Hi, James. I’m in a bit of a predicament. I was about to have phone sex to edge me with this guy, but once it got down to it, I panicked out. He started calling me a dirty whore and a cunt and stuff, which I’m into, but he sounded like he meant it. I hung up on him, and he’s really, really angry. Now I feel dirty and scared. I know that this doesn’t have to do with denial, but I don’t know what to do.

There is a fine line between a dom and an asshole.

This guy sounds like an asshole.

If you hung up on the guy his reaction should be to be worried about you and find out if you’re okay, not, ever, to be angry. Red flag, right there.

So, take some time to get over this, you were just playing, there’s nothing for you to feel dirty about, it was exploring a fantasy, and that’s really great – it just happens the person you did it with wasn’t mature enough to know what he was doing. These things happen. Learn from it.

If, IF the dude calms down and gets his head straight then you might give him another chance, I’m not for instantly writing people off just because they fuck up once. BUT you do it very cautiously, this is his one and only warning. You have to be mature and tell him it is NOT okay for him to react like that, ever, and if he doesn’t get that, blast him out the airlock.

And if you aren’t even wanting to give him that chance then trust your instinct and move on!

I hope that helps, always happy to chat if I can give any further advice.

James