Hi Julia,

This is a great question. Firstly thanks for the encouragement. It’s pretty amazing how powerful this can be for self-confidence and discipline and all you mention, I LOVE hearing about that.

So, it’s going to depend on your therapist. I find most of them are pretty messed up people who’ve got into helping others by exploring how to help themselves. Which is totally legitimate, as long as they’ve got themselves sorted enough to actually be helpful. 

Often they haven’t.

So if your therapist still has major hang ups over sex and exploring your sexuality almost nothing you say will be received well. It’s them, not you. On the other hand they may be incredibly receptive and encourage you. Fingers crossed.

The truth is it doesn’t matter too much either way. It’s working for you, it’s a force for positive change in your life, it’s getting results. Do tell them if you think they can handle it, but don’t be put off if they don’t know how to process it, that isn’t unusual.

One trick that might work though, stealing from the therapist’s handbook, is reframing edging into something that sounds a bit more…therapeutic. 

‘Tantric masturbation’ – it’s more complicated than this but tantric sex and masturbation is essentially edging and denial. Sex without ejaculation or orgasm. And for whatever reason, I bet that’d go down better with a therapist than ‘Female orgasm denial’. So try calling it that and see how you get on.

But as you suggest, let’s see what others have experienced too, this could be interesting.

Lovely followers, share your experiences, good and bad, of telling others, especially someone like a therapist, about edging and denial…


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