When i masturbate, my favorite thing to do is ruining. The idea of denial turns me on, and i think I’d like it with a partner, but denying myself isn’t fun. So when i masturbate, i try to edge as long as possible(not long) and then i ruin it, and it feels pleasurable and fulfilling. I can orgasm normally no problem, it’s not that i have trouble, but it’s not as fun? It’s just a bit overwhelming which is amazing but it doesn’t feel completely satisfying? And then it’s over immediately. Thoughts?

As always, if that works for you then it’s fabulous. The idea of ruining being the ‘climax’ of your play is really hot.

First ideas are to play with that more. See just how bad you can make a ruin. I find if you combine rubbing with fucking and pull it out just as you go over it makes it SUPER intense. Do a few practise runs and then take yourself over. Diva regularly ends up in tears after I taught her to ruin like that.

Then, I encourage you to expand it to a longer experience. You may not like just denial but if you know it’s building up to a ruin later that may help. So try edging earlier in the day,and just stopping, knowing you’re getting yourself super horny for the ruin later. Try that once, and then maybe if it works, try a couple of edges during the day, just leaving you desperate for that ruin.

And then at the end of the day, ruin it as your reward. And you know what, you might find one day the thought of just leaving yourself on the edge starts to appeal, that you can ruin yourself the next day…

Honestly, the major thing is just have fun with it. There’s no right way of doing this, apart from following that rule.