Thank you, it’s lovely to be here. I can’t believe how many followers I’ve picked up in just a couple of days!
In answer to your question it varies entirely according to the sub.
However if they are new to it there’s a definite pattern I try to follow as I introduce the concept. First I introduce it through some ‘guided masturbation’, simply a written or spoken play time where instead of masturbating the way you’re used to, you do it the way I tell you. And as part of that, just within that session, we’ll edge, talk about edging, and do it repeatedly before finally cumming. The scene is set.
The next play time I’ll suggest we try seeing how just edging and not cumming makes her feel, and that we’ll let her climax later in the day, probably…
Assuming that goes well we’ll try doing it for a day, and I’ll often either maintain contact to make it a very intimate, guided day of denial – it will include quite a few edges to keep her topped up.
And then, the most important one.For me there is a critical moment that occurs about three days into denial. It’s the point where a woman will often find she stops fighting the annoyance of not orgasming and starts to embrace the craving as a pleasure in itself. It becomes somewhat euphoric, I’ve sometimes described it as almost spiritual, a transcendental moment.
I’ve seen it again and again, make it to three days and something magic happens.
So in a way that’s addressing the second part of your question. The frustration can ebb even after a few days, however the need tends to remain strong for some time after that, and the frustration has actually been replaced with something more… profound.
So, getting back to your first question, once that barrier of threeish days been broken, really the world is your oyster and it’s just a case of how long we want to keep your pearl in a state of denial!
I’m personally not a huge fan of ridiculously long denial periods. Very simply because I love giving orgasms too, denial is a two edged sword for me, which in some ways adds to the pleasure of it, when I impose it on a women it costs me something too. There’s also an element that if you go for too long you can forget just what you’re missing, and a big part of the pleasure for me is the glorious agony of choosing the harder path of denial, and for that to be at it’s strongest, the joy of a climax must still echo in a woman’s mind.
So, on average, I’d deny a woman for between 4 and 10 days if she were just interested in it but it wasn’t an overwhelming kink. That’s more than enough to really experience it.
For those whom it’s a really foundational fetish we are talking periods of three or four weeks and beyond. The longest I’ve denied a woman is 50 days, however my collared sub, Elle, is desperate to beat that, partly because she’s a competitive little slut, and also because it’s a hugely deeply rooted desire in her which brings us both great joy. But I’ll talk more about her another time.
So yes, to your second question, for many if it goes on too long it can definitely have a deleterious effect. It’s very individual to each woman though, and part of the fun is figuring out what works best for everyone. As a dom though, there’s a real issue of if the denial is the basis for my relationship with a sub then if it goes on too long I simply get bored.
There’s also a physical effect that sometimes occurs that if you’ve been denied a very long time, counter to expectations, your first orgasm is very underwhelming, which can be a HUGE disappointment. So that’s worth knowing if you do ever go a long time. It seems as though the constant edging and denial trains your body to not orgasm. It’s very easily fixed with a few more orgasms, and not a rule, but just a possibility.