Blog Post, Female Orgasm Denial

Hi James, I’ve been exploring orgasm control with my s/o for a couple weeks now and I love it. But there are times when I need to put my mental health first and have to use my safeword and take a break. How can I stop feeling so guilty when I use my safeword? It’s not because I’m afraid of disappointing my partner. I know that he understands and I talk to him about how I feel. It’s more that I’m disappointed in myself and that only makes me feel worse. Do you have any advice for me?

Hi anon, great question. The first thing is to talk about it, more. I know […]

Blog Post, Female Orgasm Denial

Hey! A few days ago, I got punished and I had to use my safeword for the first time ever. I still feel bad about it now and it happened like 5 days ago. I feel weak because I didn’t last through the punishment. But it was just too much in that moment. Should I feel bad or is it okay to use it even during a punishment? (Sorry for my bad English btw)

1. Your English is good. 2. It’s more than okay, it’s great. I’m proud of […]

Blog Post, Female Orgasm Denial

Hi James my long distance boyfriend moved closer and now we see each other all the time. I’m kinda into denial but my boyfriend got super serious super fast and it’s too much. We were having sex and he tied a vibe to my leg ( this is tmi sorry ) and it was too much like I’m into a certain level but I begged him to stop and used our safe word and he just wouldn’t stop and I actually feel really shitty about it. Sorry I really don’t know what to do

It’s not TMI at all, and it’s great you can ask questions like this. So […]

Blog Post

Hi. My sub has anxiety, but we’re thinking about exploring some more intricate bondage and things that would cause her to panic. She wants to take her medication beforehand, but I’m a little on edge about it. I don’t want to take advantage of her. However, there’s no way she would be able to handle being tied up further than what we already do without it. Do you have any thoughts or advice? Thank you!

Hi there. I’m no expert on the medication side, but there are a few things […]

Blog Post

Hey James, so I’m a Daddy and my precious little girl is a very anxious sub. She’s the kind of person who panics and drowns if you mind fuck her, so it’s completely out of the question, which we both don’t appreciate. Deep down she likes it, but in previous times we’ve tried it it got to the point of a panic attack or locking up. She’s really scared of safe wording, she’ll sooner dissociate than use the safe word. I’m running out of characters, so I’ll have to make another ask, hold on.

Anyway, I’ve tried being as helpful as I can, reminded her to safe word, aftercare-ing […]