This morning I was fingering myself when I remembered about one of my old fantasies: orgasm denial. I lurked tumblr on this topic a little bit and it hooked me so much that I spent the whole day edging myself looking at girls being locked in chastity, shaking from electricity, having their pussies whipped, and humiliated in a variety of ways.
My goodness it was wild! Rubbing my clit until I cannot hold myself anymore, giving myself a little rest, then stimulating it to the edge again, over and over and over and over… I literally lost count how many times I did it. It’s so hard to hold myself from stepping over the edge, so I keep repeating “I will not cum today. I’m not allowed to cum”. Actually saying it out loud helps a lot to strenghten my intention. Even when my mind goes blank because of the overwhelming emotions and sensations, I keep chanting “I will NOT CUM today” to remain focused.
My pussy is leaking, it’s sore, it’s red from the friction. The moment I touch my clit I’m already on the brink, and I cannot let myself cum because I told myself not to, and I cannot take my hand off because any stimulation still feels so good and I still want an orgasm more than anything else in the world. The frustration is real and it drives me insane. And I love it. So. Fucking. Much.
I love orgasms, and I masturbate to orgasm almost every day. But you know what feels even better? Denying myself this pleasure. Why? Because fuck me, a useless closet slut, and fuck my insatiable wet virgin cunt. I want to feel it aching in agony, while I slap it after yet another denied climax. It’s just torturous… And I haven’t felt this amazing in a long while.
I don’t know when I will let myself to step over the edge. Maybe even tomorrow. Or maybe I will forbid it myself again. I don’t know. What I know for sure is that when I do cum, it is going to be a ruined orgasm. I shiver in excitement when I imagine how frustrating it is going to feel to receive a hollow exhausting not-really-relief as a conclustion of a few days of desperate edging and craving for a sweet-sweet orgasm.
I’m on the edge again, but I will NOT cum today…
For those little sluts who keep cumming to my blog, read this and be inspired. This is how good, how much better it can be, not to cum.
Be like her, make a choice, start now.
You will not cum today.