Hi James my long distance boyfriend moved closer and now we see each other all the time. I’m kinda into denial but my boyfriend got super serious super fast and it’s too much. We were having sex and he tied a vibe to my leg ( this is tmi sorry ) and it was too much like I’m into a certain level but I begged him to stop and used our safe word and he just wouldn’t stop and I actually feel really shitty about it. Sorry I really don’t know what to do

It’s not TMI at all, and it’s great you can ask questions like this.

So look, this isn’t good. And if he were an experienced dom I’d be spitting teeth and telling you dispatch his ass out the airlock. But he’s not. It sounds like he’s just got carried away and doesn’t realise just how important safewords are to making any kinky stuff work and be safe and consensual.

So you need to sit him down, tell him how you’re feeling and absolutely do not let him shrug it off. You need to make it clear he is NEVER allowed to do that again, it’s a huge betrayal of trust and he needs to know how serious this is.

But if you can do that, and think he’s got it, then I encourage you to forgive him, and move on, and let it be a learning experience for you both.