Holy shit, I’m fetishising, god forbid. On a sex blog. Bad me, smack smack.
Look, I’m sorry you felt uncomfortable with it but I couldn’t have packed more warnings into that if I set the post on fire. I did what I thought was responsible and ran it past someone who’s intimately acquainted with the ins and outs of that particular gender minefield and took their opinion into account. (They teared up reading it, just fyi).
It’s okay to be uncomfortable with things, you just need to pause and run it past the ‘YKINMYK*’ filter. You don’t need to jump to accusing me of being uncomfortable just because you are.
Let’s just calm it down and recognise I’m trying to present Jordan with a variety of different mental tools to help him cope with his dysphoria. I don’t know which will work, the nice concept of ‘it just didn’t happen to you’, or the fact I think it’s hot and want to play.
So I gave him options.
The entire point of the fantasy paragraph I drop in is to illustrate I’m NOT uncomfortable with it, and more, I’m not scared of it, in fact as a dom my instinct is to completely fuck with the entire situation in a way I’d never dream of if I wasn’t okay with it. Just because it’s a hot button gender issue does not mean I can’t enjoy the idea of fucking around with it, and if you are uncomfortable with that, there you go. I’ve had several trans guys I’ve denied and this is just how I like to play with them. Some love it, a few hated it, so I adapted what I did with the latter.
There is a huge amount of strength to be drawn by sharing your deepest fears or anxiety with someone and them calmly showing you it’s not that big or scary to them and in fact, they can play with it. It’s so good to know there is more to life than anxieties that you feel are everything, it can be hugely liberating.
I’m hoping at least one or two of the ideas I gave him will help him ‘have fun with denial’ as he asked and I hope this explains a little more why I replied the way I did.
But thanks for the feedback.
*Your kink is not my kink