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sinister-sadist:

POST-ORGASM SHAME: A Brief Essay

I think everyone is familiar with the experience of post-orgasm shame. Today I’d like to talk a little bit about it and suggest some ways that you can prevent it from ruining your personal sexual gratification.

Introduction

Post-orgasm shame is a common phenomenon whereby your head completely clears after you climax. Your mind goes from the gooey soupy mess of arousal to rapidly re-forming into its logical, reasonable state. You suddenly become aware of how kinky or taboo your thoughts were, and you feel full of guilt and embarrassment.

There are a lot of reactions you might have to this sudden onset of shame. You might uninstall the Tumblr app, for instance, or you might throw away the toys or clothes you bought especially for these kinds of masterbation sessions. You might even completely delete your blog and swear that you’ll never get off to that kind of twisted stuff again.

Only… you always come back. Sometimes it takes weeks, sometimes it takes a couple of days, sometimes it’s only a few hours between saying, “I’m done with that forever,” and, “One more time couldn’t hurt…”

It can be confusing and stressful to go through these cycles over and over again, and I personally don’t think it is good for your mental health. So I’ve come up with some tips to help you cope, ranging from mild to extreme in nature.

Method 1: Occupy Yourself with Something Else IMMEDIATELY

Post-orgasm shame is at its strongest immediately after you climax, so the best way to cope in the short-term is to remove yourself from a position where you could do something you might regret.

As soon as you are finished your orgasm, drop your phone, or close your laptop, or get up from the computer chair. Go into the bathroom and brush your teeth. Or head to the kitchen and make some food. Or grab your coat and take a walk.

If you stay in the spot you orgasmed, still holding your phone or looking at your computer screen, you have a MUCH higher chance of deleting your blog, or deactivating your Reddit account, or uninstalling Kik, or otherwise sabotaging your masterbation methods.

So to combat this, just get up and go do something else. By the time you’re done, your mind will be closer to its usual headspace and you won’t be as likely to go on a purge.

Method 2: You Can’t Have Post-orgasm Shame if You Never Orgasm

This concept is simple to grasp, but difficult to execute. Essentially, if you stop having orgasms you stop feeling that sudden drop in mood.

Edging is your friend here. If you want to try this method, you need to learn to love being horny. It takes a lot of willpower to play with yourself and stop short of climaxing every time.

However, there are a lot of added benefits. If you don’t cum when masturbating, it will make every touch exciting and intense. The longer you go without an orgasm, the more sensitive and wound up you will be. This can lead to having A LOT of fun when you play with yourself, and even more fun when you have a partner to play with.

Method 3: Accept Who You Are

This is the toughest of them all. Again, it’s simple to understand but incredibly hard to actually follow through with.

If you feel awful for masturbating to a certain thought, or type of porn, the only way to truly overcome it is to embrace that aspect of yourself. If you constantly deny yourself, telling yourself, “This is wrong,” then you will never be free of the shame.

However, if you take the mental leap and confront it, you will find comfort in your acceptance. You need to look yourself in the mirror and say, “Hey. I like this stuff. It doesn’t make me a bad person. It doesn’t mean I’m disgusting, or gross, or a sicko. It’s just what turns me on, it’s what I like to think about when I’m in private. It’s okay to have kinky fantasies.”

It’s very difficult to admit this to yourself, and if you are someone who has already done this, I wholeheartedly congratulate you.

Conclusion

With this post I have tried to explain post-orgasm shame, and I’ve given some suggestions on how to lessen its impact.

I hope you have found this post helpful in some way. Everyone should feel comfortable with their own interests and desires, and I hope my suggestions can help some of you to achieve that.

Method 2 – read all about it here!

I have to know what’s so appealing to you about pleasure denial. I agree that a short denial say a few hours or a day can be fun but a whole week? A month? I don’t get it.

hornydeniedgirl:

I’ve never gone a month. Two weeks was the longest, and that was too long for us, at least that time. I usually go about 5-10 days.

The key to understanding it is that orgasm denial is not pleasure denial. If anything, I get a lot more pleasure during our denial sessions than I would’ve gotten otherwise. I edge every day, and each edging session is intense pleasure. We fuck almost every day, and getting cock in a highly aroused, deliciously swollen, well edged pussy is spectacularly pleasurable.

Also, my range of things that feel good expands during denial, and the longer I go, the wider my sensation range becomes.

After a few days of denial, sucking cock becomes pleasurable. I always enjoy it for psychological reasons, but denial makes my lips more sensitive, and the velvety skin of a hard cock sliding between my lips starts feeling really good.

I also start enjoying pain. Normally pain is a turn off, but during denial, it becomes just intense sensation and I get a big rush from it. We have a whip that only comes out after four days of denial and edging. We are also getting a couple more sensation play toys to experiment with, and I’m really looking forward to it!

I feel energized and alive in my body during denial. My skin is more sensitive all over. Food tastes amazing. All touch feels amazing. I am prone to living in my head, denial makes me much more aware of my entire body.

The mental and emotional component is the most important part for me. Denial makes me feel more submissive to my partner. I gave him control over my pleasure and release (this was completely my idea, btw. He’s doing it because I wanted it). He can have me do anything he feels like, he can do to me anything he wants. He fucks me as often as he likes, and I’m always very wet and very eager for it. His orgasms feel awesome to me. I want to give him pleasure, all the time. He usually cums almost every day during a denial session, and I love it. The seeming unfairness of it is a huge part of the fun for me.

And of course, my eventual orgasm at the end of the session is absolutely spectacular. I cum and cum and cum for what seems like forever. I suspect it’s actually several orgasms in a row. It is so much stronger and way more pleasure after a denial session than it normally is.

It’s not for everybody. I understand that many people would find it just frustrating, and not in a good way. I hope my answer helped you understand a little bit why I’m into it.

Edit: no, he does not have a blog.

hornydeniedgirl:

I have a new rule – I am not allowed to just throw smut I like into drafts and come up with a caption later, because then this is what happens. Now if I see something I like, I have to write the caption right then and add it directly to the queue, or release it back into the wild for someone else to caption.

This was taken after a productive caption-writing weekend, too. It was well over 2000 before that.

I’ll have too much smut in my drafts FOREVER.

Yeah I feel your pain.
The real annoyance is it begins to lag so much after you get a few hundred into your drafts, so the ones from ages ago (which are sometimes half written ask responses etc) are virtually inaccessible.
Mine’s only on 1,854 though. So you make me feel better 😉 (Until I see my inbox!)

Post sex need drop

hornydeniedgirl:

We fucked, it was great, he came, I didn’t.

So why the hell am I not horny anymore? Like, at all.

I’m sure it’ll be back with a vengeance tomorrow, but it feels so weird right now.

Ok, back to the regularly scheduled barrage of smut.

Perhaps you’re becoming an orgasm succubus, him cumming is enough, to satisfy you, just enough, vicariously sharing his pleasure.
You may never need to cum again.
You may never be able to…

sillysexystupid:

So today I went shopping in a cute little sundress w my panties stuffed in my cunt. It was p windy & I had such a hard time keeping my dress down but I managed! I went to this huge store & took the cutest upskirt photos of my cunt w my panties shoved inside. I made the mistake of telling Daddy the place was p empty & that I could prob pull my panties out right there in an aisle in the middle of the store but that I was a little scared to do so. Daddy said that I could be little or that I could be scared, but not both. So He had me squat down right then & there, pull the panties out of my cunt, scrunch them up in my hand, & walk back to my car like that. I was so so nervous but I did it! As soon as I pulled them out, I could smell how wet they were. I was so paranoid anyone near me would be able to smell me on them, too, so I rushed out to my car as quickly as possible. I shoved them back inside me, drove home, pulled them out, & gagged myself w them while I slapped my cunt. Today was a v fun day😌💖

Very impressive!

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