Hi Cat,

Not a stupid question at all! It’s really not as formal as ‘requirements’.

You’ve got to like me, I’ve got to like you, and most of all you’ve got to love the idea of having your orgasms and even your whole sex life controlled by a man who really gets off on keeping you wet and horny and constantly desperate to cum, but very rarely lets you.

As for the masochism, yes, orgasm denial definitely has elements of that, although it’s also incredibly pleasurable. But masochism can easily be wound up in what you do – using the fact you’re so aroused to experience how different kinds of pain can actually bring pleasure.

I find that most people are masochistic to some degree. That’s because as we get really aroused all the signals that would normally make us say ‘ouch’ get mixed up with the pleasure we’re experiencing and instead make us say, ‘Oooooh’, and it actually turns us on even more. It’s very hot.

The true masochist is someone, who from no arousal at all, gets turned on by pain in the first place. And that’s good too (if sometimes a bit scary). Both appeal to the sadistic side in me.

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