Oh, that’s a short, sharp question (kinda like anal sex, hah hah!)
Okay butt actually it’s a good question (I’ll stop the puns now).
Anal sex is great, and I say that as someone who didn’t even swear I’d never do it when I was young, because, it was just so unspeakably out of the question I didn’t even get that far!
I was such an idiot. Thank goodness for my patient, lovely hubby.
So let’s get some of the issues out of the way, can it be painful? Yes, if done wrong, and even if done right there’s a kind of achey stretching feeling about it that you have to get used to (and then realise you like!).
Is it dirty? Yes, he’s sticking his cock in your bottom, it can occasionally be a bit dirty, but that’s easily fixed with a condom if you really want to be anal about it (okay, the puns continue), or much better, going to the loo a couple of hours before, a good clean beforehand and some wetwipes to deal with it if it was a problem. As long as things are normal down there I’ve personally never had ANY issues with that side of things.
So, with those out of the way let me tell you why I think anal sex is awesome.
It never fails to feel really naughty.
It took hubby a couple of years to talk me into trying it, so we’ve been buggering like rabbits for at least a decade, and yet still every time he does it to me it makes me feel sexy and naughty and hot and kinky.
As a submissive partner there’s a real sense of giving all of yourself when you do it, of holding nothing back. That’s always a turn on for me too.
He absolutely adores it.
Even with all the new stuff we’ve been exploring this year I still don’t think any phrase has quite the impact upon him as me looking at him coyly and saying, ‘I want you to fuck me in the ass’.
It feels good! Yes it takes a bit of getting used to, and no you don’t want to do it too often, but once you learn the tricks to anal sex then it actually feels good to have him fuck you there! In fact my friend I mentioned above, can cum from it! I’ve not learnt that trick but when I’m super horny I love it.
It makes all his friends jealous.
We don’t talk about sex in huge detail with friends, well, he doesn’t (you know how women can be…). But the one thing he actually asked me if he could boast about was that we had anal sex. And after a bit of thought I decided I loved the fact he was so proud of it, and told him to go for it. And he reports back that they all tell him what a lucky bastard he is.
Seriously, why wouldn’t you want your husband to boast about how great your sex life is, especially when most men only ever seem to complain. And hell yes I like the fact that his friends look at me and wish their wives were as cool as I am. It feeds back to me of course, they complain to their wives that I do it but they won’t… and I’ve convinced a couple of friends to try it off the back of that, one found she loved it, the other didn’t… but mostly they won’t even try. And then they wonder why hubby and I have sex ten times as much as them…
How to make it feel good
Combine it with clit stimulation
This is the biggie, unless it’s a denial thing where the point is I get less pleasure from it, I want a vibe or fingers on my clit during pretty much all of anal sex. It turns it from okay/tolerable to good/amazing. So yes, be really turned on and keep the stimulation going.
Even better, as you’re getting into it, have him go down on you, and push a finger or a butt plug in your bottom as he does. It’s really hot. And this is about us being bold, so ask, or even tell him. I can only guess how hot it must be from hubby’s reaction when I say to him, ‘Stick your finger in my bum’. He clearly LOVES it.
The best known one – lube, a lot of it
It’s said you can never have too much lube with anal, and that’s pretty much true. It makes a huge difference, it’s absolutely vital. And no, the porn ‘spit on your cock’ does not count! Proper good quality lube. Put it on you, put it on him, put it everywhere.
There are anal specific lubes that often have a mild anaesthetic in them. I’m not convinced by that idea as if I’m relaxed and well lubed it doesn’t hurt. And I’d worry if I numbed it I might be hurting myself without knowing. But I’ve never tried it so give it a go if you want.
Buy some butt plugs
Butt plugs are great, well, in theory. Most of them seemed to be designed without any regard for human anatomy. You’ve seen those pretty metal jewel butt plugs? Great, as long as you’re bent over like a boomerang. The minute you try to stand up it’s like a hot dagger in your buttocks.
However, good ones are such a fun thing to wear. I guess hubby used to use one with me kind of like how I use the cage with him now, as a constant reminder that we’re being kinky. We went through a phase where I wore them on any excuse, going out with friends, even going shopping! It’s just that hot little shared secret.
We bought these Roll-play butt plugs recently and they are the best we’ve ever had.
They have everything you want in a plug, nice soft silicon, a thin neck with a wider body (AVOID super slim plugs, trust me, the WORST thing is it’s too thin and just pops out all the time, eugh). PLUS these have a little ball in it which rolls around and reminds you it’s there (it’s amazingly easy to get used to it and forget otherwise!). Small is perfect for beginners, medium for anyone with any anal experience.
Buy a butt plug, heck, get two, one for you and one for him (that’s what we have!) and as a bonus they’re on 2 for £15 or 2 for $25 at Lovehoney the last I looked.
And if you’re going to have anal sex, wearing a plug for a bit first makes it even easier. I just keep a little plastic bag by the bed to pop it into when I take it out.
My favourite thing about anal? I get to do it to him too!
Maybe I’m just an idiot but it took me a long time to figure out that guys can cum from anal stimulation, much easier than women. This is because unlike us they have the prostate gland up there and it’s often compared to our g-spot. So actually, if they can get over the fact ‘it’s not gay to feel good’ then they have even more to benefit from than us from getting it up the tootsie.
Combine that with chastity play and you are onto such a winner. Whether it’s finger massage, or using a dildo, or the full on strap-on experience, making him cum from anal is an incredibly intense experience. Yes there’s the whole milking thing, I’m not that interested in that to be honest. I want it to feel amazing,and if the amount of orgasm is anything to go by, cumming from the ‘P-spot’ plus cock stimulation is the nirvana of male orgasms.
If you’re after a strap on, which includes a brilliant dildo, get this one, it’s a no brainer.
That dildo by itself is £20, the whole kit including it is £28. Like I said, no brainer!
So there you go, my longest answer to your shortest! Can you tell I’m a fan?
I hope this convinces you to at least give it a try. If you don’t like it, then don’t worry about it, but at least you gave it a try, a fact for which your partner will be eternally grateful. Do yourself a favour and at least try a few times, and a few different ways as I’ve described. It’s really worth persevering.
But I hope, like me, you do learn it can be a fun, and very naughty part of a healthy sex life. Especially as it works both ways!
A fabulous answer from one of my favourite male denial blogs. Also, that dildo is brilliant (it’s suction cup which she doesn’t mention) (and if you were in the market for a strap on the £8 extra for the whole kit is a great deal).