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Do you have any dildo recommendations for someone who’s never really got past one, sometimes two fingers? I want to get one but I don’t want you end up with something too big to use comfortably. Thanks!

I do indeed, it’s Lovehoney’s 7″ suction cup silicone dildo

It’s like Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way, (EXCEPT WHY IS THE COCK HEAD BACKWARDS? It doesn’t really annoy me every time I see it, I promise.)

Anyway, it’s gorgeously smooth, perfectly bendable, and purple, I mean what more can you want…

Oh yes, the suction cup, which means you can even stick it to things to fuck, which is great exercise and a very different experience once you get used to using it with your hand.

It’s a great width for slowly opening you up, and the curve means it hits your g-spot pretty much perfect if you use it that way around.

I know 7″ seems long but it’s the length of most vaginas actually, but more importantly if you do find you love sticking it to things (you will) then it gives you that bit extra length so you can still enjoy it even if you can’t get all the way to the base.

Lovehoney Europe actually have a 20% off everything sale from tomorrow over the weekend so it might be a good time to buy it.

Save 20% at Lovehoney EU (starts Friday)

Lovehoney UK and EU also have a whole set of toys reduced to £20 of 

€25

 off so if those two deals combine you’re onto a winner!

Lovehoney UK £20 deals

Lovehoney EU 

€25 deals

The one I recommend above is that price anyway. So try it out and remember they have a really good returns policy and process so if it isn’t the right one for you, they’ll refund or swap it out more than happily (seriously, they’re such lovely women on the returns line, although you can just do it by chat).

The other key is of course using lube. As you stretch and get used to taking more than a finger in you lube is going to make a HUGE difference. It’ll make it feel better, much more comfy and more fun.

The final point though, is do this when you’re edging. Don’t just go in cold, be really horny and warmed up and it’ll be all the better. Vagina’s are amazing, they can stretch, a lot. Educate yourself on the hymen too (lots in previous posts on this blog) as that may need stretching too, but mostly the difficultly getting penetration is a combination of you tightening up because of being nervous and simply the very stretchy material of your vagina not being used to it. It’s like unfurling tightly wrapped material, it kind of sticks to itself a bit as you first open it up, but once you’re relaxed and get past that discomfort for most it’s an incredible feeling, especially when you can reach your g-spot, which you normally can’t with just your own fingers (what I call God’s little tease).

I hope that helps, let us know how you get on.

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Just a tip for people buying off lovehoney, if you can afford it buy the womanizer starlet. Omg hands down the best toy ever! My boyfriend uses it to drive me wild and it takes seconds to build up. Also if you sign up to their daily deals they send amazing offers

I do hear good things about them but fuck me, who picked that god-awful name!

Clueless boss:‘Oh yes, our target is professional liberal sex toy enjoying women, any name suggestions?’

Neanderthal marketing man: ‘Well she’s a woman right, so we could call it a ‘womanizer ‘cos it like does a woman!’

Dickhead boss: ‘Brilliant, I love it, the Womanizer it is!’

Other brands are DEFINITELY available, but annoyingly the womanizer is still one of the best. Lovehoney have been smart and rebranded it as ‘Desire’, oh and it’s purple, I’m in!

Lovehoney Clit Suction Vibes

Then again you could just grab a lover or even a good friend and suggest you practise this:

https://edging.space/how-to-give-cunnilingus-like-a-superstar-3/

1/2 I bought the purple 7″ suction dildo on lovehoney, as well as a vibrating butt plug (which is so not like me AT ALL), because my only other vibrators were dying. And with my student discount I got a free lipstick vibe, so I thought I’d put the vibe in the dildo or use it on my clit or whatever. So I decided I’d go ahead and throw out my old vibes when I ordered my new stuff and not come until they got here (I’ve never been able to come from just my fingers).

Well the dildo feels amazing, I mean I’ve never gotten so close just from penetration before, but the vibe isn’t strong enough to make me come, even when it’s directly on my clit. So I’ve now spent 60 bucks on sex toys and haven’t been able to come once since I got them. Thought you’d get a kick out of that, cause I sure haven’t

Dammit, now I’m wondering if I should be recommending vibes that are too weak just to fuck with you all. 

Thank you, I love hearing how your new toys have been enjoyed, even in ways you didn’t expect!

Lovehoney emailed me this morning to say their January sale is getting ratcheted up to 60-70% off some stuff so definitely worth checking out. I had a look at the UK site and there’s some good stuff in it (a vibrating egg vibe for £3!!! and a nice looking silicone g-spot vibe for £13)

Have a look for yourself and post if you find any bargains or if you get stuff and like it!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Sale

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Hi James! I missed out on the lovehoney offer :( but saw the sale is on and really really want a suction cup dildo. Your fault! lol Which one would you recommend? I have a vibe but nothing else. Anything else you’d suggest (esp if in the sale pls). Ty!

Hi there anon. Gosh there’s a lot of love for toys on here now. I guess since we can actually talk about them and show pictures then it’s a good topic for the new puritanical Tumblr…

Okay so before I get into the sale let me mention something I spotted while browsing in the Deal of the Day (for both the US and New Zealand, randomly)

Lovehoney Deal of the Day

UK and Europe have a rather less interesting remote knicker vibrator, might be a nice present though.

The suction cup there can also take that purple vibe so make it vibrate, and on top of that you’ve got three other good looking vibes, and a butt plug.

That’s pretty amazing for $45! 

Oh you could even wrap them up individually and have a Santa’s sex toy sack lucky dip! I can picture it now…

Hey James, your wife says you get the butt plug.

Remember the deal of the day change at midnight. Hence the name…

In terms of suction cup dildos though, my ongoing recommendation is in the sale:

Lovehoney Christmas 50% off sale (on till tomorrow or Friday only I think)

And that is the Purple 7 inch silicone suction cup dildo

This is pretty much perfect in all ways (but one). It’s really high quality silicone which is what you want in a dildo. The colour is great, it’s so smooth I just want to rub it on my cheek, it’s got a nice curve in it for g-spot stimulation, it’s also a good size for anal once you’re beyond a beginner.

It fits in a strap on, in fact you can get it with an excellent strap on harness (the one we have) – which means you can use it with your partner – and that strap on is a split design which means guys can wear it too (why would guys use it? DP my dear, DP, or, if you’re a real kinky fucker you can cage his cock and get him to fuck you with this, heh heh).

The size of this is pretty much perfect, It’s NOT small, but not too big either. And because it has no balls, one of my favourite uses is sliding it inside a pussy and leaving it hidden inside, rubbing, fucking you secretly at work or school or wherever. Just imagine…

Anyway…back in the room. My one annoyance with it? Who the fuck put the cock head on the wrong way up? That’s not how most penises look. But it’s buried in you when using it so not a major issue.

There is a case for longer being better for suction cup dildos though. 

That’s because when you stick it to a wall, or floor, or mirror, or toilet seat, or window… the longer it is the less uncomfy it is to push back and get it deep in you.

Previously at this point I’d put in a gif showing just what I mean. But here’s a tumblr censored version…

A pussy slamming against a wall, geddit?

Anyway, back to penises we can show, fake ones!

This is in the sale too and is even longer:

But good god, it’s a Frankenweenie! I mean I get some like veiny but this thing could grate cheese. Also, as mentioned above, testicles are not desirable in these things if you want to secrete it in you, plus they make it heavier so harder to stick to stuff or more tiring to fuck. So go ballless if I were you.

Basically, get the purple one, you won’t be disappointed. Although for us in the UK it’s not in the sale, USA it’s down to $13.50, Bargain! £20 here.

Something you can only get in the US is this very special item though, I’m not sure how anyone will resist…

Oh yeah, the King Cock DOUBLE PENETRATOR down to $39. I mean, if you are paying by the kilo that’s a bargain!

I have to cite the write up, I think Lovehoney are trolling us here:

With more huff & puff than a hungry wolf, these twin peaks will do more than tickle the hair on your chinny chin chin. Vaginal penetration that’s girthier than Grandma, with anal slimmer than Slenderman, that will have you saying “Mmm, that’s just right”. 

Well, that’s my mum’s Christmas present sorted. But really, maybe, save that, for like, when you’ve had five kids, and a lot of butt sex.

If you men feel like you’re missing out I dare you to find the ‘Pipedream Extreme Fuck Me

Silly 2 Sex Doll Pussy Tits and Ass Masturbator 8.2kg” It’s so horrifying I’m not even going to post a picture. It would make a great cake tempate though, you’ll see what I mean.

Let me finish off with this one though as it’s one of the few toys we don’t have and I think it looks cool:

It’s a strapless strap on. The twirly bit goes in your vagina and voila, you can fuck things! I hear good things about these but there’s one MAJOR proviso.

To use them successfully you need to be able to crack walnuts with your pussy. Literally. If you aren’t blessed with Wonderwoman’s pelvic floor they are really hard work. £15 in the sale though (UK only) I think I’m gonna get one!

So, most of those are to be found in the Lovehoney 50% off Christmas Sale

There are LOADS of fun things there. And this is the second time I’ve typed this as it fucked up the page just as I hit post so I’m going to leave it to you to find some more and see what you like the look of! And let us know.

Also, remember with Lovehoney, and the big reason besides the fact we’ve used them from the year they opened, is they offer a no quibbles 30 day satisfaction guarantee. They’ll exchange any toy you buy and don’t like, and their customer services are brilliant, they’re the Amazon of the sex toy world IMO – the all female customer service agents are all big toy fans, and usually hilarious to talk to. So buy with confidence and if you find whatever you get doesn’t work for you, just swap it out! More sex toys to try, you can’t go wrong!

The last reason to buy from them is you’re supporting this blog when you do. I’m now having to pay to host the new sites I’m setting up to prevent being purged again. So while it isn’t much it all helps to make this worthwhile, and it’s kinda hot being your sex toy pimp xxx

Hope there’s some fun options in there for you OP. Have a merry and well stuffed Christmas!!

James

Santa brought her the extendable dildo she’d always wanted. It was so kind of him to stay and read the instructions with her…

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The world might be ending but at least we can get cheap sex toys – Lovehoney 25% off everything!

female-orgasm-denial:

Well, Tumblr have taken my headers, my logo, but they cannae take my sex toys!

‘This gold present is hilarious!!!’ she seemed to be saying.
‘Oh god, is it ANOTHER strap on’ he thought.

But seriously, this is a really the only time this year I’ve seen a big Lovehoney discount with no minimum spend. I’ve tested the code on the UK and US sites, hopefully it’ll work elsewhere too

Go to the Lovehoney Discount Code Page

And enter the code festive25

Finishes midnight tomorrow so don’t miss out!

You’re welcome!

It combines with the stuff they already have on half price so you can get this silicone suction cup dildo (you know you NEED one of these…) already half price at £15 down to £11.25 with this code THAT’S INSANE!

Bloody hell, you can get this lot for £37.50!:

I have that cock ring, it’s good fun! That blue thing looks scary though…

On the US site you can get a proper magic wand vibe for $26, I’ve NEVER seen it that low.

Seriously, now’s the time, Christmas is the excuse, get those sex toys and start having some fun! Code runs out tomorrow!

Enjoy and Happy Christmas!

James

Firstly as pointed out in the notes (thanks!) this doesn’t work on the .eu site. However, you can just buy from the UK site (it’s sent from the same place I think) and with the weak pound (fucking Brexit) it’s probably cheaper.

So click here for the UK Offers page

But also, I know a lot of you love the idea of remote controlled vibes! It happens both the UK and US sites Deal of the Day include them!

UK deal is this for £26.25 (usually £70!) :

Lovehoney UK Deal of the Day

While the US one is this whole kit! (RRP $90)

Someone loves bunnies… seriously though $33.75 with the discount!

Lovehoney US Deal of the Day

And like Cinderella it all ends at midnight!

Don’t miss out Cinders! It’s behind you (British joke)

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The world might be ending but at least we can get cheap sex toys – Lovehoney 25% off everything!

Well, Tumblr have taken my headers, my logo, but they cannae take my sex toys!

‘This gold present is hilarious!!!’ she seemed to be saying.
‘Oh god, is it ANOTHER strap on’ he thought.

But seriously, this is a really the only time this year I’ve seen a big Lovehoney discount with no minimum spend. I’ve tested the code on the UK and US sites, hopefully it’ll work elsewhere too

Go to the Lovehoney Discount Code Page

And enter the code festive25

Finishes midnight tomorrow so don’t miss out!

You’re welcome!

It combines with the stuff they already have on half price so you can get this silicone suction cup dildo (you know you NEED one of these…) already half price at £15 down to £11.25 with this code THAT’S INSANE!

Bloody hell, you can get this lot for £37.50!:

I have that cock ring, it’s good fun! That blue thing looks scary though…

On the US site you can get a proper magic wand vibe for $26, I’ve NEVER seen it that low.

Seriously, now’s the time, Christmas is the excuse, get those sex toys and start having some fun! Code runs out tomorrow!

Enjoy and Happy Christmas!

James

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You should let us buy you stuff hehehe #amazonwishlist

I thought I had to have boobs to be allowed to do that? 

Not that it narks me off at all that I can spend ages writing some erotic piece and all a girl has to do is post a badly taken picture of her breasts and it’ll get ten times the reblogs. (To be clear, I entirely blame that on men.) And you know what, if I were a woman and could get guys to buy me toasters for a picture of my butt, I’d be all over that.

But as for a wishlist, it’s very sweet of you to say but I think I’d feel guilty about it. I write this blog because I love teaching and titillating about the topic, and adore the fact tens of thousands of you edge, or even cum (naughty you) to what I write.

I think the legitimate way for me to actually make an income from this which would free me up to do it more is get off my arse and finish writing the books I’ve got half done on the topic, fictional and non-fiction. That feels a a better way to do it to me. 

When I remember I do link to my Lovehoney recommendations using a site that gives me a small commission, so if you want a win-win solution then buy your sex toys via this link (it should take you to the right one for your country, clever huh!

Make me your Sex Toy Pimp – buy from Lovehoney

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Hi James! So I was wondering if you could offer a suggestion for me. I have had two separate wand vibrators (one from Lovehoney and the other a body wand brand) but neither were very stimulating for me. I could feel the vibrations, but I would hardly get aroused from it. I’ve always fantasized about getting a hitachi magic wand, but I’m worried that it’ll be the same situation with a more expensive toy. Any thoughts?

Lots of sex toys questions, is Black Friday getting you all out looking?!

As long as you’re talking about the plug in ones, and not battery powered, then the Lovehoney is actually better than the Hitachi Magic wand as the Hitachi only has two power settings (at least the one we had did) while the Lovehoney one is variable and just as powerful as far as I remember.

The battery ones are pretty damn good now too but we still get out the mains powered one for those special times, like when I want to make her scream during post orgasm torture, you know, cute stuff like that.

Also, boys and those with appendages, press one of these babies onto the right butt plug and watch your cock do things you didn’t know it could.

Check out Lovehoney’s Magic Wands here

Fuck me, the UK one is £25 in the sale. I’d snap that up before it changes!

Anyway, back to OP

So, it might be that a big magic wand isn’t what your body likes. That happens. For some they can just be too powerful, even at the lightest setting (if that’s the case try using it through a duvet or clothing).

For others you want a little bullet vibe you can get right up against your clit, with your clit hood out the way, and find the right spot, the broad head of the wand is just too general.

The other thing to try with it though, is use it with a dildo. The one I recommended just now is a cracker. Push that inside you, jam the head of the wand on the base of it so the vibes go right up on you and it kicks the arse of any battery powered vibe. 240volts of pure vibratory goodness (okay 110 for our cousins over the pond).

What you didn’t tell me OP is if you can cum from other stuff, so feel free to message if you want more specific advice.

James

Hi! Long time follower, first time messaging, but I just had to tell you: after seeing your post about suction cup dildos a few times, and getting incredibly horny every time, I finally bought my own & it just got here in the mail today! I’m still a virgin in that I haven’t had anything inside me other than fingers/tongue (I’m 22), so it’s a tight fit still (mouth included), but it’s the best purchase I’ve ever made and I can’t fucking wait to edge and deny myself silly with it, so thank you. ♥

You are so welcome! They really are up there in the essential sex toys kit. 

Can I encourage you to not just be lazy with it and once you’ve got into fucking it, start actually sticking it to stuff. It’s a REALLY good work out plus there’s almost nothing better that actually prepares you for great sex. You’re using all the same muscles and learning just how to make it feel good, whether it’s a cock or a strap on you’ll be fucking. 

Also, if you’re not used to something dildo sized PLEASE try using some proper lube with it. You will be amazed at the difference it makes in comfort and pleasure. Getting wet is brilliant but even a little lube added to your natural arousal is a must try that many never think of for vaginal penetration or masturbation. 

For those interested, here’s the suction cup dildo tag

Here’s my sex toy recommendation page with my favourite one of them

And here’s the link to 15% off that I got from Lovehoney! (US offer)

James

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