That is unusual. It doesn’t mean there’s ‘something wrong with you’ though, people’s sexual response is really variable. But for most, with a good vibe, it’ll take five to ten minutes to get to the edge, for some much quicker, and for a good number of people considerably longer. But that’s about average.

Some Arousal Basics

A few basics to consider – getting stimulated is as much about the mind as the body, so get yourself somewhere you feel comfortable and relaxed. Use some porn or erotica or even better your imagination to make you feel sexy and aroused. 

Build up to clitoral stimulation – warm yourself up by playing with your nipples and breasts, teasing yourself, and even dressing up or down in a way that turns you on. For extended ideas on build up have a look at my Guided Masturbation task

Start to build tension with your breathing. Explore how you get closer faster by adding tension to your body, taking a big breath and holding it for a bit, tensing your back or thigh muscles, contracting your pelvic floor – kegels as they are known (the muscle you tense to stop peeing). Some or all of these can REALLY enhance how fast you get aroused.

The Dichotomy of Edging

But as you tense your body, you have to similarly relax your mind. Stop thinking so much, get caught up in fantasies, if some ‘To do’ list keeps getting in your head, stop, write it down, and leave it on the paper so you can get back to emptying your mind a bit. Focus on the physical, the pleasure,and allow those fantasies and your awareness of how good it feels to be all that fills your mind.

That dichotomy, of building tension in your body, while you relax your mind, is the essence of how to quickly become aroused. 

Try it, let me know how you get on. And see what other tips followers put in the notes too.

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