Ruining is when you go over the ‘point of no return’ into an orgasm but stop all stimulation at that point. It means a lot of the pleasure you would normally associate with an orgasm is lost, you just contract and despair at how good it should have felt.
It’s a pretty masochistic act, that’s the bottom line. You’re punishing yourself for your lack of discipline and getting off on the suffering you impose. If you’re with a partner it can be a VERY submissive experience, them taking away the greatest pleasure they could give you right at the moment you can’t do anything about it. It’s a huge mind fuck, and surprisingly addictive.
For many (not all) it has a powerful side-effect – give it 20-30 minutes, or even less, and your arousal and libido will EXPLODE back, often even hornier than before. So for those who love that feeling of being aroused and horny, it’s a quick way back to feeling that.
edging.space/tagged/ruined-orgasms/chrono will tell you more about it and suggest some techniques
Edging is when you get close to having an orgasm but don’t go over, just stay aroused and needy. It means all the happy hormones made while you’re experiencing sexual pleasure don’t get ‘washed away’ by the final rush of an orgasm – and many report the experience of what I call a ‘denial high’ where instead of just a few seconds of pleasure you feel good, all the time.