Tag : breathing

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hi james – long-time fan of your blog, looking for some advice. most of the time when i edge, it’s with my clit. however, my clit has never been all that sensitive. it takes a lot of vibrator power or hours of teasing by hand to even get to an edge. even as i edge more, the sensitivity just isn’t there. do you have any suggestions on boosting sensitivity? i was thinking about trying a clit pump before i edge, but i was curious if you had any other ideas. thank you! // -josie

Hi Josie,

So clit pumps definitely can help with sensitivity, but they’re a bit annoying to get reliant on. ‘Orgasm balm’ can help too, it’s basically dilute menthol rub, that helps bring blood to the surface and so make you more sensitive.

The major advice I’d give you though is just to mix up what you’re doing first. Try some different positions, and most of all combining clit play with penetration/g-spot stimulation, and especially nipple play. You may find the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

Also, read back on what I said about breathing for edging recently, and do the complete opposite! Use big breaths to build up ‘pressure’ as you edge harder, and try holding your breath when you’re really close to push yourself over.

James, I’ve been on no touch for five days now and I really want to edge this weekend, but I’m worried. Since I’ll be really sensitive I’m worried I’ll come on accident and I really don’t want a ruin. Do you have any advice for easing back into edging after a long period of no touch? Thanks! ~Eliza

Hi Eliza!

It can really vary, sometimes it does mean you’re super sensitive, other times it just feels really good and it’s nothing to worry about. So just give it a go at first, and try to just do ‘soft edges’ to begin, never getting yourself close enough to cum. That’s a mind fuck all by itself.

Once you do get close remember the key to not going over is your breathing, keeping it slow and steady, never taking too big a breath. Breathe in the pleasure from your body, and breathe it out. 

Most times you cum you’re probably actually holding your breath (not mouth puffed out style but deep breath in and throat closed, just think about it) so if you keep your breathing slow, steady and never completely fill your chest it’s actually really, really hard to cum!

Yes, this is a protip for any of you who struggle with going over by accident too!

Give it a go, let us know how you get on.

Do you have any tips for avoiding cumming when Sir doesn’t give me permission but keeps stimulating me? I cum every time and I feel so bad for making him punish me, I feel like I need to do better

Go to your unhappy place.

But seriously, keep your breathing steady, do NOT hold it, and yes, try to think about other thngs that don’t turn you on. Jim Carrey will do at a pinch.