I’ve been exploring humiliation a lot lately. I’m drawn to it like a moth to a flame. It can burn me, but I love it. I crave it. And I’m starting to slowly learn my brand of humiliation, because not everything works on me.

I’ve never been into pee play. “Water Sports” as they’re so humorously called around these parts (honestly, whoever came up with that idea is a genius). The only bodily fluid that I wanted sexually was cum, and even then, it’s hard to swallow (get it…?). So when I say peeing my panties wasn’t on my to-do list, I mean it wasn’t even in my universe of thinking.

But I found myself one morning of my “no-touch” period of denial with a friend on the other side of my phone, telling me to hold in my pee. A game, one that I wasn’t so sure I was into, but as usual my friend knows what I want and just how far I was willing to go to get it.

After having gone weeks without any physical stimulation to my body, but spending hours edging my mind, I was going arousal-stir-crazy. I wanted, needed something. I found this post and I knew this could work. I could press my full bladder and it would almost feel like touching myself. It would be almost pleasure.

But you don’t get something without nothing. I had to hold my bladder until I was at an 8 (on a scale of 0-10), and only then could I press on my bladder. And only if I pee my panties.

My face got hot. It wasn’t the first time I had been aroused by the idea of peeing panties. It really started with this little assignment from @spankingtheatre . The idea of being spanked, inspected, and then strung up by ones panties and made to pee oneself over a potty was just the right kind of humiliation to make my slutty mind go wild with arousal. It was so embarrassing just feeling turned on by it…

So I agreed. And after two large cups of coffee, I was soon at a 5…6…7…8!!! 8!!! I was begging to go pee, but knowing that the only response I’d get was that the only way I could pee is if I peed in my panties. No leniency on this.

So I undressed except for my panties and I stood in the shower. And I felt stupid. But the need to go was making my mind feel unfocused and noisy. I danced from foot to foot. Why didn’t I just do it? I was alone in the house, and I was in the shower, I could just do it and then rinse off. No big deal. But it was the context in which I found myself that was most embarassing. Yes I had physically put myself there, but mentally it was being commanded of me, the submissive. So I found it difficult to get myself to go.

I pressed my fingers to my stomach and began to push in and down. I found the right spot on my bladder and the pressure felt amazing. I pressed harder and moaned, finding a rhythm of pressing and releasing, slowly, over and over. I didn’t think about what I was doing, it didn’t occur to me how strange it was. All I knew was that it felt good, and I missed feeling pleasure this way. But I knew I couldn’t get off from it, and I still had to pee so badly. So I focused, and slowly felt the warmth pool in my panties. It didn’t soak through immediately, it collected and spilled out the sides until the fabric was saturated and began to cascade down in a single unbroken stream. I felt the heat on my legs, heard it splashing on the tub floor.

I thought that the actual act would be what made me feel humiliated, but the second I released I felt no embarrassment, only relief. And afterwards I used the shower head to rinse myself off, and dry off and get dressed. And all that noise and disarray in my brain was suddenly gone, I felt calm and clear and honestly quite happy.

The second time I was told to hold it in was during my 30 edges day. I was instructed that one of my edges would have to be while I was peeing, and I was to hold it in until I could no longer hold it and had an accident. And like last time, I had drank two big cups of coffee, and again I got to an 8 fairly quickly after that. But I wasn’t supposed to get to an 8, I was supposed to be so full that I had an accident. And it seemed that I was hovering at 8 for so long, that I started drinking water just to speed it up because I was so uncomfortable. Do y’all know how hard it is to unintentionally piss yourself because you’re so full? It’s really hard. Your brain and body are rebelling against it! I lasted hours longer than I thought I would, and it got to the point where I knew I wasn’t going to piss my pants, but I needed to get this edge in now in order to continue with the 30.

Again, I got in the shower, nude this time, and I started to touch myself. This again was the moment of humiliation for me. Here I was in the shower, it’s not even running, and I’m rubbing my clit hoping to get to the edge and hoping to piss myself. That all hit me and I just felt horrible. And that in turn made me feel so fucking turned on, that I felt the edge coming up soon. I had to push to pee, I was so full. And trying to focus and push a bit, and trying to edge my clit was so difficult. Eventually a few little drops started to come, and then more and more. And then with the relief, mid stream, the edge came too.

For all of you who read this post to the end, please know that I felt so embarrassed writing this, reliving it in my mind, knowing you’ll all read it too… And I really hope you enjoyed reading it, and revel in my humiliation. It would make me so happy, haha. And I hope anyone who is on the fence about bladder control or peeing in panties, maybe you’ll think of it differently.

So this is my kick off post of humiliation stories! I’m going to compile all the submitted humiliation tasks, and then start doing some of them, as many as I can. Enjoy, friends!

I thought some of you would find this fascinating…

Plus the more who read it, the more embarrassed, and so aroused, she gets.

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