…With crotch rope. Jesus fucking christ. So, I did leave it on for work. Came home about half way through, took it off to take a shower, then it went right back on. Stayed there until about 5. I guess I kind of cheated, as once I got home I played for 5 minutes and then took it off, BUT, to be fair, I had been wearing it for hours upon hours without touching…I wanted to leave it on so badly, but at that point, it had been digging into my skin for too long, and turned into an uncomfortable nuisance as opposed to a turn on.

I’ve decided that the entire thing is deliciously evil. I think today may have been the most turned on I have been thus far. To be honest, just sitting here thinking about it is getting me wet, but I can’t touch until I go to sleep. 🙁 I still have no idea how to react to these things. Earlier today, I was incredibly horny and wanted nothing more than to slide my hands down and play with myself, but still, I wanted to hear ‘no’ from you, and was all the more excited and happy when you said it. It feels like having a split personality or something. The more miserable you make me, the happier I become. Everything you were saying and doing today was hitting all the right buttons with me, and well, I was indeed fucked. 😀

However, after I got out of the shower…I experienced a very ‘different’ kind of horny than what I’m used to. It was no longer just wanting to play with myself and make myself come. Instead, I felt like a dirty slut, who wanted to do dirty, slutty things. It’s a bit hard to explain how I was feeling. I loved putting that ‘rope’ back on, and why I was doing it, who I was doing it for, and that just made me so horny that I would have done anything to get to play with myself again. I suppose you could say I forgot everything else, and could only think about how badly I wanted someone to come fuck me against my counters. So..yeah. That was a thing.

I loved today. Feeling so controlled…It was amazing. Also incredibly frustrating though. At some point I crossed a line between, “Oh, haha pleaaaaase let me play with myself? ^-^” to, “Jesus fuck I need to bury my fingers into my dripping cunt so I can get some sensation of release.” And, I find it difficult to convey those things over text. I guess I just want to call you and start screaming, crying, pleading until you tell me to shut up or let me come.

In other news, I’m really skeptical that my toys are actually going to arrive tomorrow. Also, I’m terrified that you’re actually going to make me open them one at a time (please let me play with them properly. Remember, I’m supposed to do things properly.) Oh yes, after I got home, I fell asleep for an hour or two, and had a very…peculiar dream, which actually made me cum. >_> I was in the shower, shower head between my legs. People kept interrupting me, so needless to say, I was pretty horny at this point. Finally, I was getting close, and then, I FUCKING STOPPED. I denied myself. While dreaming. What the fuck have you done to my pysche? Well, regardless of the edge attempt, I went over and tried to stop, with no luck. Well, then I woke up, pussy clenching around nothing, dripping wet. The weird thing was, when I did woke up, it did feel like I had just ruined myself. Is this even possible? Or am I just starting to go crazy because I haven’t properly come in…However many days its been.

I don’t know if you were purposefully trying to be harsher because of what I wrote yesterday, or just doing whatever you wanted. Either way, I liked it. Too much. 🙂

No touch still kills me like no other. 😡

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