Tag : lube

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Do you have any dildo recommendations for someone who’s never really got past one, sometimes two fingers? I want to get one but I don’t want you end up with something too big to use comfortably. Thanks!

I do indeed, it’s Lovehoney’s 7″ suction cup silicone dildo

It’s like Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way, (EXCEPT WHY IS THE COCK HEAD BACKWARDS? It doesn’t really annoy me every time I see it, I promise.)

Anyway, it’s gorgeously smooth, perfectly bendable, and purple, I mean what more can you want…

Oh yes, the suction cup, which means you can even stick it to things to fuck, which is great exercise and a very different experience once you get used to using it with your hand.

It’s a great width for slowly opening you up, and the curve means it hits your g-spot pretty much perfect if you use it that way around.

I know 7″ seems long but it’s the length of most vaginas actually, but more importantly if you do find you love sticking it to things (you will) then it gives you that bit extra length so you can still enjoy it even if you can’t get all the way to the base.

Lovehoney Europe actually have a 20% off everything sale from tomorrow over the weekend so it might be a good time to buy it.

Save 20% at Lovehoney EU (starts Friday)

Lovehoney UK and EU also have a whole set of toys reduced to £20 of 


 off so if those two deals combine you’re onto a winner!

Lovehoney UK £20 deals

Lovehoney EU 

€25 deals

The one I recommend above is that price anyway. So try it out and remember they have a really good returns policy and process so if it isn’t the right one for you, they’ll refund or swap it out more than happily (seriously, they’re such lovely women on the returns line, although you can just do it by chat).

The other key is of course using lube. As you stretch and get used to taking more than a finger in you lube is going to make a HUGE difference. It’ll make it feel better, much more comfy and more fun.

The final point though, is do this when you’re edging. Don’t just go in cold, be really horny and warmed up and it’ll be all the better. Vagina’s are amazing, they can stretch, a lot. Educate yourself on the hymen too (lots in previous posts on this blog) as that may need stretching too, but mostly the difficultly getting penetration is a combination of you tightening up because of being nervous and simply the very stretchy material of your vagina not being used to it. It’s like unfurling tightly wrapped material, it kind of sticks to itself a bit as you first open it up, but once you’re relaxed and get past that discomfort for most it’s an incredible feeling, especially when you can reach your g-spot, which you normally can’t with just your own fingers (what I call God’s little tease).

I hope that helps, let us know how you get on.

Hi! Long time follower, first time messaging, but I just had to tell you: after seeing your post about suction cup dildos a few times, and getting incredibly horny every time, I finally bought my own & it just got here in the mail today! I’m still a virgin in that I haven’t had anything inside me other than fingers/tongue (I’m 22), so it’s a tight fit still (mouth included), but it’s the best purchase I’ve ever made and I can’t fucking wait to edge and deny myself silly with it, so thank you. ♥

You are so welcome! They really are up there in the essential sex toys kit. 

Can I encourage you to not just be lazy with it and once you’ve got into fucking it, start actually sticking it to stuff. It’s a REALLY good work out plus there’s almost nothing better that actually prepares you for great sex. You’re using all the same muscles and learning just how to make it feel good, whether it’s a cock or a strap on you’ll be fucking. 

Also, if you’re not used to something dildo sized PLEASE try using some proper lube with it. You will be amazed at the difference it makes in comfort and pleasure. Getting wet is brilliant but even a little lube added to your natural arousal is a must try that many never think of for vaginal penetration or masturbation. 

For those interested, here’s the suction cup dildo tag

Here’s my sex toy recommendation page with my favourite one of them

And here’s the link to 15% off that I got from Lovehoney! (US offer)


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Hi James, I’ve been dying to really do denial, but I’m either not wet enough, I can’t stay wet, or I get too sore too quick, and it might have to do with being used to being dommed. Any suggestions for a desperate slut wishing for a dripping pussy?

Seriously though, lube is the obvious answer. Not a water based one, that’s shit for clit masturbation, it’s designed to go IN, not on. 

Lovehoney have a big ‘blowout’ sale where their silicone lube is £3 which is just ridiculously cheap (that’s the UK site anyway). Also on sale is their ‘release’ lube which is fucking amazing. It’s really designed for handjobs, solo or shared but it’s amazing on clits too. If I didn’t have five tubes in the bedside drawer (not a joke) I’d be stocking up right now.

(That’s about three hours worth, don’t use that much!)

Beyond that, if you’re getting sore it suggests you’re going finger powered, so try a vibe (again, from £2.50 in their sale…).

It can be a real challenge to get used to doing it yourself if you’re used to someone else controlling things but I think it’s great to explore your own self control. No one will ever be able to edge you better than you can yourself – you can take yourself closer and know just what you can cope with, in a way no dom could.

I hope that helps!


Tonight was the first time I tried edging, and managed to make it about 4 hours before I let myself come. I want to edge again before bed and deny myself but my clit is too sore, do you have any advice to get around this?

Firstly congratulations on trying it, I’m hoping you enjoyed the experience given you want to try it again, and you spent four hours on it!

The four hours is probably the cause of your problem. If you rubbed your knee for that long it’d probably be sore, let alone the most sensitive part of your body.

Perhaps you’re new to masturbation too or just the fact you gave your clit a four hour work out… either way, let’s talk about masturbation technique. Variety is great. Don’t just stick your fingers over your clit and rub fast circles, vary that with stroking your finger tips over your pussy lips, sliding your fingers into your pussy, grinding the base of the palm of your hand up and down over your whole mound, pulling back the clit hood that covers most clits and exposing the bare clit and very gently tracing your finger tips over it, sliding your fingers up and down the ‘shaft’ of the clit, and anything else you can think of that feels nice.

Give it little breaks, move to just playing with your breasts or pussy or ass and then come back to your clit. Teasing yourself is all part of it. Not quite giving yourself what you want all the time.

And then there’s the issue of lube. Rubbing your clit through the clit hood (just in case you’re not clear on that, see below, the left picture has the clit covered and this is how most girls masturbate, rubbing that skin over their clit, but you can pull it back or it happens when some get aroused, that your clit swells and becomes exposed as in the right picture. The best way to pull it back is to use the fingers of your other hand either side and just gently pull up to your tummy a little bit and then you’ll usually find your super sensitive clit is exposed and ready to be gently played with. A bit like pulling an uncircumsized guy’s foreskin back really’

So, the other key factor in not getting sore is LUBE. Now yes, you produce your own and regularly going and dipping your fingers in your pussy can give many a nice supply to make their fingers slippery. However, mother nature has been out done, in my opinion, by one particular invention. Silicon lube. Just a few drops of this stuff on your finger tips will make your fingers or toys glide over your labia and clit like they’re riding on a glorious sexy slippery cloud. If you’ve never tried it, get some. A little goes a LONG way, even if it looks expensive, trust me, it’s worth it. When you get it, be sure to book the rest of the day out to just lie there and go ‘OMG why didn’t anyone tell me about this stuff before’ as you sink into blissful edging oblivion.

Notice I say silicon lube. Most others are water based and for use on the clit (or penis or anywhere external) they aren’t much good as they evaporate, dry out and get sticky! Water based lubes are great for internal use as they get rehydrated by your pussy juices and last a long time. But on your clit, which doesn’t really self lubricate much, they will dry out over time. Silicon, which is completely body safe, never dries out (although it is slowly absorbed as a moisturiser, so it needs topping up every so often).

As an aside, if you have a male partner and haven’t been using silicon lube to play with HIS cock then stop whatever the fuck you are doing and order it now. It will be the single best Christmas present he ever gets, trust me on this. 

So anyway, to summarise:

Vary what you’re doing, not just clit play, let yourself build up, your clit will get more used to it over time, and use lube!

I hope that helps