Tag : virgins

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Is it really shitty that I’ve not lost my virginity yet? Im 18 and i feel like the biggest loser and like im never gonna find anyone that thinks im anything special.

No you muppet. It’s not shitty at all, it’s great! 

You’re holding out to do it with someone who cares about you. NEVER feel bad about this. It means you have standards and self-control, what are you whining about?

Most people who lose their virginity younger than you (and you’re only just at the average age for the US anyway) tend, in my experience, to have had a pretty crap time of it. A few are lucky enough to have a great time, but mostly it’s a few awkward thrusts, a moan and a ‘was that it?


You see the biggest problem having sex as a teenage girl, is that you tend to have to do it with teenage guys… (from my own research with friends I’d tend to say lesbians have a better time of it (you might actually get to cum!), and gay guys the worst in terms of first time experiences, but it’s rarely good for anyone).

Teenage guys are really, really bad at sex. They’ve grown up educated by porn, and think that all you need to see is a bare chest and a hard dick to be ready to fuck. They have no idea how to make you cum, or even the concept that you should be cumming long before they even get their penis near your vagina.

You’re lucky if you get this much foreplay…

Now the best thing to redeem that is the two of you are in love, because then it has all the lovely romantic first time shit going on and it turns that few awkward thrusts and a moan into, well loving, awkward thrusts and a moan, which is a bit better.

Meanwhile  studies show that having a good first time experience leads to a better sex life later on in life (no shit) as you aren’t having to undo the negative associations in your head each time you get intimate.

Look, I’m really old fashioned when it comes to this stuff, despite all the fantasies on the blog, I’m a big believer that any sex, especially full on intercourse, is best enjoyed in a committed, loving relationship.

Good sex, making love, is so much more than just fucking (whether that’s cocks in you or a girl’s fingers/strap on or even just cumming together, pick whatever definition is appropriate).

Now please don’t think I’m being a downer on sex outside of that context. I totally get the thrill of it, and the pleasure it can bring. I’m just saying I think the best and most fulfilling sex is found with someone you love.

So do not short change yourself just because you feel some nonsense social pressure to lose your cherry, it’s madness. Plus most of the others are lying about it.

My very first experiences denying someone else was with my wife-to-be, when we kind of accidentally stumbled onto teasing and denying each other. We decided it’d be hot to wait till our wedding night to have full intercourse, so we had 18 amazing months driving each other crazy, in the best possible ways.

She went from cute little vanilla English rose to full-blown kinky slut, and I got mad skills in the finger and oral departments. But even more, I got good at getting in her head and turning her on with my words and actions more than just fucking could ever do (and you my dear followers now read the benefit of that…)

It taught us amazing self-control, but beyond that we spent months discovering all the other ways we could give each other pleasure beyond just sticking my dick in her pussy. And it left room for a lot of romance which seems to be so often lacking in early relationships now. 

Protip guys, a poem beats a dick pic, every, single, time.

So dear anon, you are anything but a loser, so stop indulging the self-pity. Instead, work on loving yourself some more, accomplishing things you’re proud of, and using edging and denial to do as much as you can to turn yourself into a superstar lover in waiting.

That special someone is out there, be patient, use your time positively, and get out and find ways to meet new people. Virgin or not, love yourself, and you’ll find that special someone is very attracted to that. Then you can be the little fuck monkey you dream about and it’ll be all the better for it.


Always happy to have questions like this, and hear in the notes other people’s opinions!

Let me add the usual warning that safe sex is non-negotiable – contraception and a condom is best. Also, your situation is going to vary. If you had a great first experience, I’m so delighted (tell us about it, it’s always fascinating), if you had a bad one, don’t worry about it, it’s just not that important, it’s mostly some silly social construct perpetuated by the patriarchy anyway, right (feel free to tell us about it too). If you had a horrible first experience(s), and many do, and carry the scars of being forced for example, then again, that does not define you, and you do not have to let it stop you from having great sex in the future. However, it’s going to be harder path for you, and one you’ll need someone to help you with in my experience. So consider googling for a helpine or talk to someone you trust, because your past does not have to define your future. Love, James

What’s life like for Denial Academy girls whose masters have requested that their virginity be preserved? I’d imagine that they’d have to do tons of anal training, but what about the girls who were designated anal virgins as well??

Well on the whole while virginity can be preserved, penetration is required as part of the classes at the denial academy, as you can read about here:


and here


Virginity, of course, is not related to whether you have penetrated your vagina or your hymen is intact, but is purely related to whether you’ve had penetrative sex with another person (lesbian definitions vary but that does it for me).

Occasionally we get students who have been put on no touch for extended periods, or had their labia closed with piercings, or perhaps even infibulated to enforce anal only status. They will not be spared anal penetration, in fact their anuses are treated just as pussies, and all masturbation and training is simply done to that hole.

The other girls are pretty mean about it though, at least that’s what we hear. They tell them all the time how good it feels to fuck their pussies and make them watch when they do their homework edges before laughing at them just doing it to their ass in return. It’s not easy for an anal only girl, but it does build character.

There’s an anal only club that they can go and seek solace in, and share their unique frustration with the other girls who are anal only, by choice or otherwise. They share such things as anal edging tips, nipple masturbation and the practicalities of having a never ending craving to be filled.

Is there a certain type of girl that you just look at and immediately think to yourself ‘wow, she definitely needs her orgasms taken away’?

No, all of you need it.

Okay, not true, there are some that are my favourites, and quite a diverse list it is now you make me think about it.

First I love anyone new to masturbation at all. For them to just be discovering how amazing it can all feel and right away get addicted to denial is so hot and fucked up and I know it’ll affect how they feel about themselves and sex the rest of their lives (in a very positive, exploratory way).

At the other end of the spectrum, and far rarer, is when I’ve got a domme into denial. It takes a bit of convincing but enticing an experienced, dominant woman into trying denial and then her being amazed at how good it makes her feel is truly delightful, and usually hilarious in how she takes out her new horniness and frustration on any poor subs she has – so much fun.

A third favourite is the bored housewife. Seeing the transformation as she discovers just how good it feels to be horny and controlled is like unleashing a completely new injection of life into them. And as hokey as this sounds, I love getting them to direct that new passion to their often astonished partners and seeing their sex life and relationship similarly renewed because of it.

I’ve had letters of thanks in terms of what it’s done to revive relationships that have honestly made me tear up before now. So great.

Orgasm denial, making the world a better place, one edge at a time.