I’ve been looking at this blog for a few years and am now in a serious relationship. He’s pretty vanilla(so am I tbh) so I didn’t mention that I was into edging because I was worried he might get freaked out. But a couple days ago he mentioned that he likes to edge when we are having sex so he will last longer and so I bit the bullet &asked if he would do it to me!Now we’re trying edging/handcuffs/blindfolds and I wanted to share incase anyone else is feeling nervous about talking to their s/o.

This is great! Well done. And it’s so important to realise, this is one of the easiest kinks to talk about.

What you DON’T do is go in with all the lingo ‘Hey so I’m a Denial Slut, I love ruined orgasms and only ever being given Hard Edges. You feel me?’

You get my point. 

What we do instead, my little army of denial sluts, is talk about it in nice soft and feely ways. When you’re close… ‘Don’t let me cum yet, oh god, this feels so amazing, sometimes I think it’s better than cumming’

‘Oh fuck, when you keep me close like this I want to let you do the kinkiest things to me…’

‘I wonder what it’d be like if you didn’t let me cum? Do you think I’d just get hornier and hornier and just be wet and aching for you the whole time?

You see. Not so scary is it.

As as the OP mentions, ‘edging’ is a guy things do too, and is somehow less threatening than ‘take away my orgasms’.

The mantra I often cite, ‘Cumming is good, but not cumming is better’ is deliberately geared to get that message across – that it’s not about orgasms being bad, it’s just, staying in this ‘pre orgasmic state’ to quote the Denial Cult Leader below, is better! 

So thanks OP, great to have your success story to share!