Hi Melanie! I’m so glad you asked this question, it’s such a great element of denial that we don’t actually talk about that often – getting yourself in the perfect state of mind and arousal to most enjoy being with someone else.

It’s not just the denial that works well here though, it’s the things that often go with it that can really help you get in the zone. 

Let me recommend a day or two before you’re due to meet up you schedule a date… a date with yourself! 

Make sure you won’t be disturbed all evening (or even day) and start with a hot shower where you spend most of the time exploring yourself with soapy fingers. After which you dress up in something you feel sexy in, not for anyone but you. And you keep touching yourself throughout, rubbing, fucking, tasting and most of all looking, seeing how hot you are, how good you can feel. 

Then when dressed up (could be anything from just favourite lingerie to some slinky outfit you love), you have a favourite, simple meal, drink some wine, before settling down to read Tumblr, watch some porn and masturbate, slowly, sensually. No cumming.

If you want to, you could text them, just innocent little messages at first (despite what you’re doing to yourself) about how much you’re looking forward to seeing them, and then, if you want to, later on, telling them how horny you’re getting, sharing a little of what you’re doing even, maybe getting into sexting if they can. But if you do that, tell them you don’t want to cum, that you love how it makes you feel and you want to stay that way until you get together.

As well as that or alternatively, try masturbating in front of a mirror, look into your own eyes as you edge, you’ll learn so much.

And what you learn, you can take with you, not just the arousal (which you can keep up by continuing to edge sometimes before you meet them) but a new confidence and sexiness.

I hope that helps! Do let us know how you get on.


Don’t just masturbate people, make love to yourselves.

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