Wow. What an unbelievable few weeks it has been so far. It’s mind boggling to think back to when we first started talking. I’ve really starting to notice the subtle changes in myself. For starters, the shift from feeling nervous to excited has been so drastic. I find I’m so much more open to trying these various things that you have been proposing to me. Granted, I’m not saying, “Yeah, let’s go fisting!” yet, but the way I’ve been mentally approaching these things compared to day one is quite different.
Like I said, more open, confident, happy, motivated. It goes on. However, my excitement has almost gone from being eager to impatient. I’m practically chomping at the bit to take whatever you’ll give me. Perhaps you’re making me a bit greedy (Will you punish me for that too, please?)
Speaking of things I’m eager for…I want to get to a place where I inherently trust you and your decisions. I dislike when you tell me do something, and I become absorbed with worries about said tasks. I just want to be in a mindset where I don’t feel the need to question and examine everything, and am instead able to do it, and “fully submerge” myself in this. I don’t know, maybe that’s an unrealistic goal, but I feel that if I could get to that place, it would be spectacular.
Omegle. That idea was ridiculously hot. Honestly, the idea of someone loaning me out (in person) has never been a huge turn on, but your little fantasy got my mind racing. Hopping on a site like Omegle and exposing myself is something I normally wouldn’t do, but, as I’ve said before, I do feel safer with you. Knowing you would be there…ahem.. dominating the situation really puts my mind at ease. I’m not quite sure why I love this idea so much. Playing out some poor guys fantasies (every guys unrealistic fantasy of what they may one day find on Omegle?) while still completely under your control? It’s hot. If I’m learning anything from this, it’s that I’m much more of a slut than I ever imagined. However, it is definitely something to be saved for later. I want to be comfortable on cam with only you first. So, something a bit more mild would be delightful (thought I’m not quite sure what the entails.)
But really, the “Omegle thing” has always been a major fantasy of mine, right up there with having a vibrator strapped to my clit. I’ve considered doing something similar to what you described countless times, but found that I was never brave enough. Getting guys rock hard has always been great fun, plus, it often tied in with getting what I want. Just for clarification, not in any “gold digger” way…
More like, Him: “I’m going to sleep” Me: *Sends nudes, “Stay up with me?! ^-^”I’m still horrified and amazed at how quickly you’re finding my turn-ons. Some which I already knew I loved, others that are new. There are even things that you do or say that make me really horny, and I can’t coherently explain why I like it so much, or even what “it” is. Maybe you are getting into my head (a bit too quickly.) Still, this is such a rewarding yet challenging experience. I’m thinking and feeling things differently. You’re forcing me to rethink negative ideas and concepts that have generally been left undisturbed – if anything, they’ve been reinforced. In general, I’ve been questioning body issues and self-conscious thoughts that I’ve struggled with. How valid are they, really?
I’m just so grateful that I decided to send you that email. In fact, I’m kind of kicking myself for not doing it sooner. You’re so amazingly perceptive and intuitive. It’s wonderful that you have such a wealth of experience. It does make me so much more comfortable to have someone knowledgeable and generally intelligent doing this, as opposed to some douche who wants me to be his cum bucket. Lol. Talking to someone who is so sex positive has impacted me so dramatically, and so quickly. There have been a few times when I’ve been doing something you instructed me to do, then in the middle of it, I stop dead in my tracks. I suddenly realize that what I’m doing is something a lot of people consider taboo, or “gross.” But, you’re so calm, casual and relaxed when proposing these things (did I forget to mention how incredibly sexy it is? T_T) It feels natural to do them, not weird or taboo. I like that you make me feel this way. So…Thank you Sir 😉
Final thing, you’re right. I do *really* want to be your little cam slut. 🙁 So badly. Just promise you won’t ask me to shove anything up my ass when I’m on cam?