Hi GMan, thanks, interesting question. And yes, it’s absolutely fine to not be extending this beyond a single session, whatever works for you. However, I’m going to start by just challenging you to try one thing before I answer your main question.
That is, I’ve found it very successful to BOTH engage in a bit of denial by choosing a day off for you both and starting something off in the morning and agreeing to both not cum until later in the day. If you can both edge each other a couple of times, very playfully, and then manage not to cum but hold off, until say, lunch, or later, then you’ll find that for the rest of the time in between you are ALL over each other; kissing, touching, telling each other what you’re going to do when you get back to it. Really worth trying.
The other version of that that I practice, is doing that to each other before you go out for an evening such as a meal or with friends – the latter is particularly fun as you can be texting each other the whole time and the shared secret between you is very arousing. Also it’s a great opportunity to put her in a dress and tell her you don’t want her wearing panties, or announcing that just as you pull up in the car, or even sending her to the restroom once you’re there with the instruction ‘take your panties off and bring them back to me’.
Okay, that diversion aside, I don’t particularly know web sources for other ideas to extend things within a single session but here’s some off the top of my head:
1. Tie her up – dressing gown cords, tights or silk scarves are a great alternative if you don’t have rope, A simple handcuff knot above her head or both arms to the corners will put her in the position of expecting to be teased and gives you licence to take your time. With any bondage, either agree safewords (red to stop, amber to say she’s finding it hard) or simply tell her that whenever she wants to be untied she just has to ask.
Even lying by her side and making her hold one of your hands above her head as you play with her with the other hand can be very effective.
2. Blindfold her – this instantly puts someone into a more submissive, receptive mood and simply allows you to take your time
3. Start slow, end slow
Start out with a massage or some body worship (working over her whole body with your hands and mouth) but start stimulating her pretty early on and keep coming back to her mound and breasts, building it up each time but then moving away to explore another part of her body.
4. Alternate taking the lead
Take turns on top, when the other gets close, you simply swap and focus on them giving the pleasure
5. Make her beg
Tell her you’re only going to let her cum when you’re convinced she really wants it, and however well she begs the first few times, find reasons to deny her:
‘Hmm, I don’t know, that doesn’t sound very convincing to me’
‘If you really want it you’ll need to be louder’
‘Saying please a lot isn’t inspiring me to make you cum, baby, tell me why you need it so badly’
6. Make it a game
Is there something she likes you can offer as a prize, it might be snuggling after sex or the choice of movie for the evening or who cooks dinner… put it on the table, ‘If you can hold off cumming for the next hour you get to…’ Great for the competitive ones.
7. Include some pain – for the masochistic (which is most of us when we’re close to cumming) a nice spank to the pussy or buttock will just take the edge off the physical side of arousal (although it can multiply the mental aspect of it tenfold for some so this doesn’t always work)
8. Deny the multiple orgasms
If she climaxes that’s not the end, it takes a finer touch but denial of secondary orgasms can be mindblowing as she’s often much more sensitive after the first.
9. Alternate pleasure points
Move between stimulating her g-spot and clit (for some women these just add together and won’t work but for others it’s quite a distinct arousal pathway) so that you’re bringing each part closer to orgasm but switching before climax. Include breasts and any other orgasmic pleasure points she’s lucky enough to have.
10. Match it to a movie
Put on a film (sexy/romantic one ideally) or a long porn movie if she likes those and agree you may only climax together at the finale of the film.
I hope some of those are useful!
I’ll try and post today or tomorrow my simple guide to performing oral sex on a woman who’s in denial – it’s basically brutally teasing, and applies whether you finish them with an orgasm or not, Hopefully that will be handy too.
Thanks for the question,
James