Tag : contraception

I’m having sex for the first time new week because I’m ready emotionally and physically but want some advice on how I should go about trying to fit my boyfriend’s díck in my pussy when I can’t even get 2 fingers in their myself even after trying for so many years. HOW DO I GO ABOUT THIS?

Okay, I’m very glad you asked about this!

So look, not to get too personal but a lot depends on how big his cock is. The average cock size is about 6 inches. And if he’s around average size then as long as you take things slowly, get really excited first, and USE LUBE it’s going to be fine.

Lube makes your cherry pop so much sweeter

No really, just your wetness, or god forbid, spit, is NOT ENOUGH. Especially when you’re doing it for the first few times but honestly, lube always makes sex better (and is always essential for anal sex, ALWAYS).

Your pussy is designed for cock, if you’re relaxed, lubed and horny it’s going to be good. 

But let’s step away from the denial blog here, and get reading my tips on how to make the first time AWESOME

Follow those tips, and you can’t go far wrong. If your hymen is still intact there might be a little sharp moment of pain where that’s streched more, and even a little blood, from both that and just your vagina isn’t used to being fucked, yet… but that’s completely normal and your pussy, like your mouth, heals super fast and is literally designed for this, so go slow, have fun, and you’ll do great.

Unless, he has a monster cock. If he’s really well endowed then we just need to add a bit more to think about. Basically, it’s going to hurt. Hopefully not a lot, and hopefully, if you’ve done all the above, in that ‘good kinda hurt’ way. Some women actually totally love that feeling of being stretched, but you’re new to it so the big thing is to use EXTRA lube and go EXTRA slow. I mean, crazy good self control by him needed here not to just wham it in, In fact the best tip is just as I’d suggest with anal for anyone, you go on top for that first time. Lower yourself onto him as slowly as you want, and take it little by little, stretching and edging yourself as you go. If it hurts too much then just go for getting the head in and then give him a blow job for being so patient and try again another day.

If he is big btw, make sure to read my guide on blow jobs for big cocks

Two notes, if it continues to hurt, go see a doctor! It shouldn’t and doctors literally train to help you with this stuff. So be brave and don’t suffer, get it sorted.

Secondly, all this assumes you’re both being smart with both birth control (don’t be in this situation, ever) and safe sex. If you’re not, then you might be emotionally ready but you ain’t physically ready, so get it sorted first and make sure it’s a hot, fun and sexy first time.

Oh and tell us all about how it goes cos’ we’re all pervs here and we love hearing about it.

Oh and I’d be remiss if I didn’t add edging into the mix. Edging for a few days up to it would never be a bad thing, it’ll help you be at peak arousal when it’s all happening, which you’ll both enjoy.

James

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Hi James! In reference to your reply to the anon having a pregnancy and STI scare I just wanted to say that I really appreciate how much you seem to care about your followers! You’re like a daddy of denial;) one thing tho, you said that women can get pregnant for 5 days in their cycle, while that was previously thought to be true the egg is only viable for 3 days BUT sperm can survive for a week inside the female reproductive tract so there are potentially 10 days ~ K (human anatomy student) x

Thanks anon – opinions seem to vary, 5-6 days is the average, but for many women their dates are all over the place every month. It’s common for ovulation to move by up to 7 days back or forth. So the point emphasised lower in the post is the key one. If you think just trying to miss the fertile days is how you’ll avoid getting pregnant the statistics show there’s a 1 in 4 chance you’ve gonna be a baby momma within a year. SO DON’T DO THAT.

As we’re coming back to the topic I just want to emphasise how much fun you can have without actually having sex. Because ultimately folks, the only 100% way you can be sure not to get pregnant is not have an erect penis near the vagina area.

Jesus ain’t your sperm goalie…

I speak from experience. My wife and I were both virgins when we hooked up, and for a mixture of reasons, the desire not to get pregnant, our church backgrounds (she’s a pastor’s kid), and on the positive side, the desire to take things slow and have fun the whole way, we decided not to have sex before our wedding night. And it was awesome! (and took god-tier self control)

We spent a couple of years learning all the amazing ways we could pleasure each other, without me sticking my dick in her pussy. Or her ass actually, (Although as fucked up as it is this whole ‘I’m a good Christian girl so I only do anal to stay chaste’ thing is, it still tickles me.)

I look back and the roots of my denial kink are all there, teasing her, edging her brains out, and also my zen master oral skills abilities too. But actually it wasn’t always that full on. We also spent months just kissing and touching and talking (I know right…), because we weren’t in a rush to get to ‘wham bam thank you maam’. We slept together, we showered and bathed together, but we just didn’t fuck, and it was great.

Now I’m not preaching abstinence. You’ve read this blog right? What I am saying is that it would be WAY better to do other hot, sexy stuff with each other than have unprotected sex, with all the stress and anxiety both the risk of pregnancy and STIs can bring.

So listen to Halfadollar people:

Boom.

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hey James serious question: I had unprotected sex and he came in me (stupid I know). How do I make sure I don’t get pregnant when the plan B pill isn’t available where I live?

Okay, that’s a very serious question. I’m sorry to say there’s not a good answer.

You can only get pregnant for about five days in a month when you’re actually fertile, so your best hope is it’s not those days. If there is any way you can get to emergency contraception (I know you say you can’t, but maybe someone else reading this can) then it’s effective for up to five days after unprotected sex – but the sooner the better.

Details of access in the USA ($40) and the UK (free, go NHS) – google for your own country – make sure, many are now offering it and many offer it confidentially.

If you really can’t access it then I’m afraid there’s not much you can do but wait. And I know that’s going to be a horrible and scary time but even if you are in your fertile period the chance of you getting pregnant is still less than a third.

To add to your woes I’m afraid that pregnancy isn’t your only concern. Unprotected sex means you’ve possibly exposed yourself to sexual transmitted infections. Here’s a little infographic from a UK Pharmacy. The safest advice is you should get yourself tested for STIs within a week of having unprotected sex, and then get another one a few months later as some take time to show up. If you can’t even access emergency contraception then I know the chance of you getting STI checks are low but read below for good tips anyway.

I hope you probably know this, and acknowledge how stupid it was, but let me just layout some contraception fundamentals for others reading and the first one is underlined for the OP too:

  • He does not need to cum in you for you to get pregnant – YEP! There is already sperm in his pre-cum, you can get pregnant from just fucking, even if he pulls out, or doesn’t cum at all. The ONLY WAY to minimise the chance of getting pregnant is contraception.
  • Unprotected sex is not just about pregnancy – condoms are the only method of preventing the transmission of sexually transmitted infections (there are male and female condoms, but most of us use male ones – but that doesn’t mean YOU shouldn’t have some to put on him, seriously don’t leave it to us guys, we’re lazy fuckers)
  • Condoms are only 98% effective at preventing pregnancy IF USED PERFECTLY. We aren’t perfect, we put them on wrong or they split, etc. So 15% of people who use only condoms as contraception each year will get pregnant! READ THAT AGAIN.
  • The only way to be properly safe (99%) from pregnancy and STIs is to use a condom AND another form of contraception such as the pill, implants or an IUD.
  • Going back to my point to the Anon about fertile time – you CANNOT use this fact to prevent getting pregnant, so don’t be tempted to think ‘hey we can fuck without condoms 20 days a month’. If you do this, 25% of you will be pregnant by the end of the year. Those are not good odds.

For everyone the key message is this, please, never have sex without condoms. There is NEVER an excuse that’s worth putting yourself through all the stress and worry that anon now has to suffer. And if you’re having sex regularly you should talk to your doctor about adding another contraceptive on top of that to be really secure.

There are lots of hot things you can do as a couple that don’t involve fucking. Handjobs are the winner as they are nearly risk free unless you made him cum near your pussy. Blowjobs are amazing too, and while they do carry a risk of STIs if you’re sure that’s not an issue then suck away to your heart’s content – just make sure he’s reciprocating.

I hope some of that is useful, anon, and that it’s okay I’ve also used it as a reason to talk about contraception for others reading. Thoughts and prayers are with you that it turns out okay. If you want to message me for further advice please do, it’ll all be confidential.

James

I love you blog and three months ago I went on birth control, I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half and our sex life was always fantastic, but since I went on the pill my sex drive had gone down completely, I find it so hard to be horny unlike before when I used to be constantly horny, just wondering do you have any tips or advice or if any of your followers do, thanks in advance, im sending this to a few blogs I follow so sorry if you see this coming up on your dashboard xx

I’m sorry to hear that. Firstly, talk to your doctor. There are a considerable number of different pills (and many more contraceptive options) which can have very different effects, so I suggest you get to see them ASAP and just be frank with them and you can try something else.

You’ve written to a denial blog so I’m of course going to recommend you try some edging and denial to get your sex drive up. Make sure your partner is focusing on different ways to stimulate you, some new toys might help, and he could practise his oral skills! But, with the intention that you don’t cum, maybe you’re allowed one every three days… maybe that works so well you drop back to even less! Better horny and denied than not horny at all, right?

But yes, first, go talk to your doc, they will actually know what they are talking about!

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