My first year latin text makes me so horny and it’s all your fault because it was this blog that introduced me to kink. The text keeps on saying things like “ancilla dominum delectat” (the slave-woman pleases her master). In this context it’s because she brings him wine but it always processes as kinky in my mind. After class yesterday I went back to my dorm and edged for a few hours because of this text. Didn’t cum though :).  I think you’ve broken me.

This, is awesome. You’re so welcome.

Here’s a poem by Catullus for you to work with, it includes the phrase ‘sodomised ass pony’. He wrote it to two friends who suggested it wasn’t very manly to write poetry…

Paedicabo ego vos et irrumabo,
Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi,
qui me ex versiculis meis putastis,
quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum.
Nam castum esse decet pium poetam
ipsum, versiculos nihil necesse est,
qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem,
si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici
et quod pruriat
incitare possunt,
non dico pueris, sed his pilosis,
qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos.
Vos quod milia multa basiorum
legistis, male me marem putatis?
Paedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.