Tag : advent-denial-journal

Day 13


I’m writing this one a little late because I was up late edging and I wanted to do the post justice. I really enjoyed this game, a lot, I had way to much fun last night. 

I like to edge at night so I can truly enjoy myself and the need I have afterward. So, I set myself up with my dice and my toys, ready to play the game. I really wanted a 6, so I decided to play until I got one. 

First roll, 5, breast only, this was easy, I love playing with my nipples. They are pierced and oh so fun to play with, I have never done an edge before. I started slowly, just teasing around the areola, focusing on the top where it’s more sensitive. Watching as my nipple grew hard, the skin puckering up then moving to the nipple. Giving each a tight squeeze is with my thumb and forefinger, so the nipple rises slightly, pulling on the bars, twisting them slightly. I found as I focused on my nipples and the sensation it was actually quite easy to get going. 

Second roll, 2, I set up my suction cup dildo for this edge, I set it level to the bed and fucked myself leaning over the bed. This is one of my favorite positions, it just hits all the right spots and it was easy to get to the edge. I challenged myself not to do any touching during this edge, it made it better, I was more needy and wanting, I could have orgasmed if I had just a bit of stimulation.  

Third roll, 4, its as if the universe heard my horny need and gave me a clitoral edge. I used my favorite toy, and I got there fast, and I really felt like orgasming, or even ruining as the previous night had put me in the mood but I didn’t. I actually did two edges back to back here, my pussy was in need of the stimulation, I’m not sure if that broke the rules but I didn’t care. 

Fourth roll, 5, again, this time I did some temperature play, just to spice it up a bit. I grabbed an ice cube from my freezer and used that to perk my nipples up, sending shivers down my body. I didn’t actually get a full edge this time but I did enjoy it. 

Sixth roll, 6, my second roll was a 2, thirty pussy smacks. I thought about this one before I did it and I don’t think I have ever been hit in the pussy before. I started lightly and it wasn’t so bad, I just hit the top. I followed the directions and increased the strength as I went, varying the position I even gave a few direct hits to the clit. I did enjoy this task and the nice reddening of my pussy. 

Overall great day, it was so much fun it distracted me from my want to orgasm, I was just really enjoying the edging. 

Nicely done, good to see you trying the pussy smacking. Most discover, as you did, it’s surprisingly enjoyable!


Advent Denial Challenge day 12 (2/2)

So… no touch… again!

It’s driving me nuts (but in the good kind of way) and I constantly feel like sucking dick now too. I can’t concentrate, all I can think about is my clit and my desire. So, of course, despite the no touch I still had fun today.

I teased my nipples a lot today, up until they were Very sore and fabric against it makes it already feel tender! They are basically continually erect. Because of my hornyness I couldn’t help but take sexy, exposing pictures all day of myself which I just Had to share on the blog. Just a lot of fun, and my clit kept aching and I was dripping all day.

And I met some other lovely denial ladies who I had some fun with and we made each other crazy horny all afternoon. I’m glad to make friends through denial, this is all so much fun to explore together and to encourage each other too! Throughout this trial there are so many lovely people I have met and the denial community is amazing. One of the most positive I have come across! I’m just happy and blissed and after this challenge I’m going to keep trying to cum as less as I can, if at all.

That last part in particular makes me so happy! It genuinely is one of the most positive kinks I know and to think that this blog is helping spread that and create more of a community, is both insanely hot and enormously encouraging!


Day 13, part 1

Rolling the dice for how to touch and how long.

Yay touching and edging! My greedy little clit was so happy this morning to see today’s challenge. It’ll be hard to reach an edge like this but oh it will be fun.

Here’s a little of what I did before work (well just the highlights because my lunch hour is only so long and at some point it gets hard to describe how much of a desperate horny mess I am without it being boring).

Roll 1 – rub clit, 5 minutes

Oh the most glorious way to start the day after not touching my clit all of yesterday. I woke up wet and aching again but it was nice to start a bit slow and luxurious. Savouring all the sensations and just how good it is to touch. But five minutes goes by very quickly.

Roll 2 – dildo, 3 minutes

This felt spec-tacular! Those nice slow thrusts inching faster as each minute ticked away. My pussy kept pulling my vibe out of my hand it didn’t want to let it go.

Roll 3 – hump, 3 minutes

Anything. Anything to keep that sensation going. I rolled over onto my pillow and rode it like a mechanical bull. It’s futile to try and edge like this, my pillow isn’t hard enough but after yesterday I certainly wasn’t giving up any chance for sensation. Still knowing that and how desperate humping makes me feel made those three minutes go both too fast and excruciatingly slow all at once.

Roll 5 – snaps

I didnt have an elastic at hand so I flicked everything the requisite time. All nice and stingy.

There’s a whole lot of humping and breast rubbing that follows with brief interludes of one minute touching or vibe. I need to institute a rule about how long I can play in the morning so I don’t risk being late. I kept thinking ‘oh, next roll will be the one’ or ‘one more roll and whatever it is, I’ll stop after that’. There are parts of denial I am very bad at denying myself on. 😈

Roll 28 and 29 (I think?) – vibe on clit, 7 minutes

I was so close after 28 and sooooo beyond grateful to get a repeat for 29. Everything was feeling so food that I almost forgot that I was just edging here and not going for a full on orgasm. On these occasions I always remind myself that ‘good girls don’t cum’, which sinks me into this glorious submissive place.

And then I practically ran to get ready and out the door for work on time.

I have been very fuzzy all day so far and my clit keeps throbbing when I’m not paying attention to remind me how twitchy it is.

Can’t wait to get home!

Advent Denial – Day 10




I am such a mess of mixed emotions right now.  I was following the Advent Denial Challenge task for today, (gooning with flashing porn and hypnosis audio!), and to remove any danger of accidentally going over while all gooned out, I decided I’d just fuck myself with my favorite dildo.

And I did, for a long time, slow, gradually increasing speed, getting hornier and hornier until I was fucking pounding myself, ramming it against my G-spot.  I genuinely felt like I might cum.  I decided to let myself, if I could, it would be worth it to experience my first vaginal orgasm ever.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.  

I let go, and I squirted…  and at first I didn’t even realize I had, because there was NO EXTRA PLEASURE.  It was just like I continued edging, only suddenly everything started to feel like I’d just came…  Increased sensitivity, decreased libido, painful-to-touch clit.  (I’m not really a multiple-orgasms-are-fun kinda gal, generally.)

So I stopped, cleaned myself off, and processed what the fuck had just happened.  

It didn’t feel like a clitoral ruin, but it didn’t feel like an orgasm either.  Well, I now (a few minutes after) feel like I just came, with the sensitivity and decreased libido, but there was none of the pleasure I’m aching for.  I just feel empty and frustrated and…  


Will my arousal come back soon?  Why do I want it to?  

Oh what joy!
If you’re a really lucky girl maybe they’ll all ruin like that from now on.

Advent Denial – Days 7 & 8


As I write this, my ass is plugged for the first time ever.  I’ve been curious about anal play for a while, and I bought a set of training plugs a while back, but never had the courage to try them out…  

And then advent denial. 

But before that, Day 7!  For those not keeping track, us denial challengers were told to watch ourselves edge.  In the mirror.  Staring yourself in the eyes as you get closer and closer…  It’s really amazing how complex a pussy is.

Today is  T O Y   D A Y!  Mr Denial Man (James, that is), I’ve been waiting for this one.  Because I am one of the lucky girls who just cannot come from penetration! 

Which is amazing when you’re denying yourself, because it removes the temptation to push yourself over the edge!  It’s just so much easier to edge when you know all you can do is edge… and edge… and edge…

I edged my clit in the bathroom on campus today, then made the rule that when I got home, I would be pussy-and-anal only…  Just to torment myself a little more, and to decrease the temptation to cum.  (I’ve found I like the feeling of being denied more than the internal struggle, y’know?)

But, come on, just fucking my suction cup dildo isn’t enough.  That’s not a rare thing for me, it’s not anything special, and this challenge is about experimentation!


When this came in the mail, I was concerned it wouldn’t fit.  It’s about 4 inches in length, which doesn’t seem like much when you order online, butt… 

To my surprise, (and to the credit of my lube!), it went in really easily.  And felt fucking amazing doing so.  Now that it’s been in for a little while, it doesn’t hurt, but it doesn’t feel nearly as pleasurable as the insertion.

I legitimately might have to try fucking my ass at some point.

I might enjoy it.

My favorite thing about Advent Denial so far is learning so much about myself, my limits, my desires, and my needy, horny body…

Can we get another ruin soon, James?  

Looks like I missed these journals, sorry!! (Do feel free to message me folks if I’ve missed yours).
Wonderful stuff @drusillasivious, so great to hear such a positive first plugging experience!

post image


Advent Denial Challenge day 11

Todays task was to call someone and edge while on the phone without them noticing….

Well, I hate phone calls, real exhibitionism isn’t my thing either, and it both gives me major anxiety. So today’s task wasnt for me. After a hard edge in the morning I remained on no touch for the rest of the day.

I wasn’t feeling all that well after dinner, so I decided to put on a pullup for that safe little feeling. But since it’s snowing like crazy today I thought to play with some ice cubes for fun. I pushed around 7 ice cubes up my pussy and dumped the crushed ice into my diaper. It felt super good at first, but after a while everything started to hurt a bit from the cold. The perfect punishment for my oversensitive clit I thought. After that everything just went numb. I tried to touch my clit to edge, but nothing. I loved that I couldn’t feel a thing while I wanted to touch so badly. It was sweet sweet ice cold torture, and I will definately try it again.

Now I’m just sitting here, waiting for my wet diaper and pussy to warm up again.

Oh, pussy crushed ice. They’ll be serving that in posh bars before you know it.
‘I’ll have a Pussy Colada please, barman’
For those tempted to replicate the ice experiment, do feel free but there’s one major rule with ice play, it must be melting before you do anything with it. So dump it in a glass until it begins to melt. This means that the surface has come up to a safe temperature to play with and you aren’t going to get it stuck to your skin.
Oh and, an ice cube is one of the few non- flanged items that’s safe to stick up your bum. Just sayin’
Just be aware you will get cold (seriously, it’s how you treat sunstroke in dogs) and while some of the meltwater is absorbed, some may not be…

Day 11


So after waking up stupidly horny today and weirdly dazed like the whole world was fuzzy, I realized I probably didn’t have an orgasm, but the most exceptional ruin ever…. and now I kind of get it. Congratulations, Advent Denial, you broke me. (By which I mean thank you.)

And oh gosh, hi, to all the lovely, amazing people suddenly following me. I’m super flattered. (And thank you to those of you who pointed out that it was probably a ruin, not an orgasm. You clinched it.)

Now I’m off to edge and try and call someone. Which sounds totally mortifying. I worry about my neighbours hearing me (which is hard when you like making noise).

Just realized what I thought was the ‘read more’ break was in fact a horizontal line… sorry for the uncut posts filling up your dash.

Update: This should be me telling you about edging on the phone with someone… anyone. But all of my friends were busy (for which I was admittedly grateful) and when I called customer service to try that I was on hold for 42 minutes and finally gave up – though I did edge a couple of times (and also freaked out when the terrrrrible music crackled and I thought someone was actually going to start talking to me). 

But sweet dreams everyone, who knows what delicious things tomorrow will bring.

Hey look, 42 minutes on hold is brilliant, well done for trying it!
I’m glad you’re enjoying all the new attention.

Day 11


This is another thing I have actually done before, not an intentional edge but I have been on the phone while a man pleasured me, twice. The first time I was on the phone with my mother and the guy I was with got tired of waiting, he started to play with me and then suddenly he bit my naked ass, the nerve. I told my mom I had stubbed my toe to explain my cry. The second time I was in the middle of getting frisky and I got a distressed call from a drunk friend so being the good friend I am I answered, how rude of me. He let me talk for a minute then proceeded to taught me with his tongue and his fingers, I did my best to control my panting but had my friend not been drunk I probably would have gotten caught.  

So today I really committed to this task seeing as I have prior experience. Do you all remember my friend from yesterday, the one I suggested edging to? Well, she and I talked again today, sadly she was busy last night and had no time for play maybe tonight. We talked for a while about nothing, school, exams, studying, and when I was feeling nice and relaxed in the conversation I slipped my hand down my pants. The conversation was casual and easy to keep up at first, as my fingers swirled my clit, and my arousal built. I knew my breath was going to be the hardest to control so I waited for her to start a story and then slipped one finger into my pussy. I moved it up against the front wall, drawing little circles. Then I started to move clit to pussy, tracing little circles, I let my moans and gasps come out as acknowledgments of her story, agreeing with whatever she was saying. I couldn’t tell you what the story was about, I think a boy, but I was a bit preoccupied. She finished her story before I finished my edge and I had to try and carry on the conversation as I got closer to my edge. She asked me at one point if I was distracted, I lied and told her I was looking at facebook. I did the full edge, on the phone with her, I don’t think I got caught but I also didn’t ask. It was not as challenging as some of the other tasks have been but it required a lot of focus and was definitely taboo which made it fun. 

A perfect execution:
*Waves paddle with ‘10’ on it.
Laughs when you bend over at the sight of a paddle.


Advent denial day 9

The challenge for this day was to dress up nice for yourself, and I kinda did it, but not really. I had been to a christmas party the night before where I wore a low cut dress and my cage bra and some thigh high boots. This was more daring that I would usually dress, but this denial challenge has been making me feel more sexy (and naughty). So I felt like I kinda already did the challenge, and since I was also slightly hungover and home all day (I still live with my parents, so they’d question why I got dressed up fancy) I decided to not so the dressing up part. However, I took a very long shower and shaved my legs and my pussy. This is something I usually don’t have the energy to do, but I love it when I’m smooth (especially when I’m masturbating) so it had the same affect as dressing up nicely for myself would have.

My first two edges of the day were pretty standard for me; humping and grinding on my comforter, but the third one so much fun. After my shower I spent a long time teasing my pussy and clit by lightly dragging my vibrator over it, whilst it was on the lowest setting. Half an hour later I was soaking and decided to put the vibrator in me instead. It’s a big thick, so it spend a bit of time just relishing in being stretched.

Now, I am not usually the kind of girl who gets much pleasure from penetration alone, and since my clit was so sensitive, I made sure my vibrator didn’t come in contact with it so I wouldn’t accidentally come. But boy was that night different. For the first time I actually understood why people enjoy fucking themselves with toys! I came so close to coming from penetration alone and I almost couldn’t keep my moans in, it felt so good! The only reason I didn’t accidentally go over the edge was because my arm got tired a little too fast.

I don’t know if it’s the denial or the half hour of teasing, but I have discovered a new way to bring myself a lot of pleasure and I couldn’t be happier

Woo hoo!
This is brilliant. Firstly great to see you adapting the task to fit the day. I should have mentioned shaving as an option, doh! Clever you.
Then the new discoveries of the pleasures you can experience. That is EXACTLY the point of all this so well done!!!! I’m so happy!