Hey James, I’m really interested in the whole edging and denial thing. Just browsing your blog will get me really aroused. But I need some advice… I get off on the instructions part, but I feel like being denied doesn’t properly work on me. I’ll deny myself, but then I go on with my day and kind of forget about it. Do you have any suggestions on how to improve this?
It’s often a slow build up, so give it time, but also, it’s about frequency. Try squeezing in four edges in a day. One in bed or in the shower, another as a quickie at work perhaps, a third when you get home and a final longer one in bed.
It isn’t that you necessarily need to keep up that many, but it might be you need that intensity to kick it all off and get your body used to it and enjoying it.
I was chatting with someone who messaged me this week and described it effectively as we’re putting you ‘in heat’, switching your body into how some women feel at oestrus (when you’re ovulating) when science shows behavioural changes in women, and the men around them, at that time.
A study of lap dancers provided the strongest evidence yet for the controversial idea that men can pick up when women are fertile and most likely to become pregnant. When naturally cycling lap dancers entered their fertile period they earned significantly more in tips…
Holy shit I love research like that!
But beyond frequency, try some things that you know turn you on, or explore new things. My absolute favourite is you wearing underwear that makes you feel sexy, under your normal clothes. If you don’t have any, buy some, you will be amazed at the impact it has. This isn’t for anyone else, this is for YOU. So take some time out, go to some stores,and try on the stuff you’d never imagine buying before, and see what you like yourself in! And if you’ve never tried stockings and suspender belt (garter belt) then OMG do that now.
They are not only sexy as fuck, but kinky too. Kinky because they are so unnecessarily complicated. Just like that post from Stoya I put up, it’s about not just eating toasted cheese, but seeing if you enjoy pea mousse. Not because you need it, but because you can.
But the other surprise about stockings, is how practical they are! When I got my wife wearing them she was so annoyed at herself for not trying them before, because compared to tights (pantyhose) they are bliss to wear. And just FYI, when wearing for practical purposes, your knickers (if you’re wearing any) go on the OUTSIDE of the straps, so you can just go to the loo, pull them down, and pull them back up again without having to body-wrestle your way back into your pantyhose.
But beyond stockings, even a matching bra and knickers set really makes a difference to how you feel. Lots of followers of this blog are secretly kinky. No one knows just what a little sex monkey you are, or at least very few. And so secretly wearing sexy underwear under your every day clothes is the PERFECT way to enjoy that.
So buy some good lingerie and see how that improves it all, I bet you’ll be amazed. And yes, it’s an investment, so don’t go crazy, try it first and see how it makes you feel. And make sure it fits properly. If you haven’t had a proper bra fitting you’re 90% likely to be wearing completely the wrong fit. So do that, but then once you know you can order online at somewhere cheap like lingeriemart.com but really, you’re best off trying something on and seeing how it fits for you.
Also, be aware it might not be classic sexy lingerie that does it for you. If you’re into the ddlg side of things it might be, say, a cute little crop top and panties with unicorns does it for you, and that’s awesome too. Similarly, and EVERYONE should try this, it could be that going commando is what gets you feeling it. All good denial sluts should be going commando at least once a week when they can, that’s my opinion 😛
Okay, so lots of ideas there, if anyone tries it, let us know how you get on!