And so we come to The Dream

The Dream is a technique you can use to bring up pretty much anything where you want to gently encourage a behaviour change in a partner but are worried about how they might react.

The trouble we have is we need to find ways to introduce ideas that don’t make us feel super awkward or raise difficult questions ‘where has she got THIS idea from…’.

And so a dream becomes our excuse for bringing something up. I recommend you do it in the morning, when you both have a bit of time to lie around and he’s naturally horny. But if you don’t get many of them you can bring it up any time you’re feeling intimate and sexy together. 

I tend to use it when I’m teaching a wife to be more submissive with her husband and to explain why she suddenly wants to suck his cock, all the time. But it works great with introducing denial, or any kinks actually.

It goes something like this:

‘You know baby, I had the hottest dream last night.’

Unless the house is on fire there’s no possible scenario where they don’t want to know all the details, trust me.

‘So, well I can’t remember everything, but I was remembering the other night, you know when you kept teasing me and getting me close but not letting me cum? Well it was like that but you just didn’t stop! I begged and begged and you just smiled and said ‘No, good girls don’t cum’ and you made me go and suck you instead. And even after that you just left me horny and didn’t let me cum at all’

He’ll hopefully reply that sounds really hot, but don’t talk too much about it at this point. Instead, go and suck his cock! Yes, leave HIM thinking about the idea of denying you while he gets pleasured. This is a key part of The Dream.

If he really wants to talk more then you can just use your hands but this is the point where you really just want HIM thinking he’s coming up with the idea of actually doing it to you. (Yes us guys are that dumb, make use of it.)

Now it may be just this is enough and leave him thinking, and he might play with you and deny you right then and there! OR this may give you more confidence to say ‘You know honey, can we try that, I want to find out what it’s like if you just don’t let me cum but leave me horny’.

Or you might suggest you try that tonight or another time. If it’s a gap till you could next do it you can use this conversation as an excuse to bring it up again. ‘I just keep thinking about that dream I had…’

Needless to say, make this worth his effort. When he does deny you react by being super affectionate, dressing up sexily ‘because you’re so horny’, maybe not wearing panties, ASKING to suck his cock, make him LOVE the effect it has on you.

Then after a few days you can try ‘discovering’ this is a kink people are into.

‘Oh my god honey, look at this, loads of women are into this!’ and show him the captions I’ve and other people have written (obviously avoid him seeing THIS post until you are really into it and he’ll think it’s funny that you planned all this from the start! Your best bet is to create your own secondary tumblr blog and reblog all the things you think he’ll like).

Finally you might want to use the ‘letter to your boyfriend’ I wrote a few days ago, but use The Dream as a way to soften him up and test the ground safely first.

In my experience this has a very high success rate. But it may not work. Don’t despair. If that’s the case then you need to suck it up and tell him directly that you’re really into the idea of not being allowed to cum and ask if you can try it sometime. The nice thing about the dream is that it lets him think it’s his idea, and us guys really like that, because we still amusingly think we are in charge.

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