vibe any more
  4. Manage that, without going over and ruining, for three days, and on the fourth you’re allowed to use the same process, but have a nice big orgasm as your reward.

If you fail, start again, I want three days consecutively without a ruin please.

If you don’t manage that within a week, I’m taking your toys away.

You have been warned.

Show me you can do it. Good girl.


I found your blog a month or so ago and have been edging up to 20 times a day and do a ruined orgasm when I’m done edging and I am freaking soaked 24/7 but its not enough, I want to go to the next level and I don’t know what that is. I wan’t you to tell me what the next level is and you can make it literally anything, be as mean as you want, I can take it, I’m a strong girl so do your worst and I will conquer what ever task you give me, it will be easy as pie, just another challenge for the day.

Stop ruining the orgasms.

Simple as that.

No more cumming, at all.

Just edge, after edge, after edge.

Two weeks without a single climax, and we’ll see just how easy as pie it is then…

Good girl.

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Hi James, I’m considering making June a denial month for myself as a challenge, starting on the 1st. I’ve gone longer without an orgasm, but not while deliberately edging every day as suggested in your (amazing!) blog, so I’m hoping this will be a more enjoyable and challenging go! Thing is, my birthday falls within the month – the 11th – and I’m thinking about giving myself a pass to come on my birthday. What do you think – should I give myself that day off? Thanks for this awesome blog!! – Hy

Great idea!

But no, sorry hyacinth, you do this properly. No cumming, all month. Four edges a day, sleep stuffed on Thursdays, no touching on Fridays.

You’re welcome.

You’re allowed a ruin on your birthday, but you better be grateful and tell us all about it.

Good girl.

Please James, Sir, help me… Im such a slut and I need correct guidance. Edging makes me horny, ruined rgasms makes me horny, no-touch makes me horny, I don’t know what to do, in what order or how much of each anymore.. should I edge or ruin or no touch????!!! I’m sorry sir I’m such a slut.

I want 6 edges one day, no touch the next. I mean fucking strict no touch, not even a finger on your pussy all day long. I want cobwebs on it by the end of the day!

If you manage this regime, for ten whole days, you may ruin an orgasm on the last night.If you fail to do all your edges (the must all be separate times of the day) or you touch on a no touch day then you start from day 1 again.

Good girl

Hi James! I love your blog ever since i found it a few months ago! I have a little problem and was hoping you could help me with.Ive been into denial for some time but i have just recently told my dom about it. He has set up a schedule for me but its still leaving me with a lot of liberty to do whatever i want.Ive tried telling him i need a more strict schedule when it comes to edging/denial but he said his way was ok.So i was wondering if you could give me that schedule i need/want so much-kate

Hi Kate, thanks for the nice message. I tend to be less keen to get involved when there’s a dom already on the scene but you asked so nicely, so here you go.

You’re to edge a minimum of four times a day (except the no touch day).

Twice a week you must also do the Wheel of Denial, and if you go over by accident at all you’re to use the Wheel of Punishment to decide what you have to do.

One day a week you are to wear no panties, another day you are to wear a crotch rope and be on no touch the entire day, and one night a week you are to sleep with your pussy stuffed with a dildo or panties.

That’s about all I can give you with the information you’ve given me but happy to refine it if you message me. But see how you get on with that for now.

Good girl, have fun.

Oh and no cumming. You’re to send us weekly reports on your performance and I’ll decide if you’re allowed to cum, ruin or be punished accordingly.

So I was scrolling through your blog and Im new to the whole edging thing and I listened to cals curse and it kinda works. Its so frustrating!!! I didn’t believe it would work but now every time I try to cum I get a ruined one; when I cum it fades away so quickly. I can’t have an orgasm now or edge and it’s so damn frustrating ! I suffering here 😢

You love it.

Listen to cals curse at least ten more times as you edge.I don’t want you being able to cum without permission at all.

You’re not to even attempt an orgasm until you’re done with that.

Good girl. Welcome down the rabbit hole…