I just started a new relationship so I decided to put myself on a no touching rule to see if I’ll regain some of the sensitivity I lost to my vibrator. I want to take this new relationship slow, so I have no idea if or when I’ll be having sex or anything close to it. I’ve gone from masturbating a few to several times a week, down to not touching at all. It’s been a week and I’m already feeling desperate. Any tips you’ve got would be much appreciated.

What a lovely reason to be exploring denial! Here’s a few suggestions

Firstly try and channel your sexual energy into something creative and romantic – use it to write a letter, a poem, design something, take some photos for your lucky new partner.

Secondly denial doesn’t have to mean no touching, for most it’s about not orgasming. I think moving away from vibrators is a great idea for a while, but I’d suggest in time you try some gentle masturbation with just your fingers, you don’t even need to get to the edge of orgasm. Just keep it limited to a few times a week but it’s a chance to relearn your body and how you respond and get youself ‘revved up’ for what might happen.

Thirdly, tell your new beau what you’re doing, that you’re denying yourself, it’ll be a huge turn on.

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