Tag : switch

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Hello, James. I have a dilemma. My current partner is a submissive boy with slight aggressive tendencies. Most subbie boys enjoy pleasing their lady. It’s what gets them off. And I rather enjoy orgasm denial once in a while. I figure we’d deny each other. I just don’t know how to breech the topic to him?? Since his pleasure is the utmost importance to me. But I think this could be good for us. I’ve been a switch for awhile now but being the dominant partner is still new to me. -Hazel

Step 1 – Lock his cock up in one of these:

Step 2 – Profit

Okay but really, it’s okay to be dominant and still love edging and denial. I sure do. I think it’s why I can write about it so passionately. 

There are lots of dommes who contact me wanting to be denied.  I’ve got a couple of pro-domme friends who absolutely use it to get themselves in the zone for working with their clients.

Edging and denial tend to enhance your natural D/s tendencies. That’s not always the case, but at least at first, I think you’ll find him edging you will make you MORE dominant. So don’t overthink it too much. Just get him between your legs and tell him to edge you, to not let you cum. Watch the fireworks. I know you want to please him but you need to get more comfortable with the fact his greatest pleasure comes from pleasing you. That doesn’t necessarily mean getting you off.

Get him to edge your fucking brains out. If his tongue isn’t in your asshole by the end of it, pushing both you and him to new experiences, I’d be amazed. It isn’t just him who can be unleashed by edging and denial, if anything it works even better on women.

I said ‘at first’ above because if you’re switchy (and switchy is the best of both worlds, screw anyone who says otherwise) there’s a chance that prolonged and severe denial will push you into a more submissive headspace. So just be aware of it. That might be cool. I actually had one couple where exactly that happened. He got caged, she went deep down the denial rabbit hole, and they ended up messaging me ‘So umm, ever denied a couple?’ It’d rude to say no.

The other approach compared to the above simple one of just telling him to do it and watching the fireworks is make it a game, a competition. Dare each other to not cum for the month and to turn each other on as much as possible. You can’t go far wrong with that. Set up some hot rules, forfeits for any failures, and just have some fun.

It sounds like you’re doing a great job stepping up into the top role, Hazel. Keep going, and remember if you’re not laughing sometimes you’re doing it wrong.

I hope that helps,

James

PS A cock cage will do wonders for his slightly aggressive tendencies. Just sayin’

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