So I lost my virginity 2 days ago at a frat party to a guy I barely knew. We did not use protection but he pulled out and I’m on birth control and he told me he was clean. This is kind of a 2 part question. 1. Are there any steps I should take re: STDs bc I have no idea. 2. Is it terrible that I did this?? I’m pretty into denial but had never had sex before and am feeling pretty upset that it was with someone I didn’t even know. Also that it sucked (but at least I didn’t come lol). Thank you :)

Okay, so that was dumb and it’s clear you know that. It’s not terrible you did this, sadly most people’s experience of losing their virginity is equally crap so don’t worry about it and don’t hate yourself for it. Forgive yourself, learn from the experience (lesson 1 probably being don’t get drunk with strangers who want to fuck) and decide to move on.

Unfortunately moving on now includes having another stranger examine your vagina because ‘he told me he was clean’ is sadly not enough to risk your sexual wellbeing and health on. Sorry…

So yes, you need to get tested but, you know what, that’s an important thing to learn to be okay doing so you might as well do it now!

It depends on which country you’re in just how that works so I suggest you simply google ‘How do I get STD tests’ and you’ll find a pertinent answer. It’s usually free (well I live in the UK so fuck yeah NHS rules) and however embarrassing you might think it is, the people doing it do not give a flying fart – it’s what they do ALL day. All they’ll be is impressed at you taking responsibility. Also they usually give out free condoms – grab them, useful for sex, and denial games! Many run drop in clinics, but find out first if you need to make an appointment. it is, of course, all totally confidential.

So yes, not ideal but don’t worry about it. Get yourself checked, no excuses. And congrats on not cumming, I guess. I’d have let you cum for your first time but too late now…