Hi there,

Well watching a girl fuck herself is hot, it’s hard to quite say why, but I’d put a lot of it down to the influence of porn. So, yeah, maybe he’s watching too much porn. Which may be something to tease him about (or more drastically cage his cock up till it stops).

I think the issue my wife has with something like this is it’s a bit distant, if I just sat there and watched her do it then it can feel quite cold and objectifying (yes some are into that, most aren’t). 

So I’d suggest you maybe try it the way we do, which is hot as fuck. She’ll lay back and I’ll start it all off, touching her, using just my mouth and fingers, and then introduce a toy. And I will use it on her first (pro tip, warm the fucker up by having it in bed with you against your leg for a while or if it’s waterproof, a few minutes in a sink of warm water – cold objects shoved in your foofoo are rarely sexy).

THEN and only then does she take it from me and start using it while I kiss and touch her, and sometimes we play it where she’s fucking herself and stroking my cock. One of us might be denied or we sometimes agree just one orgasm and she has to decide which of us gets it – so much fun. (And yes we play the reverse where I get to choose too, or sometimes we race in a 69 to see who cums first).

Another option, if you like the idea, is for you to embrace the ‘porn star’ role a bit more occasionally. Really go for it, make yourself up, wear something smoking, and – this is the fun bit, make him watch with strict rules. He’s NOT allowed to touch himself, only you can.

Oh yeah, and don’t forget the old switcheroo if he asks too much…’Sure baby,’ hands him the dildo. ‘After I watch you.’

It’s even hotter if you ruin it…

Got a problem you want my advice on, just send me a ‘Dear James’ Ask!

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