Hi James! I’ve been thinking about this a lot for the past few years after discovering edging. How does someone “hold off their orgasm?” I’ve always found the idea Super hot but have never been able to do so… any tips? Thank you and have a nice day!

Hi Anon,

Well, the number one ingredient for edging and female orgasm denial is self control. Orgasms are great, and we do love orgasms, but it’s realising that it’s EVEN hotter and sexier not to cum. Because instead of just a few seconds of pleasure, it makes you feel good ALL day. And night, and day, etc.

It’s really hard to believe this, until you actually try it.

So the biggest effort comes that first time, where I think it’s best to just engage your curiosity. ‘My pussy tells me it likes this idea, now brain, let’s find out if this is true’

Don’t think you have to get to the absolute edge of cumming though. That’s great, and a real mind fuck, but it’s the hardest to pull back from. So when trying it at first, don’t take yourself so far, just until you’re close, but not a whisper away. Then stop. Get over the 10-20 seconds frustration where all you want to do is put your hands between your legs, and you’ll start to feel pleased with yourself for being self controlled and the ongoing glow of your arousal without it being killed by cumming.

Once you’ve started to win over the mind battle, where you actually start to believe that NOT cumming is as good as or even better than cumming, the physical side of it is easier.

Don’t be afraid to experiment. The simple rule is, if you go over by accident you ‘ruin’ it. For those new to all this it’s when you go past the point of no return on your orgasm and COMPLETELY stop all stimulation. Ruining the orgasm.

It’s a major mindfuck and weirdly addictive in itself, but for now it’s just your back up option if you go too far. 

You do need to give yourself some grace as you explore all this and find out what works best for you.

I hope that helps,

James

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