Woah there. Let’s deal with that first one shall we sweetie.

No one should be ashamed of being a virgin. Being a virgin is great, and beautiful. All it means is you haven’t found the right person that you love enough to give your body to in that most intimate of ways. 

There is huge pressure now to lose your virginity way too early, and it almost always leads to hugely disappointing experiences that most people regret and have to work to forget. 

I waited a long time to find the right person, and have no regrets about it whatsoever. I’m still married to her! And that’s despite getting into kinky shit from a very early age.

It sounds to me like you are doing what is important, which is exploring your body and your sexuality so that when you do meet that right person, it’s going to be, literally, fucking awesome. That’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of.

As for penetration, make sure you’re reading up on the hymen, it can hurt a bit but it shouldn’t be awful. If it really really hurts, go to the doctor and say it hurts when you try a tampon and they’ll check it’s nothing else.

Assuming it’s more ouchey than serious pain, then rere’s a picture of your first dildo:

FINGERS, first one, then a couple like this. Cut your nails short. Use some lube. KY Jelly will do, but some water based lubes like these will do even better.

RUB YOUR CLIT AT THE SAME TIME – get horny first, be really horny as you keep doing it. Pain turns to pleasure for most people once you get horny enough, and you’ll relax too. For it to feel really nice you need a bit more than a finger length, so this is just good practise for exploring and getting ready for a dildo.

As for the dildo to get, I recommend one on my toys advice page, which looks like this.

I still haven’t found better, everyone I play with ends up getting one. It sticks amazingly well so you can use it with no hands, it’s incredibly smooth and lovely to touch, and it’s the perfect width to start off with, as well as use as you get more into it.

Anything thinner gets a bit ‘pokey’, so even if it seems a bit wide, it’s not, get it, trust me. And if you get it from Lovehoney you get a year to return it anyway, so give it a go – just get lube at the same time as suggested.

Read more on it here:


Once you get it, again, go slow, use some lube (it doesn’t matter how wet you are, lube makes it better), get really horny and slowly start playing with the tip. tease yourself, over your pussy, just the tip, little strokes. Then a little deeper, make yourself want it before you let yourself have it, slowly deeper, rubbing your clit harder and harder. 

And when you slide it all the way in, and yes, you can… you can cum.

Good girl.

Let us know how you get on

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