female-orgasm-denial:

doll-in-the-shadows:

*I wrote this a few days ago, but I’m shy, so…

I’m trying to find the words to describe how I felt when I logged on to tumblr today. It’s so much more than porn to me.

My first tumblr was erotic art. I still follow my favorite blog from that very first tumblr. She talked to me once, and I remember thinking about how that was so cool, I could actually talk to the person who was creating this art.

I started to “like” other things, things I thought I might like to try, things I thought could communicate to my partner what it was I needed. I’ve never been very good at finding porn, so it was amazing to have this tool for communication. I’m the type that will DO the really nasty, dirty thing, but I will never, ever say it out loud. (I’m working on it.)

I started to search for things, anything really. I figured if I found every single type of porn it would somehow give me an idea of whatever this “stuff” was that I was into. Until then I’d been sexually adventurous, with a high sexual drive, but I didn’t really know anything except vanilla sex. I searched everything. One thing led to another and another and I went on this crazy ride of self discovery. I have never fallen more deeply in love with anything in my life, and it changed the course of my dreams.

Sexuality has always fascinated me, but I never realized how much, or how deeply until I started that search. This time it shifted everything for me. My dream has always been to go back to school to become a therapist, but I realized I wanted my focus to be on sexuality. I started learning how to become a sex therapist.

There’s only so much you can actually learn about sexuality here, so I took my research elsewhere. But for MY personal research, for MY sexuality, I stayed here.

I stumbled on this little bubble of tumblrs that all seemed connected somehow, that all posted the kinky type of things I had learned that I was into. (Before tumblr I was terrified to ask my partner to slap me in the face. Terrified.) What I had stumbled into was the BDSM community on tumblr.

I read everything. Absolutely fucking everything. How the hell did these girls know exactly how I felt inside? Maybe they’re just really good writers, maybe I’m just identifying with these emotions because I’m being empathetic maybe, maybe…

I denied being submissive for a while. For as long as I could. Until I just couldn’t anymore. I’m not “just kinky” as much as I wanted to be.

I got a few more tumblrs. I dove a little deeper with each one. Once I even reached out to another member of the community and told her all about my vanilla relationship. She told me I could start over and that it was ok to have these needs. I bought a couple of her books because she was so much like me.

I always thought about writing here. But what was I going to say? I’m a submissive stuck in a vanilla relationship and I can’t leave? There were other submissives who had vanilla partners, but they were with their partners because they loved them. I was just stuck. And it hurt so bad to see everyone have the thing I needed so badly.

Eventually I wrote. I decided to keep a JUNO journal this year. I decided to leave my vanilla relationship. I met my Dom on tumblr. I’m starting my life completely over.

I wouldn’t have known any of this if it weren’t for tumblr.

Obviously there’s more to my story, and this is just a glance at all of the things I’ve gone through in the past 3 years here. But it just has to be said because it’s ending.

Maybe this is good for me. Maybe I need to branch out a little bit instead of staying in this little comfort zone. God knows I spend hours upon hours on this site. But tumblr ending is like a little piece of my life ending. I regret not writing more, not reaching out to the tumblrs, especially the women, who changed my life. So I guess that’s kind of what I’m doing now.

@darkmekare @amysubmits @cherished-property @dwpreturns @instructor144 @fireflyflashes @littlemisssubshine @pleasurewhore (even though those two are gone now) @cynicaldom @female-orgasm-denial @i-could-be-the-walrus @sadisticgames

You all literally helped change my life. Reading your posts made me realize I am submissive, and now I get to live it.

And of course @ombratoire for being the best Dom ever 😘

Thank you @doll-in-the-shadows this is just what I’m most sad about when it comes to Tumblr’s changes, the loss of this safe, private space to explore what’s out there, and through that, yourself. 

This is where I think Tumblr are just hugely disconnected from the reality of what has been created here. When they say things like

There are no shortage of sites on the internet that feature adult content.  

That’s true but NONE of them are like Tumblr. Most of them are hardcore, in your face porn videos with little to no community aspect to them, or if they are a community, it’s more of a shark pool than somewhere safe to explore.

With Tumblr the fact it’s got lots of other SFW content means that those who want to take the first steps, and beyond, in exploring their sexuality, gender, preferences, kinkiness, desires etc can do that here.

I think they will be amazed at how many people who would appear to just have vanilla blogs are actually here because they can access the NSFW that’s about to get canned. 

I bet they haven’t taken that into consideration in this decision. They’ll have done some stats looking at how many vanilla blogs follow NFSW ones, but what they don’t realise is a huge number of those are here reading the NSFW content, they just don’t even want to put their head up above the parapet enough by even following a blog like mine. Instead they will search the terms and tags they want to get off to.

That’s why this is going to spell the ultimate demise of Tumblr long term. This was their unique selling proposition – come for the art and memes, stay for the porn. It’s been a wonderful gateway into important, vital areas of life as described so eloquently above. 

What a shame that doorway is about to be slammed shut.

Reblogging because there are some amazing notes on this

Could you offer any semi pubic tasks for a naughty girl? I’ve decided the humiliation of taking out the trash in a short dress, no panties, and a butt plug gets me absolutely dripping. Thank you sir.

female-orgasm-denial:

Love this question! Some kind of desire for semi-public tasks is actually quite a common desire when you really let denial take you to new levels of arousal and openness. I’ve done a lot with it in the past but not much recently, so thank you for sparking this!

So just a heads up with anyone considering this kind of activity. The thrill is in the RISK of being caught, not in actually purposefully exposing yourself. The latter is often illegal, but more than that I just don’t think it’s fair to force others to participate in your play, so be considerate. That’s very contextual of course, letting your bare ass get glimpsed in a nightclub full of adults is very different from wandering around a mall or playground! Be sexy, but be safe and sensible too people.

Okay, with that out the way, here are some ideas

Exhibitionism starts at home

So the questioner is already trying some things at home and this really depends on your circumstances. For some it’s fun to do things at home, however for others, for example if you live with parents, it’s a very bad idea.

If you can do this at home then here are some ideas

Decide how much to wear, from cute dress you can reach under to completley naked, according to how daring you want to be. Get to the edge and then go and stand in a window where there is a slight chance you might be seen. Best done at night to avoid kids. Once you get to the window, shut your eyes and rub yourself to the count of 50. Then, you open them and you CONTINUE to rub, even if you’re being watched, for the count of ten. As with clothes, vary the amount of light, from very safe in the dark to bright lights. This is a great one for the classic apartment block facing another scenario. 

Another idea is to be edging when the post is likely to arrive, and if the door rings, commit (or at least fantasise) about going to answer it naked or in the lingerie you’re wearing. A more deliberate variation is to order a pizza etc and answer the door naked, or wearing a towel which you then ‘accidentally’ drop. The most fun is to act completely normally as though you were dressed. As soon as the door closes, go and edge your brains out, or if you are allowed, you get the reward of an orgasm.

A nice anonymous one is to go on a sex chat site like chaterbate and make sure the cam isn’t showing your face (or wear a mask). Basically ignore the chat apart from the waving to show you’re real, and just edge as you watch men from around the world cum, looking at you. Don’t get drawn into their bullshit games though, if they try it just hit next, never show your face to strangers (and make sure nothing too obvious is showing in your room too). You can start with a little message ‘You have one minute to cum looking at me’ and see what happens. Again, if you’re allowed, set a target, maybe 20 guys cumming and you can orgasm.

The great outdoors

When heading out from the safety of home again, just be sensible about what you do please. Sadly there are those out there who will take the fact you’re being naughty as consent to hurt you, so be safe! Also,most of these are better in the summer unless you’re a cold weather masochist (I find being cold one of the best ways to kill any horniness myself).

One of the purest forms of exhibitionism is to find somewhere beautiful and isolated. Some woods is a perfect example, and strip naked and edge right there, ‘one with nature’ and all that. It’s also surprisingly liberating to ‘mark’ the territory with your pee. Suddenly the embarrassing squat scenario can be reclaimed as something sexy.

For the more urban among us, shop changing rooms afford a wonderful place to try on some sexy clothes and then edge in them, or just naked! Some countries allows changing room cameras though so do check your relevant laws (although some of you kinky bitches might actually like that). Less sexy but equally thrilling can be the secret trip to the rest room. Try stripping there, and edging as you try to be completely silent. For real thrill seekers… dash into the men’s restroom instead!

Generally inserting ‘jiggle (ben wa) balls’ and going out, or a butt plug (make sure it’s comfy and take a bag in case you need to take it out) and going anywhere is enormous fun. No panties adds to the experience, and a short but not crazy-short dress or skirt adds even more. 

Finding a private corner in a cafe and reaching under a coat on  your lap and edging right there is a classic scenario. Especially in a skirt with your bare ass on the seat. But be a good girl and make sure to wipe up the mess you leave!

This is probably overkill:

female-orgasm-denial:

Christina looked into her own eyes and suddenly it struck her. 

She liked what she saw.

She admired her body, so barely covered with the clothes he’d made her buy. She’d fought him for weeks when he said no bra, and now she only ever wore them to the gym or as part of an outfit.

The little breasts she’d hated for years now proudly on show, erect nipples poking through, finally loving how they looked.

‘You are beautiful,’ she whispered to herself out of habit. His words, in her mouth, and finally, she believed it.

‘I’m a slut, his slut, and I love it,’ she announced, biting her own lip, flirting with herself as she realised what she could now do.

‘I want… to fuck you,’ she told her reflection. It of course, returned the thought.

And so she did. And she came, without guilt. He’d told her this day would come, she hadn’t believed him, and he’d denied her until it did.

He was going to be so proud.

Light switches of the world

female-orgasm-denial:

Denial edition:

Well this one won’t be an incentive to save energy for readers of this blog

Starwars nerd edition:

Unfortunate Catholic edition:

Deeply inappropriate Catholic edition:

(yes, it does actually say ‘honor they mother and father’ above the Jesus gloryhole)

Disney skank edition:

(Yep, that’s a fucking tattoo, on a woman who was offended when she got thrown out of Legoland because she had it bared around young kids…)

Lady edition:

Fawlty Towers real lady edition:

I wanted to ask because I didn’t know you could ruin an orgasm for a girl, i mean i’ve seen it done to guys. How does one do that exactly to girls?? P.S. Major kudos to your blog. inspired me to do 20 days of denial with my Sir, and he’s enjoying it

female-orgasm-denial:

What a great question, and thanks so much for the encouragement! 

So, ruined orgasms… they are a really interesting tool in our denial box of tricks. With guys they are very easy to manage, and the results are much more predictable (he starts ejaculating, you stop rubbing, he dies inside…) WIth girls it’s MUCH less predictable. It can sometimes have little effect and be nearly as good as a normal orgasm, other times it can leave you emotionally distraught and in tears, and it can also make you want to kill someone, which is quite amusing. This doesn’t only vary from woman to woman, but from time to time, but I’ll describe how I recommend doing it from a denial perspective, i.e. to not let you stop being horny but to give you just a taste of an orgasm but none of the fulfilment of it. 

How to ruin a woman’s orgasm

Ideally you want to be ruining a vaginal or g-spot orgasm, as it’s a far more impactful, as you’ll see. If you can’t cum that way, don’t worry, but try to combine clitoral stimulation with penetration to give you a similar effect.

The hornier you are, the better, in my experience, so doing this after a period of edging and denial is perfect. A ruined orgasm is all about the mind fuck, and so be prepared for it to hit you quite hard emotionally too.

Keep reading

An early post of mine on how to ruin an orgasm.

Be careful what you wish for.

The slippery slope

female-orgasm-denial:

I’m feeling horny again, let’s see what I find if I Google ‘orgasms. Oh, ‘orgasm denial’ I wonder what that is?

Oh god, they aren’t allowed to cum, but orgasms are so good, why would they not want to cum? This is so fucked up, why is this turning me on so much?

Oh fuck, I had no idea I could get this horny… oh god I want to cum so bad, but it says I’m not allowed to.

If I message him I wonder if he’ll make me his denial slut too?

Are you on it yet?

St Margaret’s Denial Academy

female-orgasm-denial:

You’d have thought that a private boarding school for girls that explicitly sexualised and mistreated their pupils would have never been popular enough to survive. However the reverse was true, demand could not have been higher.

The reality was that many rich parents who’d put their spoilt daughters through the best schools in the country found them graduating with poor grades, but much worse, a complete lack of discipline or self control. Some of course, didn’t care, but for those loving parents who wanted their daughters to succeed and achieve they knew that self awareness, desire and discipline were the cornerstone on which successful careers and relationships must be built.

And so, at 18 a new opportunity presented itself. Those same girls could be put into a much stricter and disciplined environment than would have been permitted at an earlier age. An environment where both carrot and stick were used liberally to reset those young women’s rebellious, lazy ways. Where they would be taught the most profound lessons using their own bodies as the most effective mechanism to discover control and discipline, and uncover what they were truly capable of.

Why though, would these girls accede to sign away their freedom? Very simply, in most cases the threat of disinheritance. In fact it was a requirement of entry that all financial support was to be controlled and regulated by the school, and that a notarised promise to both disinherit and expel their daughters from family properties was on record in order for the school to maintain proper control over what were, initially at least, very spoilt and rebellious girls.

It wasn’t the motivation for all though. A few special students had already discovered the power of denial and self control for themselves, and applied simply on their merits – a confirmed orgasm denial of two months minimum was required, along with high achievement in other related areas, to even be considered.

This did however open up places on the academy for those whose parents could not afford the program, as a substantial proportion of the fees went to bursary schemes. 

It’s rumoured many well informed working class families  in the UK imposed strict orgasm denial and monitoring on their daughters just to hope to access one of those bursary places. Few succeeded, but they were valuable lessons learnt nonetheless.

Other bursaries were available for trans girls and the special category of anorgasmic women, who claimed to never have cum. 

The latter were subjected to a two day intense ‘trial’ to make sure they truly were unable to climax. A quarter of those applicants routinely proved to be false, and the rigorous testing caught them out within an hour or two. But the testers liked to carry out another 46 hours or so of stimulation on the rest, just to make sure.

No matter their means of entry, the school’s requirements were hard and unrelenting, but their results were spectacular. The women who emerged, for women they were by then, were not the same as the ill disciplined girls who nervously entered the programme a couple of years before. Indeed, they almost all will go on to be the high achievers of the next generation. So much so that questions are now being asked about whether the academy’s methods should be rolled out on a wider basis.

Here at female orgasm denial we’ve secured some more exclusive behind the scenes insights into this most infamous of educational establishments, and we look forward to bringing you more in the near future!

http://female-orgasm-denial.tumblr.com/tagged/denial-academy

Ah the post that started it all…

Hey, this is kinda embarrassing but I’m going to have sex with my girlfriend but I want to make it special and fun. Can you give me some advice/positions? Anything could help. Thank you

female-orgasm-denial:

I do love specific asks. This isn’t one of them…

I don’t know if you’re a guy, or a girl. I have no idea if this is your first time or not. ‘Can you give me some advice/positions’ is so vague it hurts.

Despite all that (OMG people please be specific with questions, it helps so much) here’s a few little pointers

Start with your MOUTH. Nope, I don’t mean oral sex, I mean, WORDS. Tell her how beautiful you think she is, how you feel about her, how excited she makes you. Get her wet on words alone.

Then use your HANDS. Touch her, caress her, tease her. Take your time, there’s no rush. Treat her like you’re unwrapping a present. Make her ache for you to go to the next step before you do it. Kiss, a lot, as your hands explore her. Use your fingers to caress her nipples then slowly work down to her clit and masturbate her as you make out. Keep talking, and listening. See how she responds, what she likes most. Make her crazy for more.

Then your MOUTH again, kissing down her neck, focusing on her breasts as your fingers stimulate her clit even more. Then, going down, down down until it’s your mouth on her, making her grab your hair as you lick and kiss and gently suck on her clit, your fingers starting to explore inside her, getting her ready for more.

And then, when you’ve got her to the edge, you come back up to kiss her and your fingers keep her right on the edge and you look into her eyes and tell her to cum for you and kiss her hard and deep as you make her orgasm.

Because yes, SHE CUMS FIRST.

And then (I’m assuming you have a cock because girls tend to ask better questions than this), and ONLY then do you start to tease her with your cock. (I’m also going to assume you are being smart and safe and using condoms). If this is a first/early time, no matter how wet she is, you should also use a little lube, it will make it much more pleasurable.

Encourage her to use her hands and mouth on you too, see if you can make her cum again while she does. 

But then, lay her back, because old school missionary is best for this scenario, and you press your lubed cock between her pussy lips, not in her, on her, and you rub it up and down so it grinds on her clit and the tip slips down to where she wants it so much, but you don’t give it to her yet, you look into her eyes and you keep talking and kissing and you tease the tip until she begs you to put it in her.

And then you do, but… just the tip. Self control is everything, as you watch her mouth open and then her eyes beg you for more, but you don’t give her more, not yet, You just fuck the head of your cock in and out, ten, twenty times, make her want it more than anything she’s ever wanted. And then, slowly, but with strength, you push it all the way inside her. And you hold it there, the two of you, joined. 

And then, back, back to the tip, five more half thrusts, and then deep again, keep doing that, keep teasing her, drive her crazy, make her lose it as you start to fuck harder, deeper, making her yours, claiming her inside and out. Wrap an arm around her back and pull her to you as you build in intensity and speed. Kiss, bite, bury your face in her hair as you focus on how good it feels, then lean back, let her see you as you cum, let her see how amazing it is to share this with her, and don’t hold back, fuck her, fuck her hard, and be vocal, she doesn’t want you quiet now, let her hear your pleasure as you jet your cum out.

And then, when you’re done. Don’t pull out, not straight away. Stay there, together. Kiss, look at her, tell her how amazing she is, how great that was. 

Then carefully pull out, both of you do a little clean up (sex is messy), and then, cuddle the fuck out of her. You never know, she might have a little bit of cumming left to do, so cup her mound with your hand and see if she’s up for more. And maybe after a little recovery, you will be too.

Special enough for you?

Found this reblogged, forgot I wrote it. It’s good shit. Enjoy.

female-orgasm-denial:

It took her 18 months to get up the nerve to ask him out. 

‘i was hoping you’d ask. I’d love to, but… I have some very particular requirements.  Just how much do you want this?’

‘I’d do anything!’ she declared.

‘I was hoping you’d say that too,’ he smiled.

do you have any advice on analingus?

female-orgasm-denial:

Try it, it’s awesome!

For those who don’t know, analingus (often called ‘rimming’ or a ‘rimjob’ or even ‘tossing the salad’ (for obscure salad cream in prison related reasons)) is the licking of the arsehole for sexual stimulation. For obvious reasons it’s quite a taboo idea, but it really can be quite wonderful.

Here are my steps to successful analingus…

Step 1: SQUEAKY CLEAN BUTTHOLES

The first point is about hygiene, anything less than squeaky clean is not cool. If you have a scat fetish that’s another thing, but for most of us we want to enjoy it without any worries about the actual poo side of things. So if I’m going to receive it, or give it, that ass better be fresh out of the shower having been scrubbed, yes SCRUBBED clean. Get a soapy finger up there too and give it a good rinse with a shower jet for good measure.

I want to see it SPARKLE (My Little Pony pun right there)

Step 2: Get intimate, get horny

While there are exceptions (see below), on the whole we don’t go right into assdiving as our first move. Analingus is something a lot of people only want when they are insanely horny, as being in that state of mind helps them drop any reservations they have about it and just enjoy the pleasure and the intimacy. That means spend some quality time pleasuring each other in all the ways I’ve shown you before you think about getting into it.

Step 3: Tease your way to it

Analingus is a lot about the mindfuck – ‘Oh my god is he going to lick my… ohhhhhhhh!’ So don’t just jump right in, once she or he is super horny and ready for it, slowly work your way to it. Start with wandering fingers, around the asshole, not even on it yet, combine masturbating or sucking them with some finger tips exploring around their ass. Then move down but just kiss and lick around there, build the anticipation before your tongue starts flicking right on their chocolate starfish.

Here’s the thing about analingus, it feels good but not THAT good. It’s a lovely, sexual stimulation, but that’s not the real thrill of it. The main thrill is you’re licking someone’s asshole, it’s just so fuckingly ridiculously intimate. Your mouth, their asshole, and they can’t do much but lie there and experience it as you giving this to them.

The next day when you’re out shopping with them you’ll still be thinking about what you did and getting horny over it, and the secret smile in their eyes shows they’re thinking about it too.

Step 4: Build it up and make them cum WITH it (not FROM it)

After doing it a bit on it’s own you then want to combine it with other stimulation that will take it to another level and get them cumming (if they’re allowed…).

You can increase the intensity of what you do, and this is where you build from licking around and on their ass to tongue fucking it, pointing your tongue and pushing the very tip a little into them. It’s quite tiring on your tongue so don’t expect to do it for long.

Going back to hygiene this is why you want to have soaped up inside your bottom with a finger in the shower, but even if you do, if you tongue fuck their ass, you will taste, ass. It’s a unique taste, a bit earthy, not unpleasant, and if they’ve washed, hardly noticeable. But if you’re horny enough when you give it, you’ll like it.

Done on a guy this has the amazing slang name of ‘The Rusty Trombone’

(Go on, you can figure it out… and yes it feels fucking amazing!)

It’s very unlikely most people can cum from just analingus, although the mind is a wonderful thing. But you DO want to keep doing it until they cum because it starts to tie in that even greater pleasure to having their ass licked, and I find as you do that over time it almost trains someone to feel greater pleasure from it than it did originally. SO yes, if you’re exploring this then make sure you bring them all the way while you’re doing it the first few times (if they aren’t denied, in which case edge their fucking brains out while you tongue their ass).

After that they’ll have an easier time receiving it as you’ve tied those good feelings to it, and you can be less intense with it and just drop it into your sexy time on a more casual basis.

‘EAT MY ASS, BITCH’ – Asslicking in D/s

If you’re in a D/s relationship then analingus can have a whole extra depth to it, because being told, and made to go and lick your dom(me)s ass is a total mind fuck. If you’re down there, lapping at their asshole while your denied cunt just drips, unsatisfied, needy, well it’ll get you right into subspace, trust me. It very much ‘puts you in your place’ which we know, you love.

Unf.

Analingus FAQs

Does it taste of shit?
No, not if as instructed it’s had a good clean. If you’re worried about this, or if you’re doing this with someone you’d use protection with anyway, then you can use a ‘dental dam’ (see below).

What if I want to fart?
Tell them! Real sex is full of moments like this, just warn them, move over, get it done and if you want to, go back to it; but honestly, I’m usually laughing too much the few times this has happened to do that, we’d go on to something else, but it’s not a problem.

What about sexual health issues?
As I said above, if you’re doing this with someone you’d use other sexual protection with then you can use a ‘dental dam’ for analingus which is basically a very thin stretchy rubber sheet you put over the top. It still feels pretty good but you have that little bit of separation. I have no idea where I’d go and buy one though (although your local STI clinic would definitely have them) so the alternative is cut the tip off a condom, so it’s a tube,and then cut it along the tube so it opens up into a rectangle, clever huh!

There’s a video of this on Facebook of all places…

So there you go, happy asslicking my lovely followers, may you discover its joys for yourselves (and then tell us all about it!)

James

Actually this is worth reblogging after my recent post on it.