Tag : self-harm

Heya, I get if you’re not comfortable answering this, but would you hold it against a sub for having self harm scars (or even some fresher cuts)? Would you still play with them? What would you do?

Goodness no, I wouldn’t hold it against them. And it’s always okay to talk about.

Hear that again, it’s ALWAYS okay to talk about. I’m so glad you asked.

Self harm is never cool, it’s awful and the reasons you do it are complex and difficult and ugly.

But that doesn’t mean you are. You’re beautiful, with or without your scars. And they are part of you now, and that’s okay. 

We don’t want any more, and we want to learn not to have to make new ones. But that starts with you loving yourself, and being loved, just the way you are.

So I’d kiss the scars, and make you kiss them. I’d tell you it was okay, that there are other ways to let it out. 

Edging can actually be one of them. It doesn’t work for everyone, but I know some for whom it has, very effectively. When the urge to hurt strikes, they’d learn to slip their hands down between their legs instead. To make themselves so horny any other urges were lost in the daze of arousal. The fact it makes you feel good and more positive about yourself is an added bonus.

And if they needed more, to let it out, I’d have them ruin an orgasm, ruin so fucking hard they cried. 

And it worked, for most of them, most of the time. Not always, for everyone. But that’s okay, we slip up sometimes. We just talk about it, forgive ourselves, and keep on swimming.

And when those new scars heal, which they will, we can kiss those too.


Let me just encourage anyone who feels the urge to self harm, be that cutting, or burning or unprotected sex (yep, that counts) or anything up to and including suicide. 

It’s going to be okay. I know you feel like it isn’t, but it really is. There’s lots of ways to deal with it, but they all begin one way, which is reaching out to someone you trust and not being scared to talk about it, just like anon has here.

You may think there’s no one who you can talk to, but I’m going to gently call ‘bullshit’ on that one. Let me point you to the nicely constructed 13 Reasons Why info site as I’ve just finished watching that show and it has lots of helplines and numbers for most countries: http://13reasonswhy.info/ There will be more specific groups helping with self harm in particular but these guys love to listen, and will point you in the right direction. Call them, right now, they are good people who want to help.

James xxx

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